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Deus Orientation RP: We Are Legion

Shower. It had been the only thing on Madison's mind as she stumbled back to the dormitories. She felt bruised, phantom aches still digging stubbornly at her bones even though they'd already been informed of their non-existence; her hair was stuck to the back of her neck, perspiration serving as glue enough, not needing the blood and acid that her mind had conjured up. She was sweaty, achy, and foul, and she was tired of it.

There had been a small metal carry-basket of toiletries in her room, along with a towel and washcloth; she'd scooped them up without a second thought and headed for the communal bathrooms, picking out a stall and whisking the curtain around it before shucking off her clothes. They stank of sweat now, and several seams had torn; fashionable clothes for school simply weren't up to the task of being a Hunter.

Being a Hunter.

Madison flinched as the hot water hit her shoulders, but she stayed in place, gritting her teeth and letting the heat just-barely-not scald her skin. The water turned grayish for a moment as it sluiced through her hair and down her back, carrying God only knew how many days of grime and stink away.

Her manicure was entirely ruined - what few acrylic nails remained were ragged and cracking. She pulled them away carefully, making a face and tossing each nail to the side in an untidy pile. Her natural nails underneath looked naked and strange. How long had it been since she'd last had her nails completely natural? She couldn't remember. She'd have to make an appointment at the salon-

... No. She couldn't do that, could she.

Madison mechanically reached for the shampoo - whoever had put together the basket of toiletries had not asked, known, or cared about her preferences. The products were simple, unlabeled, utilitarian. The all-in-one shampoo felt wrong in her hands, the smell of it spartan and businesslike, with not a breath of her favorite strawberry scent to be found. She rubbed it through her hair and bit her lip, trying not to cry. Because crying over shampoo was stupid, and shallow, and she wasn't going to do that...

She pressed her eyes closed as she reached for the soap, biting her lip so fiercely that she felt a stab of pain, the coppery hot taste of blood on her tongue... and that tore it. The soap hit the floor with a thud and a splash as Madison stumbled blindly backwards, pressing against the tiled wall, leaning forward to bury her face in her hands.

It wasn't right. It would never be right. Because she'd come here, so many things - so many little things she'd taken for granted - would never be the same again. Almost nothing she'd thought she loved would be available to her. No mall. No shopping. No Starbucks, no texting her friends. No friends... no senior year. No prom date. No family...

No nothing.

God, she was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid-

Her shoulder shook as she wept, choking the sobs back as best she could to avoid making a scene. There were other people in here, and she would not be weak in front of them. She had to be strong, to bury her regret and her fear just as she'd buried her knowledge of shadows and darkness. She'd done it before. She could do it again...

... but she didn't want to.

Slowly, Madison slipped downward, ending up sitting under the shower, hugging her knees as the warm water beat against her back. The sight of her brightly-painted toenails, somehow still immaculate despite everything she'd been through, made her stomach twist.

She'd spent all her life trying to be normal. It hadn't worked - she'd never stopped seeing shadows, no matter how 'normal' she tried to be. It had all been a failure, and she'd shut herself out of so much. So much. When she hadn't known who she was, she had found herself wanting, been vaguely disgusted by the impulses that long habit had trained into her. Alpha Two of Phoenix Squad had been on the road to being... to being real, with a few things to unlearn and no knowledge of the depths of her failure.

Until she discovered she was Madison McKenzie.

She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against her knees. Everything she'd thought was real - or that had a chance of being real - had been taken away from her.... no. Not taken away. She'd given it away in a moment of... what? Weakness? Courage? Intelligence? Stupidity? It all blurred together.

Madison took a deep, shaky breath. From now on... from now on she was going to be real. She was going to find out who she was. Who she really was, not who she thought had to be to be 'normal'. Madison McKenzie, girl who sees things in the shadows, girl who had a monster in her closet.

A Hunter.

She'd been chosen, hadn't she? A smile spread across her face, though there was little joy in the expression. Chosen. Not a failure. Not yet. It wasn't predetermined.

She was still alive, after all.

Evaluation Results: The Box

-----------------Weapon Initiation: Coils of the Serpent

Madison closed the door to her dorm behind her and leaned back against it, only to flinch forward as the unfamiliar swords clunked against the door as well. But no protest came from the new presence in her mind, and after a moment she relaxed once more. "So. That's... that's it, huh? You're still here? Not a dream?"

We are not. You already know monsters are real; why does your mind struggle to comprehend us?

"Because I've never had a monster in my head before," she sighed, sitting down with a thump.

Assuredly, you have, Kouki replied, and Madison shivered. But never again. We are a possessive creature. You are ours now.

Madison shook her head and slumped forward. Kouki sounded so certain, so authoritative, but all she felt was tired. The weird euphoria she'd experienced earlier had faded into exhaustion; she could feel Kouki still shifting, still settling into her mind and making himself comfortable there... and that was making her nervous, because this was all real. Even now, as new as their bond was, she felt that pulling Kouki out of her consciousness would be like cutting off a limb.

And that made her nervous too.

Madison looked up and met her own gaze in the mirror across the room. She looked tired and scraggly, at least by her own standards; the sword-belt was slung awkwardly around her waist, and the scabbards themselves poked out around her at odd angles. She shifted, trying to get more comfortable, and one of the hilts prodded her painfully in the ribs.

You are... afraid?

There was a faint undercurrent of anxiety in the weapon's words, and a surprising flicker of vulnerability. Madison sighed. "I... I'm not used to this. To... to you, I guess. A..." She was going to say week or perhaps month, but who knew how long she'd slept in that damned pod, dreaming of being squashed? "... A while ago, I was just going to high school, y'know? And now I'm here, and you're in my head, and I don't know what the <********> I'm doing, Cookie."

He didn't correct her that time. There is potential in you; else you would not have been brought to this place, and we would not have chosen you. We felt that in the cave. It has been so long...

"How long?" Maybe he didn't know, either. Like her.

We have... There was a long pause. Served many noble Hunters, standing against the abominations we once were. Being thus bound, inhabiting these glorious bodies of steel, is preferable to bearing mere scales. We do not regret, he said, and yet something in his mental tone belied those final words.

"Were you lonely?"

We were, he replied, after a moment. We yearned to feel the touch of human fingers on our hilts, to be bound into a human mind. These things are the truest desire of the faithful. It is what we were transformed to do, to be. Yet not just any mind will do. We choose. We chose.

"Transformed." She closed her eyes, remembering the phantom touch of scales. "You were... some kind of snake, right?" From snake to weapon; from human to Hunter. Could something that saw monsters, that had a monster in her head, even be considered properly human any more?

A four-branched serpent, yes. Something pressed tentatively at the edge of her mind - the image of a huge snake, its body split into four necks each topped with a yellow-eyed head. Tsumata-no-orochi, of most noble lineage. Perhaps you have heard of the great Yamata-no-Orochi? I am told his greatness is renowned even in the Human World.

"I... no, sorry," she mumbled; she felt Kouki's eagerness deflate slightly. "I don't know about snakes or swords or Japan or whatever, that anime junk? The sharpest thing I've ever used is like, a nail file. Or a kitchen knife, or something. When I fight, I pull hair and diss boyfriends and stupid crap like that, y'know? I'm not used to this stuff."

Then it is good you are under our tutelage, Kouki said, a hint of pride trickling into his mental voice. We are most experienced, very gifted. No doubt your superiors will rejoice to see our bond, and know that under our care you will soon blossom into an expert swordswoman and Hunter.

"You think so?" It came out more frustrated than she'd meant it to. "All I did during the test was... was die. I died, and that was it!"

You did more than that, Kouki said, firmly. You are bound to others, not to us alone; we feel those bonds in our mind, how they sing with bright trust. You spoke to one earlier, did you not?

Madison heaved a sigh. "I... I guess, I don't know. We're just a bunch of people who saved each other, kinda... but not really. There's Ennea, you met her, and there's Jordan and Robert and Petra and Jerry and... and I don't know the names of the others. I guess they're... sleeping right now." She hoped they were sleeping, at least, and not dead. "But I was different then. I didn't remember who I was."

And in so doing, you discovered who you are. Kouki chuckled, not unkindly. Don't be afraid, human child. We, too, did not discover our true strength until after we came here.

Full, glowing confidence had returned to Kouki's voice, but Madison shook her head. "I don't feel strong. I feel... kinda stupid, honestly."

You are strong now, and you shall be moreso. We will be exquisite together; a truly glorious partnership; nothing will stand against us. We shall learn together. This is a place of transformation, is it not?

"I... I guess so," she said, with a faint smile. "You like this better? Being a sword? ...Being with me?"

There is no comparison. The words were spoken with immediate, ringing conviction. It is not the life we had imagined for ourselves, no - but it is better, and it is ours. As are you.

"Better." Madison tasted the word as if saying it for the first time. How much of her old life did she really, truly miss? Her family, yes, but other than that... the life she had once imagined for herself seemed so small. So... high school. "Yeah. I guess... I can believe that."

It is well.

As she got to her feet, she looked at herself in the mirror once more. Nothing had changed in her appearance, not really, and yet she didn't look quite as out of place as she had only a few minutes ago. She had Kouki now; they couldn't throw her out. For good, or ill, she was a Hunter in truth - and she wasn't alone.

She would never truly be alone again.

Let's Get Down to Business

If At First You Don't Succeed...