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chloe's frustrated because she hasn't been.. <stuff> lately, (don't want to post it in a public journal but I know what I mean)

sooo I've been helping her, and part of the atmosphere is affection, love, (even if it's fake), and so, when helping her just now, I had to say this and that.. I was building up the affectionate atmosphere, romance, all of that.. otherwise, it won't work for her, she won't be able to be <stuff>.

she just butchered it, and so now I know what the problem is. telling me I"m not her love, that.. sent a shock to my system. Like. I literally felt like someone took a electric wire, and shocked me, because she basically shattered the environment, and interrupted the magic I was working = =;

so I'm frustrated with her right now, and I just don't want to be lovey with her, or affectionate, or anything with her right now.. so what if she can't ever be <stuff> again, I don't care, I"m frustrated, that shock really hurt, and so it ruined my mood. I'm not saying that it's something I didn't know, because I mean, no s**t, she doesn't love me anymore or whatever, I don't care -- but to say that when I'm sitting there working with emotions, that interrupts the flow of magick I was working, and basically ******** me over.

SOOO idk, I'm soo pissed right now, because it's like working and crafting.. never interrupt someone when they're doing magic (literal, magic, that's what I was playing with) because when you do, it actually physically hurts them = = and since she had to do that s**t when I was trying to help, nope, nothing, no more, I'm done.

[update]ok

i hope she didn't ******** me over too, and cause me to stop loving her.. I'm not being immature/childish about this, but I was literally playing with emotions, and that shock.. like, I was the most vulnerable i'll ever be, so I could feel her emotions, basically.. and saying something like that, may have completely shut her out.. because (at the time of writing this) I feel nothing for her. o__o;;;

Ohhhh what a cruel twist of fate.. = =;

[update 2]
I'm not talking to any of my friends about it, because I honestly don't care.
Wonderful.

I'm hoping, seriously hoping, that I'm just tired from how much energy I used, and I"m frustrated that I got shocked. (I've only had someone interrupt a ritual twice, and it shocks the ******** out of you)