Yes, I know this is unfunny and something that will make me seem like a jerk. The problem is, I'm the Arrogant Worms' marketing wh**e. As such, please forgive me, and know that half of my friends are vegans.
Listen up brothers and sisters, come here my desperate tale
I speak of our friends of nature, trapped in the dirt like a jail
Vegtables live in oppression, served on out tables each night
This killing of veggies is madness, I say we take up the fight
Salads are only for murderers, cole slaws a fascist regime
Dont think that they dont have feelings, just cause a radish cant scream
Ive heard the screams of the vegetables, watching their skins being peeled
Grated and steamed with no mercy.. how do you think that feels?
Carrot juice constitutes murder.. greenhouses prisons for slaves
Its time to stop all this gardening.. lets call a spade a spade.
I saw a man eating celery, so I beat him black and blue
If he ever touches a sprout again, Ill bite him clean in two
Im a political prisoner, trapped in a windowless cage
cause I stopped the slaughter of turnips, by killing five men in a rage
I told the judge when he sentenced me, this is my finest hour..
Id kill those farmers again, just to save one more cauliflower
Ive heard the screams of the vegetables, watching their skins being peeled
Grated and steamed with no mercy.. how do you think that feels?
Carrot juice constitutes murder.. greenhouses prisons for slaves
Its time to stop all this gardening.. lets call a spade a spade.
How low as people do we dare to stoop
Making our broccolis bleed in the soup
Untie your beans, uncage your tomatoes
Let potted plants free, dont mash that potato!
Ive heard the screams of the vegetables, watching their skins being peeled
Grated and steamed with no mercy.. how do you think that feels?
Carrot juice constitutes murder.. greenhouses prisons for slaves
Its time to stop all this gardening.. lets call a spade a spade.
Is a spade is a spade is a spade is a... spade