It's been nearly 3 years since ive fallen for her...im not mentioning any names...because i now have no right to speak of her anymore...however...she was always there for me...she was everything i was looking for in a woman...but as we got closer together...things started to change...ive noticed that something inside me has began to awaken...something that would tear the bond between me and her...this feeling ive tried to ignore for as long as i could...but as i ignored this feeling...the "thing" inside of me...continued to grow...
It was one day that that "thing"...nearly broke loose...and this really hurt me...the reason?...it was because it was nearly released on her...that merely made a small tear in our relationship...it is near the end of this relationship that that small tear...turned into an enormous rip...
Not too long ago...it happened...just as i thought it would...but this time...i couldnt control it...the "thing" that was lying dormant inside of me was finally let loose...on her...to the "thing" inside...this was intentional...but to the real me...it was a pure accident...i pushed my body to its limits that day...and as my mind weakend...so did my will to keep that "thing" inside...this is what happend that day...the "thing" was released...and it servered the bond between her and i forever...
I had hoped this wouldnt be the case...but it happend...and i can't change it...i just wish...that i hadnt made the stupid decision to puss myself to the limit...if i hadnt...we would still be together...if we were still together...i wouldnt be writing this...ive had my regrets...and ive had my doubts...but in the end...those regrets and doubts piled up in my mind and completely overflowed my thoughts...this is the reason why we arent together anymore...my stupid decisions...my wrong moves...my rash actions...and myself...
Even to this day...i have my regrets...i still have my doubts...but this is not going to let me give up...if i give up now...how will she feel?...how would my friends feel?...how would my family feel?...and most importantly...what will i be making of myself?...
I know now...i know what i did that caused this mayhem...the answer?...
Everything...
If you have read any of my quotes...you would probably know these...
"Your Friends Are Part Of You Never Ending Family...Treat Them That Way..."
"Your Life's Story Can Be Someone Else's Lesson..."
and
"Your Mind Is A Powerful Tool...Use It To The Best Of Your Ability..."
"Your Life's Story Can Be Someone Else's Lesson..."
and
"Your Mind Is A Powerful Tool...Use It To The Best Of Your Ability..."
These are some of my most treasured quotes...ive used them again and again in many situations...some were used in relationship problems...and most were for friendships...but i think i can now add these quotes of mines...to my problem...
I will believe in my friends and look to them for help as needed...as if they were my family...
I will learn not only from my mistakes...but i will learn from others mistakes...through both their storys and mines...
And I will use my mind to permanently erradicate the "thing" inside of me...
This is my private oath...this is my vow...and most of all...this is my story...
SHINAMARU
