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This is weird. It's been a while since I posted. 2 years. No one even goes on this thing since no one is my friend here but I guess I should update some things. Theo and I broke up in October/November. This year. 2012. I started dating someone named Jeremy. He's an engineering major. And he's a pretty cool guy. This is my third year in college, and I transferred out of HSU in May 2011 and into MJC [Modesto sucks, btw] in July 2011. I have one more English class until I have my AA in Language Studies, and all of my undergrad filled. And then I can transfer to another university. Hoping to go to SF State, but complications may happen. Either way, Jeremy is a nice guy. He doesn't cheat/lie. Two things Theo has done over the past two and a half years. Theo turned out to not be such a great person, actually. He was quite abusive. Emotionally. He broke down all my confidence. All my trust. I am a very negative person now, not only on myself, but also the world. He did to me what Chris did to me, only 5x worse. Chris was puppy love. I never lived with Chris. I lived with Theo. And moved out in March for multiple reasons. I also owned a kitten named Oliver for a while. I just gave him back to the woman who sold him to me so that he may find a better home than mine. I don't have enough time for him, as much as I love the ******** to death. He's quite adorable.
Anyway, I live on my own, 5 minutes away from MJC campus, in a studio apartment by myself. Matea and I hardly talk, considering she is back in Sonoma County, and I am here in Modesto. I made a friend named Angela Martinez. She is pretty wicked cool and I would consider her my best friend and only female friend here. Lots of guys have tried to get with me while I was here, and I have made a mistake in my judgements of some. But that's okay because I don't talk to many people anymore because I'm a crabby old cat lady, minus the cats.
I desperately wish to get out of here. I like Jeremy, he's a great guy, but I'm not sure how long we will last. I do not love him. I don't know if I ever will. Or if I'll ever get the chance to. But he is still my boyfriend and I still enjoy his presence/eating his food. I like the Bay Area, but if I could choose a place to be, it would be The Shire. New Zealand is a pretty gorgeous area. I could even see myself raising a kid with the right person there. Weird, right? A person's situation is very important.
I am hoping to go to England and China over the summer. We'll see what happens. I have a couple friends in England, one whom I will be staying with. China is so I can just say I've gone, plus I don't have to pay for it. Not really looking forward to it, since it's not for fun. It's for business and whatnot.
I have gotten back into reading for fun. It's really a great release for me since I am trying not to cut anymore. Although the other night I really wanted to. My depression is trying to eat me alive again and I am trying my hardest to fight back. I bought a new skateboard. It's a Zoo York again. Pretty awesome. Godzilla on the bottom. I am almost always sleepy, though. And I'm pretty much poor all the time. I have no money for food. I keep spending money. I need to stop that, really. I will try again this month. YET AGAIN.
Who knows what Jeremy is really thinking?
Peace.
Minitaur · Thu Dec 13, 2012 @ 12:07am · 0 Comments |
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