- by darkangel9194 |
- Comics
- | Submitted on 02/02/2009 |
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- Title: A Life Worth Fighting For: Ch1
- Artist: darkangel9194
- Description: Well I had this really crazy dream so I decided to make it into a couple of chapters. If it's not good to you, oh well, it's my dream, I didn't control it. I only enhanced it. Please don't aware me of spelling errors because I'm not all that great with typing. Keep im mind that this is told by jounal entries, so how the story is told will be different. But please leave comments and tell me if I should put chapter two in the arenas.
- Date: 02/02/2009
- Tags: death running shooting army hunted
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Comments (7 Comments)
- Bumbl3Lov3 - 07/01/2009
- I'm liking it so far! ^^ I know how you feel to have an interesting dream and have to add ALOT of details to make it a book. My book i'm writing is based off of a dream i had. Only mine was a fantasy world. I'd love it if you would read mine! It's called 'Pharling' you'll find the first two and a half chapters in my Gallery.
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- DiamondWings 23 - 02/22/2009
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It was fine for me, I agree with [[Beautiful]] l i e.
If your writing in a journal form, you can't write down what the other person feels/thinks.
And you can also leave out the italics.
Its not needed.
But, so far so good. Keep it up! - Report As Spam
- Pyrrhic Victini - 02/18/2009
- The biggest thing that will turn people away is the wall o' text. If you separate it out it will be much easier to read. Other than that, I have to agree that a journal-esq format of writing is not the best way to write something, as it doesn't allow for any suspense. However, if you choose to keep writing it like a journal be sure not to hint at the emotions of others other than the main character, since a journal would be the main character's point of view/opinion after all.
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- Nick Dabe - 02/18/2009
- I really like the journal format, but it seems like a diary, its nice, and the storyline is good also, yes, i think u should put chapter 2 in the arena...
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- jgirl39 - 02/18/2009
- It sounds a lot like a diary entry, which isn't necessarily the best thing for a narrative. Like Necrovius said, seperate the dialogue out - even something so small will help a lot. Write about how you feel as well, to make it more intriguing (e.g. I stared at my mother, uncomprehending. I knew I was shaking, but there was nothing I could do to stop it). Keep on with the story, though!
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- The Fallen 19 - 02/17/2009
- I have to agree with Necrovius, but it's still good. Rate mine too?
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- Markition Necrovius - 02/15/2009
- The biggest bits of advice I can give you are; separate out your dialog better, and to show, not tell. One of the most important things in writing, is to show the reader that something is true, not to tell them straight out. This is done with dialog, actions, and events, not through the narrator. Now I understand that you're going for a journalistic form of storytelling, but I'd like to advise you to reconsider that. I feel like this would be an interesting piece if you went for real-time prose.
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