I'm so happy that I'm ~*~single~*~

[The Gay Science]

Shinobi Brown

The Gay Science

I don't really see a point in calling it a relationship if you don't plan to be in it for the long term. Not necessarily kids/marriage, because some people don't want either of those ever, but I think it's pointless to be in a relationship if you don't want it to be long term. Maybe have realistic expectation at the start that it might not actually happen, but still at least have the vague goal there. If I didn't see a long term, I wouldn't call it more than friends with benefits.

I don't really see a good relationship as "hard work", personally. There are compromises, you might bicker once in a while. Overall, it's not comparable to me with the benefits of having a deep bond with another person. I don't see the benefits of being single coming close to touching that. Even just having friends there will be minor levels of sacrifice and drama. You'd have to become a hermit to avoid it completely.

That's because there is no point in calling it a relationship if you aren't in it for the long haul. I agree with that sentiment. My ex didn't seem to understand that concept though. So when she told me that distance was an issue which she can't handle (even though it wasn't going to be permanent) I ended it myself so I didn't have to hear her complain. Had she really cared about being in it for the long haul she wouldn't have made it such a big deal in the first place, knowing it wasn't going to be permanent (shame on me though for getting together with a girl who clearly wasn't as mentally mature as I am though, I admit).

As for the benefits of the deep bond with another person, I already have that with my best friends. The only things that are missing in my life since I broke up with my ex are the intimate cuddling and the ******** (which are good and fun but something I can do without pretty well). I have deep bonds with people because I don't undervalue friendship and neither do the people I have those deep bonds with. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't have friends who will or have stuck with them through thick and thin because a lot of people do NOT value friendship as much as they should. Hence, why so many people can be flaky and unreliable. They are too busy looking for solace in a relationship even though it can be gotten elsewhere if they valued their friends more than they do.

Well, I do love my best friend just as much as I could ever care about anyone else, regardless the dynamic. We've been best friends since we were five years old and, since we both grew up in foster care, we feel like we were more like the only family we really had growing up. Although, the relationship I have with him isn't really any different than the one I have with my husband as far as give and take goes. Sometimes we do have to compromise and we do bicker from time to time. I think that's true about any human relationship. When you deeply care about someone, that's when you're going to disagree with them once in a while. When you don't care, it's so easy to just ignore the things you see as problems, because they're not really your problem.

I agree that a strong friendship can be a substitute for a romantic partnership, but I don't think the trials and tribulations of maintaining that sort of friendship are far off.

[Pink Plaid]

I love being single but I love relationships too. It took me a long time to be content with being single because I wasn't happy with my self. But once I was happy being single and happy with my self I felt I was finally able to be in a relationship.

[Iced Vodka]

If you truely love someone (and not just a hook up or maybe this would work kind of thing), relationships are really worth the hurt, the drama and everything else nasty that comes with the good.

[Jiti]

I read an article on Psychology Today about people being single. Some people are just single at heart but it's sad that society standards say that singles should find someone and marry them. Jeez, not everyone wants kids, not everyone wants to get married, not everyone wants a relationship.
I find that normal when someone is single at heart.

[cupcake soiree]

I enjoy being in a relationship.
I've been with my fiance' for almost 7 years now.

[Valtiel the Watcher]

It depends on the circumstances of how you became that way. Mine weren't so voluntary and left me with a strong distrust of sentient beings.

[Belonging To Night]

Updates

I've only been single for a few months but I absolutely love living alone and doing my own thing~~
we broke up because i felt i needed to find myself*
i'm a lot more confident and productive without him

all my girlfriends have boyfriends or men that they're casually seeing
and i don't miss that at all~
the drama, the sacrifices
I feel like when I'm in a relationship, i am not really my true independent self

so I plan on being single for a while
it's not even that I can't get anyone**

anyone else love being single?
do you feel its better for (young) women to experience being single before dating? (I think so)

Wait until you find that person who makes you not want to be single anymore, then they decide to break up with you because they want to enjoy being single. That's when being single, at least for you, doesn't feel all that enjoyable because everything you want to do becomes lackluster.

[Jaseur]

Been single for two days and I'm kind of on a high-low schedule.

During the day, I'm all "GAAHHH ******** IT I'M HAPPY".

Then at night I start to miss texting him... I miss the way he looks and I miss the way he held me...

Sigh...but I'm sick of caring about him! I'm sick of pretending he was perfect, and I'm sick of the responsibility.

So to hell with it, we had a good run, now I hope he goes crawling back to his pregnant b***h of an ex-girlfriend and gets roped into caring for the demon spawn that isn't even his. emotion_c8

YOLO.

[OshieKawaii]

You mention no drama and you have your own independence to do what you want.

o.o I'm in a relationship and I have no drama yet I am still independent as well. No one is pulling me down.

I'm happy regardless whether I am still single or not as well.

[Eir -The Valkyrie-]

6 years single and running strong ^.^

i can't honestly say i don't miss being with someone, but than again. it was nice to have that comfort.

-shrugs-

i'unno. it's alright.

[+[Bra Pirate]+]

I was single for two or three years before my current relationship. I enjoyed the hell out of it. There were always new opportunities for friendships or crushes. I didn't have someone clouding my thoughts. I don't really know how to describe it, but I enjoyed being single. And even now sometimes I miss it, but I also love this relationship.
I think there are pros to being single as well as being taken. You just have to enjoy whichever state you're currently in.

[b7w4h]

Marcus Junius Brutus

ITT: People whine about their shitty relationships and make out that all relationships are as shitty as theirs.

this

[whateverfloats]

I was single till I was 23 and I think it was good thing for the most part. I had time to figure out more about myself, independent of a long term partner.

Even now, I'm a bit hesitant to get into a serious relationship because I enjoy my freedom. I don't want to give that up until I feel like it's really worth it.