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Lilly's Diary
personal thoughts here
Why the ******** not?
Alright, I'm a sucker for long term plans.. no, really, I am.

I'm just going to start building a dream idea, since everything else around me has fallen apart, and I need SOMETHING to look forward to, so that I don't fall into a deep depression, questioning the "point" of living.

I'm planning on visiting Chloe -- sometime; when? I don't know. Maybe some time this year, maybe next year, I'm not going to worry about it right now.

But..

when I do visit, I'm going to look at apartments. I'm going to apply for jobs.. and see if I can get one. If I can.. if I can get an apartment.. I might just go ahead and stay there.

Incredibly unrealistic? Yes. Highly unlikely? Yes. Is it something to dream about, though..? yeah. it is.

I mean, thinking on it.. I have NOTHING else going on for me here. Nothing to keep me here.. so if I can find a cheap apartment, if I can find a job.. and I can actually LIVE, on my own, in missouri.. then I don't see why not.

Really, unrealistic.. but it gives me a fantasy, a daydream.. something to sit back and think about, something to make me happy.. while I drudge through my mundane life and try to scrape through day to day..

I'll save up money, and if nothing goes for me here.. then.. I might as well, yeah? I'd be happier, that way.. so would Chloe... and if we ever broke up, I could still live there.. I mean, I DO want to stay friends with her, even afterwards. It'd be tough, but others can make it work, so I think we could too. ^ ^;

Once again, just a daydreeam..





 
 
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