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 Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2011 12:39 pm
So I've decided to write this, this is a little thread to simply ask "Why"
give me a good reason.
The reason why is not to say "It get's better" it's to get you to understand that it's not that bad.
I'm going through hell right now personally, and my only real means to escape it is to risk going to the hell of war... being 20 and in the debt cycle sucks balls.
but i don't sit down and cry, I just look to fix it.
Life isn't bad unless you keep going in those bad areas and let yourself succumb to them.
much of your depression is an illusion that has been brought on you by fixating on something you had to come to terms with. something that isn't good or bad, it just is. But you are told it's bad by those who can't even do basic ******** them, really. Do they matter? no. You just move on forward through life, get a job, get a degree, get a career. Get a lover, get a spouse, get a ******** house.
Don't get a razor or a pill, and don't touch that gun if it's not for protection, sport. or hunting. Because that one pull of the trigger changes who the bad guys are. Because if you really want people to look at you rightly, and to remember you, or not hate you, you'll just keep walking. And if you think you are s**t, think of all the people you leave behind crying, that's the definition of a bad person.
Be like me, be like countless others in all aspects of life, be them gay or straight, black or white, or just have some other issue. most people have bad patches in their lives, if you can get through this with a lesson in hand then you are all great.
if people hate you for who you are... then what do they matter.
if they physically attempt to bring harm to you, then fight them off and bring it up to someone. because ******** them, they aren't worth anything to anyone but trouble.
just keep moving, keep going towards the future and loving the present. If something occurs that isn't quite so pleasant, then walk away.
Someone sideswiped me yesterday on my way to class. I shook hands with her and we went our separate ways.
someone told me i'll never be an officer, I told him "You probably wont see, but I don't really give a damned what you think"
make yourself happy, don't do things that will intentionally bring negative things on others... just do what you want to be happy and have only restrictions based on your own morality.
Be smart, not emotional.
be free
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Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2011 1:45 pm
Dusty-Boy So I've decided to write this, this is a little thread to simply ask "Why" give me a good reason. The reason why is not to say "It get's better" it's to get you to understand that it's not that bad. I'm going through hell right now personally, and my only real means to escape it is to risk going to the hell of war... being 20 and in the debt cycle sucks balls. but i don't sit down and cry, I just look to fix it. Life isn't bad unless you keep going in those bad areas and let yourself succumb to them. much of your depression is an illusion that has been brought on you by fixating on something you had to come to terms with. something that isn't good or bad, it just is. But you are told it's bad by those who can't even do basic ******** them, really. Do they matter? no. You just move on forward through life, get a job, get a degree, get a career. Get a lover, get a spouse, get a ******** house. Don't get a razor or a pill, and don't touch that gun if it's not for protection, sport. or hunting. Because that one pull of the trigger changes who the bad guys are. Because if you really want people to look at you rightly, and to remember you, or not hate you, you'll just keep walking. And if you think you are s**t, think of all the people you leave behind crying, that's the definition of a bad person. Be like me, be like countless others in all aspects of life, be them gay or straight, black or white, or just have some other issue. most people have bad patches in their lives, if you can get through this with a lesson in hand then you are all great. if people hate you for who you are... then what do they matter. if they physically attempt to bring harm to you, then fight them off and bring it up to someone. because ******** them, they aren't worth anything to anyone but trouble. just keep moving, keep going towards the future and loving the present. If something occurs that isn't quite so pleasant, then walk away. Someone sideswiped me yesterday on my way to class. I shook hands with her and we went our separate ways. someone told me i'll never be an officer, I told him "You probably wont see, but I don't really give a damned what you think" make yourself happy, don't do things that will intentionally bring negative things on others... just do what you want to be happy and have only restrictions based on your own morality. Be smart, not emotional. be free You should consider a career as a motivational speaker. I have a pretty great life, but that talk totally pepped me up even though I didn't need any pepping. biggrin
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Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2011 11:46 pm
My father killed himself on February 6th of this year.
Sometimes I sit up at night and cry. I wonder all of the same things that you're wondering.
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Posted: Sun Oct 23, 2011 12:06 am
I had a different reaction. It sounded more like he was preachily blaming the depressed person. Much like The Ultimatum from Unemployed Man (which is a great book that I highly recommend to anyone that is capable of appreciating a politically liberal point of view). Nothing about how it will get better, nothing about how the rest of your life won't be like this... Just a bunch of "you're letting it happen." So yeah, I wasn't a fan of your approach OP. Honestly... Even Snape did better.
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Posted: Sun Oct 23, 2011 12:08 am
like they say, " the sun must set to rise."
I've always know that things get better. At least they do for me. But some people are always going to have bad luck with things they can't control. Such as health issues, someone robbed them, their car got wrecked, etc.
What would you say to people that have a permanent black cloud over them all their lives? My gf has something like that. I try to be the wind that blows such a cloud away, by protecting her from things cuz I'm a paranoid person.
Or maybe that's the cure? When someone has a perma- cloud, they need someone to help them out of it. Which could take months, if you're willing.
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Posted: Sun Oct 23, 2011 12:28 am
An absolutely excellent summary of my thoughts. I hope ,amy people get to read this.
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Posted: Sun Oct 23, 2011 5:04 am
This is a poem I wrote after my great-grandmother died (naturally), but I think it can be used in many different situations.
Stone
People’s sobs are all I hear.
Yet I cannot seem to shed a tear.
For I am stone, set in place.
Even though you’re in heaven’s grace.
I am a rock, all feeling stops.
From my eyes no water drops.
For you, people flock from around the nation.
For them I become a sort of foundation.
I do my best to set them free.
As they pile tears and fears upon me.
Yet as a stone, I take it all.
And as a stone, I’ll never fall.
Come fire, brimstone, even death.
I’ll show no feeling till my last breath.
For I am stone, set in place.
And no emotion shall cross my face.
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Posted: Sun Oct 23, 2011 5:56 am
OP, you clearly do not understand depression as a disease, nor have you expeirienced it. It isn't a matter of saying "I'll be happy now". If it was, don't you think people would be doing that? Of course they would do that. I'm going to agree with Matasoga that the OP seems to be blaming depression on the person. And as someone that's seen others deal with depression and dealt with it myself, I find that pretty ******** insulting. Thanks, OP for trivializing what I've gone through. And blaming me for it.
As for getting a job and degree and career, you're too young to understand but that isn't exactly an easy thing. Buy a house? Try buying a house on minimum wage. Try working FULL TIME and going to school FULL time and try to make enough to survive on. And going to school if you can even get the loans means you'll be paying them back for years. Decades. Yay for debt up to your eyeballs. Good luck getting a house after having to pay thousands of dollars for school. You make it sound so easy OP. You have no idea. Guess what. For some people, things will not get better. Life will continue to suck and they're stuck. But again, I don't expect you to understand that.
So I repeat, thanks for trivializing what I've gone through in my life, OP. Thanks for blaming me.
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Posted: Sun Oct 23, 2011 6:53 am
Matasoga and Lady Kayura put it nicely.
To answer the question- people contemplate suicide when their ability to cope is broken under the weight of other things they don't have the resources to deal with.That's your good reason- it's not a reason it should happen, but maybe now you can understand it a little more.
Empathy is important- you're speaking from a place of privilege and blaming everyone else for not being just like you, well, we're not all just like you. It's almost ironic that you talk about people who don't matter and about empathy when you haven't shown any yourself.
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Posted: Sun Oct 23, 2011 7:32 am
Dusty Boy I understand your want to think it's easy, but it's not. I suffer from Bipolar, and my depressive episodes are long and hard on me. You have to realize that when you have depression it's not just an emotional thing. It's a physical thing. There is something wrong with your neurotransmitters. Things such as dopamine don't get to the dendrite of the other neuron, or something like that. People like me can't control how we feel no matter how HARD we try. As a person that knows how depression feels I know it's SOOOO hard to even think happy. Then taking the step to control it is like jumping from the tip of one mountain to the tip of another mountain being twenty thousand miles away. So Dusty Boy when you're at the lowest of lows and you can't figure out how to get up (as I've felt over, and over, and over again) suicide seems so simple. It's the only way you know how to get up. Of course now that I understand what is going on with me I know that I have to stop those thoughts. Of course that's not an easy thing to do and it takes forever. But I have it easy. I know I have to wait for my next manic episode, and I get out. I TRUELY feel bad for those who suffer from only Depression. I hope things get better for you.
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Posted: Sun Oct 23, 2011 10:15 am
As someone who seriously considered suicide, attempted it even, I find that this is severely one sided. Depression is, in every sense of the word, is a disease. A neurological disease that can't be fixed by being told things 'get better'.
I know that my blind and, yes, what most people would call stupid, actions will haunt me the rest of my life. I'm not going to lie. I regret doing that. But I can't hang on it. I know that things get better, but I can't really see that far ahead. I can only see today, this moment. Can only go, "Okay, so I took a step forward. What now? Am I going in the opposite direction?" But I can't stop and think about it, or else everything will catch up to me. Like a heavy cape in water, if I stop moving forward, I'll be tangled up in that suffocating fabric.
So I keep moving. That isn't to say I don't try and stop, to slow down, but I can't. It's too much to bear. It's near impossible to describe what I feel, and I can only hope I've articulated it as well as I humanly can.
But, Dusty-Boy, sometimes the why isn't important. Sometimes the pain just makes you not care. Sometimes the person ending their life is acting like a veterinarian putting down an animal.
Sometimes it's only humane.
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Posted: Sun Oct 23, 2011 12:50 pm
What was your intent in making this thread? You don't sound like you really want to know why people consider or attempt suicide. In fact, from your post, it sounds very much like you've already decided what their motives are and what their lives are like, and have dismissed them entirely. You know, since you've gone through bad times and haven't attempted suicide, anyone else who does is a bad/weak person, amirite?
I hate it when people treat life experiences, positive or negative, like some kind of pissing contest.
You don't appear to have any concept of what a mental illness is, nor do you seem to realize that attitudes like yours are one of the reasons so many people with suicidal feelings never seek help. Why would they, since people like you just tell them, essentially, to cheer up and get over it. "It's all in your head".
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Posted: Sun Oct 23, 2011 1:16 pm
Jonstalker62 This is a poem I wrote after my great-grandmother died (naturally), but I think it can be used in many different situations. StonePeople’s sobs are all I hear. Yet I cannot seem to shed a tear. For I am stone, set in place. Even though you’re in heaven’s grace. I am a rock, all feeling stops. From my eyes no water drops. For you, people flock from around the nation. For them I become a sort of foundation. I do my best to set them free. As they pile tears and fears upon me. Yet as a stone, I take it all. And as a stone, I’ll never fall. Come fire, brimstone, even death. I’ll show no feeling till my last breath. For I am stone, set in place. And no emotion shall cross my face. Beautiful Poem... It brightened up my eyes to see the truth in depressing stuations. To get a grasp and understanding on some of mine... Thanks
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Posted: Sun Oct 23, 2011 1:49 pm
I agree with Taeryyn above me. You went in asking why and came out answering your own question using ignorant reasoning and irrational perspectives. Not to mention your motivational speech happens to have no actual background knowledge, credible research on the subject, or personal experience in its foundation and therefore is extremely irrelevant and useless to the people you are trying to reason with.
I also have bipolar disorder and the brain of someone with bipolar disorder don't work the same way the brain of someone without bipolar disorder would. People with bipolar disorder do not get enough or too much of norepinephrine, serotonin and dopamine in our system. These mono amine neurotransmitters are believed to regulate people's moods and because of this we can either suffer from depression, mania or in some cases both. It is something we can simply say to ourselves "will get better". Its something that is literally uncontrollable without the help of medications used to stabilize these neurotransmitter problems. This is a chemical imbalance and not something pure willpower alone can change. It takes a lot of effort and dedicated time to go through the therapy and medications to stabilize the chemical imbalances that cause the depression that leads to suicidal thoughts, not to mention the money and resources. It's extremely draining and nothing short of easy. No to mention not everyone had these things available to them so they may never get as much help as they need, making things ten times as difficult for them.
Next time you want to know why, actually ask. Don't go on a motivational rant and completely lose the point you were trying to make. I understand that your intentions were positive, but before you state your opinion about anything, make sure that it's a thoroughly researched and educated point of view. Try understanding what these people go through by actually sitting down and talking with them, and do some actual research on cited and credible sources such as webMD on the subject of emotional and mental disorders before you state an opinion like that. Judging from your post you lack the knowledge and understanding of the situation you're addressing, and no matter what you're talking about it its good to know you have all the facts before saying something about it.
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Posted: Sun Oct 23, 2011 2:57 pm
I understand you're trying to be kind and such, but depression isn't just something You can say "i think I'll be happy now" and walk away from. Just try and remember the last time you cried and imagine feeling that... Lost, maybe? Helpless? Then imagine feeling that way all the time. It has to get difficult. I've never actually been depressed so that's just what I would assume it's like. Assuming things leads to misconception and that's what happened to you. At least try to take this as an opportunity to learn from mistakes. Next time you won't assume so much.
There are reasons depression and other diseases like it are considered diseases. There are reasons people need medicine to become healthy again. Next time make sure you have all the information, make one simple mistake and you will be bashed like here. I think that you do have potential to be a really great inspirational speaker.
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