Sora: And now, an important commercial brought to you by...who funds us, again?
Cloud: Hi. I’m Cloud Strife, from the popular video game franchise Final Fantasy VII. As most of you know, I don’t eat much. Ever. That’s because Tifa’s cooking is poisonous. I’m not kidding. The other day, she came up with this great snack; ramen noodles in milk. I’m looking at it going “......”, and she smiles and asks if there’s something wrong. And come on, a jelly bean and pickle sandwich?
Squall: Actually that was Rinoa’s idea.
Cloud: Shut up, Squall. You’re only seventeen.
Squall: And yet I’m taller.
Cloud: By one inch, now stop it. Your turn is coming up, just wait.
Squall: Whatever...
Cloud: Anyway, when I want some real food, I stop over at Subway. Their new....wait, what am I talking about? Anyway, Subway’s new sandwich that’s probably a sub with, I don’t know, new bread or something. Subway, eat fresh!
Squall: Hi, I’m Squall from Final Fantasy VIII.
Cloud: Which was not nearly as popular as Final Fantasy VII.
Squall: And those of you who know me, know that I eat anything. Even in battle. See, I got this ability actually called Devour. I swear, it comes with the Eden GF which was really hard to get. See, you need to-
Cloud: Squall, get on with it.
Squall: I just wanted to-
Stan: Get on with it!
Xemnas: Yes, get on with it!
1000 Heartless: GET ON WITH IT!
Squall: All right, jeez. Y'know, some people actually want to find Ultima Weapon and-
Ansem: Get on with it!
Squall: But when I feel like eating some real food, I go to Wendy’s. All the time, their food is made from hot, juicy, burgers. Fresh, never frozen. And how about some bacon? The all new Baconater is beyond any bacon fan’s wildest dreams. Everyone remember: Hot, Juicy Burger!
Auron: Hey, I’m Auron. And I’m not a total sellout like these two jokers.
Squall: What? We're not total sellouts.
Auron: Yeah, you’re complete sellouts.
Cloud: Whatever pays the bills, dude. Of course, you don’t need to worry about that because you’re dead.
~And now, back to our program!~
Fran: I remember there was mist. Swirling mist upon a vast, glassy mist. There were candles all around. And on the mist there was a boat. And in the boat there was a man.
Shuyin: I don’t think it’s necessary to keep saying ’mist’.
Fran: Who was that shape in the shadows? Whose is the face in the mask?
Shuyin: What, you didn’t play FFX-2?
Fran: So, I’m going to take this mask off, now.
Shuyin: Okay.
Fran: Right now.
Shuyin: Have fun.
Fran: It’s really coming off.
Shuyin: I don’t really care.
Fran: Aha! (removes mask)
Shuyin: Aah! How dare you!
Balthier: All right, let’s take a look at these notes you’ve got.
Andre: “Dear Andre, what a charming gala Christine was, in a word, sublime. We were hardly bereft when Carlotta left. On that note, the diva’s a disaster, must you cast her when she’s seasons past her prime?”
Firmin: “Dear Firmin, just a brief reminder my salary has not been paid. Send it care of the ghost by return of post PTO. No one likes a debtor so it’s better if my orders are obeyed.”
Balthier: Thank you for that little musical number, now for our next question-
Firmin and Andre: Who would have the gall to send this?
Balthier: Yes-
Firmin and Andre: Someone with a puerile brain.
Firmin: These are both signed O.G.
Andre: Who the hell is he?
Balthier: Well-
Frimin and Andre: Opera Goat!
Balthier: What? No, I was thinking Opera Ghost.
Firmin: It is nothing short of shocking
Andre: He is mocking our position
Firmin: In addition he wants money
Andre: What a funny apparition
Firmin and Andre: To expect a large retainer he is clearly quite insane
Al-Cid: Where is she?
Balthier: Oh bugga
Firmin: You mean Leblanc?
Al-Cid: I mean Ms. Lenne, where is she?
Firmin: How should we know?
Al-Cid: I want an answer, I take it that you sent me this note?
Firmin: What’s all this nonsense?
Andre: Of course not!
Firmin: Don’t look at us.
Al-Cid: She’s not with you?
Firmin: Of course not.
Andre: We’re in the dark here.
Al-Cid: Don’t argue. Isn’t this the letter you wrote?
Balthier: And what is it that they’re meant to have wrote?
Firmin: Written.
Balthier: “Do not fear for Miss Fran. The Angel of Music has her under his wing. Make no attempt to see her again.”
Al-Cid: If you didn’t write it, who did?
Leblanc: Where is he?
Andre: Ah, welcome back
Leblanc: Your precious patron, where is he?
Balthier: Oh no, not her.
Al-Cid: What is it now?
Leblanc: I have your letter. A letter that I rather resent.
Firmin: And did you send it?
Al-Cid: Of course not.
Balthier: Everybody, STOP SINGING!
...................................................
Balthier: Thank you.
