Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

Shinamaru's Quotes & Stories
I write whatevers on my mind now...I've got all of my meaningful quotes on my profile now...so this is just some things i think...feel free to read it if youd like...
Part I:

Hello to you who is reading this...i hope you dont mind the length of this journal entry...i also hope you dont feel like your offending me by reading this entry...because i really dont mind...and whit that...i hope you like this entry...



It's been nearly 3 years since ive fallen for her...im not mentioning any names...because i now have no right to speak of her anymore...however...she was always there for me...she was everything i was looking for in a woman...but as we got closer together...things started to change...ive noticed that something inside me has began to awaken...something that would tear the bond between me and her...this feeling ive tried to ignore for as long as i could...but as i ignored this feeling...the "thing" inside of me...continued to grow...

It was one day that that "thing"...nearly broke loose...and this really hurt me...the reason?...it was because it was nearly released on her...that merely made a small tear in our relationship...it is near the end of this relationship that that small tear...turned into an enormous rip...

Not too long ago...it happened...just as i thought it would...but this time...i couldnt control it...the "thing" that was lying dormant inside of me was finally let loose...on her...to the "thing" inside...this was intentional...but to the real me...it was a pure accident...i pushed my body to its limits that day...and as my mind weakend...so did my will to keep that "thing" inside...this is what happend that day...the "thing" was released...and it servered the bond between her and i forever...

I had hoped this wouldnt be the case...but it happend...and i can't change it...i just wish...that i hadnt made the stupid decision to puss myself to the limit...if i hadnt...we would still be together...if we were still together...i wouldnt be writing this...ive had my regrets...and ive had my doubts...but in the end...those regrets and doubts piled up in my mind and completely overflowed my thoughts...this is the reason why we arent together anymore...my stupid decisions...my wrong moves...my rash actions...and myself...

Even to this day...i have my regrets...i still have my doubts...but this is not going to let me give up...if i give up now...how will she feel?...how would my friends feel?...how would my family feel?...and most importantly...what will i be making of myself?...

I know now...i know what i did that caused this mayhem...the answer?...
Everything...




If you have read any of my quotes...you would probably know these...

"Your Friends Are Part Of You Never Ending Family...Treat Them That Way..."

"Your Life's Story Can Be Someone Else's Lesson..."

and

"Your Mind Is A Powerful Tool...Use It To The Best Of Your Ability..."


These are some of my most treasured quotes...ive used them again and again in many situations...some were used in relationship problems...and most were for friendships...but i think i can now add these quotes of mines...to my problem...

I will believe in my friends and look to them for help as needed...as if they were my family...

I will learn not only from my mistakes...but i will learn from others mistakes...through both their storys and mines...

And I will use my mind to permanently erradicate the "thing" inside of me...

This is my private oath...this is my vow...and most of all...this is my story...

SHINAMARU



Part II:

Man!...does time fly by fast!...i swear i had done this only a week ago...but now look!...its been what?...nearly two months!...i must be getting better!...

However...thats not why im here...i feel as if i cant stop thinking...not just about her...but everything...my rights, my wrongs, my truths, my lies...hell...if you consider my friends and family something to think about ive probably thought about that too...theres just so much cluttering my mind that i just cant think anymore...

I dont know what to call this...Depression?...no...it cant be...if it was...id probably not be here right now...(no offense to those under depression)...*rubs temple in frustration*...Damn...i just dont know what to think anymore...

Although...im in this martial art called : Ki-Aikido...its a self-defense martial art...and its supposed to teach you to control your breathing, calm your mind and even relax more...ive only been in it for 4 years but i think its really helped me...i can clear my mind of the unnessesary thoughts, control my breathing (because i have asthma), and relax...giving me a sense of temporary freedom from everything...its like being in the middle of the ocean...quiet and calm...(well not really technically but you get my point)...its just a really great feeling...

"If you can laugh...you can be free"...im sure you've seen this quote on my profile...if you havent...you are free to check it out...its none of my business wether you care to even look at thouse quotes...anyway....thats besides the point im trying to get at....what im trying to say is that for those who feel restrained, confined, and/or inhabilitated...just find a friend you can trust to make you feel better...someone who you know can always put a smile on your face no matter what the situation is like for you...someone who you know can make you laugh...if you can..."you can be free"...

i say this because the girl i fell in love with...is that special person to me...that girl i fell in love with who i pushed away from me just because i want ready...is...and always will be...that special person to me...she need not hear this from me...but i just wanted to say that...this not only applies to your friends...but it can be applied to anyone...a family member, a random person, even a homeless...anyone who can put a smile to your face...this is my lesson to you...heed it well and you will be "free"...

i know i speak as if things were a puzzle...but i just have to say this......"Life is a puzzle"...you find one piece and add it to your never ending puzzle of a life...building it bigger...making a more defined picture...and revealing the true meaning of the whole thing...


Part III:

Wow...Part III...i never thought id do this again after that last one...oh well...anyway to the reason why im doing this again...actually...ive been thinking even more than before now...what about you ask?...well...i mention it quite a bit in Part I and II...but...i just cant seem to get these thoughts out of my head...

I mean...what have i done wrong all this time?...What can i do better?...not for this...but for her...or any other woman i meet in my life...im gonna have to learn these things sooner or later right?...but that has to wait...right now...my top most priority is to get these damn thougths out of my head...if not permanently then temporarily...just so that i can think clearly again...and learn what i can to inprove for the woman i love...or women i will love...However...im just gonna have to really try my best to get through this thing...

Anyway...this is all i needed to say today...i hope this doesnt have to happen again...but i have a feeling i will do this again...for the greater good...not only for me but for anyone who is expereencing what i am..."Your Life's Story Can Be Someone Else's Lesson..."...as i say in one of my quotes...but that's true for everyone...and i do hope that everyone knows that...kinda like how people learn from your mistakes...its the same deal...thats where i came up with this quote...anyways...gotta go...ive got to get back to work at the Underground Bar...see you all later...


Chaos Dusk Invitations:

Hello, I'm the co-owner of Chaos Dusk. Right now we are experienceing some business difficulty and we need customers! We are an RP thread so if you'd wish, I'd be great if you could create an RPC before hand. Remember: If you don't create an RPC then your character will be based on your avi. If you'd wish to support us then feel free to click on the link below. There will be further information and details on the first page of the thread.

Thank you for your time,
Co-owner Shinamaru


The link to Chaos Dusk:


http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/gaia-commerce/chaos-dusk-inn-bar/t.42190941/





 
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum