SinfulGuillotine
(?)Community Member
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- Posted: Sat, 04 Feb 2012 18:08:33 +0000
Lil Enslaved Kitten
SinfulGuillotine
I've exhibited symptoms of PTSD on and off throughout my life. These days more off than on, though random things still sometimes set me off. PTSD never really occurred to me until my psychiatrist told me he thought it might be the culprit for some of my..."issues."
Things that have been known to set me off include:
-Large windows
-Being in the middle of a crowd of people
-Being physically restrained during sex (used to happen all the time, though it hasn't happened in a while)
-Dissociating emotionally during sex (still not sure if PTSD is to blame for that or if it's just how I am)
-Yelling (again, used to happen frequently, not so much anymore)
-Rarely, seemingly nothing at all
I see a psychiatrist twice a month and am on some medications for anxiety, which has helped. Also, just time and general support and understanding from those close to me has done wonders in terms of me being a generally functional human being. It's nice to be at a point where I have more good days than bad.
Things that have been known to set me off include:
-Large windows
-Being in the middle of a crowd of people
-Being physically restrained during sex (used to happen all the time, though it hasn't happened in a while)
-Dissociating emotionally during sex (still not sure if PTSD is to blame for that or if it's just how I am)
-Yelling (again, used to happen frequently, not so much anymore)
-Rarely, seemingly nothing at all
I see a psychiatrist twice a month and am on some medications for anxiety, which has helped. Also, just time and general support and understanding from those close to me has done wonders in terms of me being a generally functional human being. It's nice to be at a point where I have more good days than bad.
I know that dissociation can be a symptom of PTSD, but I've also just never really found sex to be emotionally intimate. I can, and do, connect emotionally with people, both romantically and otherwise, and I very much enjoy sex, it's just never been this ZOMG SO EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL AND RAINBOWS AND UNICORNS OH MY to me. I just sort of shut off emotionally. Honestly, I feel like it actually makes my life easier in a lot of ways. I hear other people talk about how they experience sex emotionally, and sometimes I feel like I'm sort of missing out on something, but mostly I just feel like I've managed to dodge a lot of potentially painful and confusing bullshit.