Thirteenth HERO

Thirteenth HERO's avatar

Registered: 10/11/2014

Location: Cairo, Egypt

Birthday: 06/05/1997

About

☥☥☥

My name is Mariam. I'm 27 (though I look nowhere close to it) and come from Egypt. Despite how my avi looks, I'm a girl.

I struggle with several mental disorders and am very shy and socially awkward. Don't have friends or much of a family. This probably gives off the impression I'm too dull and gloomy in real life, but in fact it's the other way around. I'm silly, crazy and have a cool sense of humor. Someday, more people will get to see this side of me.

I graduated from college in July 2022 and have yet to start having a job for the first time. My inability to be independent, lack of social skills and very poor mental health have made it impossible. I'm hopeful this won't be the way forever.

I like drawing, writing, anime and music. However, it's admittedly hard for me to develop a deep personal bond with stuff. On Gaia, I tend to base my avis on my OCs.

Sometimes I'm active on here, sometimes I'm not. If you play on Subeta, you can find me there as "Lucian". That's where I'm (almost) always active.

I'm aware this self-introduction might be "too honest". I'm fine with it. Maybe someone, somewhere who's going through similar things will see it and feel relieved they're not alone in their struggles.

Also, a little disclaimer: I've become nearly as distant and socially awkward online as in real life over the past years. Sometimes I can't think of something to reply with and/or it takes me a while to gather the mental energy needed to. I do appreciate all messages and interaction, I'm simply putting this here to ease up my feelings of guilt a little.

AnimeList // Tumblr
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𓂀𓂀𓂀

Recent Visitors

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Comments

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gatorade iv Report | 04/13/2024 5:07 pm
gatorade iv
dude omg i do this too. i'll be watching something and be like 'did that shot cause the negative space between those buildings to align into a trapezoid'? and then i'll rewind three times to see it again. us shaking hands in a padded room
gatorade iv Report | 04/11/2024 1:23 pm
gatorade iv
np <3 thank you for your post too, it got me thinking a little!
like idk how your ocd personally manifests, but for me it comes out as a very maladaptive perfectionism (e.g.choosing not to turn in assignments if i thought i'd get a B instead of an A). so after reading your post i was like ok, it actually makes a lot of sense that i would get very passionately into things at the outset and then find it almost exhausting to keep up with/take forever to catch up, bc whenever i watch a show i do this thing where i imagine how *i* would pace things or arrange the plot if i were the director. like i mentally "fix" stories and dialogue to bring them closer to "perfect", even though perfect is obviously not a real thing lol. so watching shows and movies becomes a real task that seems exhausting even though it should be literally the most passive thing ever to just sit back and watch something lmao
Fogart Report | 02/28/2024 10:29 am
Fogart
You're welcome! biggrin
Spillways Report | 02/25/2024 7:41 pm
Spillways
your avi is so beautiful!! emotion_kirakira
Lofty Ambition Report | 02/01/2024 4:27 am
Lofty Ambition
ninja
seer zelda Report | 01/09/2024 1:26 pm
seer zelda
Your avi and profile are so lovely! heart
Akibrino Report | 07/17/2023 2:00 am
Akibrino
Hru?
Akibrino Report | 07/04/2023 1:13 am
Akibrino
Thank you so much! I rarely get a compliment in my avi! lol I like yours too!
Akibrino Report | 07/03/2023 1:23 am
Akibrino
Kon'nichiwa! Your profile background is so kawaii! 可愛い 4laugh
Lord Zane Savage Report | 03/16/2023 4:09 pm
Lord Zane Savage
Gaia is having it's ups and downs for everyone, don't give up on it yet, Kokita! there's still fun to have around.
same old stuff. anxiety, depression, i'm pretty much on suicide watch by all my family... even lost my job. this sucks.

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