Profile Acceptance Forum 2.0

[Cobra_X]

Oniwa Kye

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Character Info
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Main Info

Character Name: Oniwa Kye (Oh-knee-wa Ka-eye-e)
Nicknames: Iron Fist
Title(s): None
Rank: Otokage
Village: Otogakure

Background Info

Physical Description

Age: 27
Sex: Female
Hair Color: Black with strands of white
Natural Eye Color: Amber
Body Type: Athletic
Distinguishing Features: ...is missing her Left Arm.

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Bloodline, Clan, or Demon
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Main Info

Bloodline, Clan, or Demon: Satetsu (Iron Sand) ...[Clan Head]
Bloodline/Clan Stage: Stage 2
Abilities of the Bloodline/Clan:

1. Can easily control large amounts Metal Dust at will
2. The Metal Dust is very Durable, Fast, and Precise in it's movements.
3. Can control metal such as Shuriken, Kunai, and even smaller swords. (Nothing as large as a Fuuma Shuriken though.)
4. Fire is capable of melting the Metal Sand. (The Katon jutsu used must match the rank of the Iron Sand technique used.)
5. Cannot control Metal within the human body.
6. To get more Metal Dust from the earth, you must send a large amount of metal Sand to get it. It takes at least one post to reach the metal deep in the earth.


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Shinobi Profession and Shinobi Types
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Shinobi Profession

Shinobi Profession: Taijutsu Specialist
Profession Base Benefit: Strong Bodied (Physical Strength +1 rank)
Learning Information: -2 posts for Taijutsu, +1 for Weaponstyles, +2 for Ninjutsu/Genjutsu
Weakness: Weak Genjutsu

Rank Benefits

Genin
Bird Watching - Jump height increased dramatically, allowing them to dodge attacks much more easily. (Can jump roughly 15 feet in the air, increases by 5 for every rank after --> Kage = 35 ft.)

Chuunin
Improved Reflexes - Can read movements as if the Taijutsu Specialist had a 1 tomoe sharingan, or the Ushio clan reaction speed; does not increase the effectiveness of the sharingan or ushio clan reaction speed.

Jounin
Tough Bodied - Offensive ninjutsus 3 ranks or lower than the Taijutsu Specialist cause no harm to the them, offensive ninjutsus 1 rank or lower are half as effective against the Taijutsu Specialist.)

Shinobi Type(s)

Speed Ninja: (Move, dodge, and attack speed is one rank higher, hard for anyone below Jounnin to even track these ninja)

Combo User: (Can use 2 jutsu per post, at Jounin can use 3 jutsu per post)

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Chakra and Jutsu
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Chakra Information

Chakra Level: High, +5/10

Chakra Point Total: 180

Chakra Color: Dark Forest Green, similar to the robes she wears.

Chakra Control: N/A

Elemental Affinities: Doton, Raiton, Ototon

Jutsu Information

Ninjutsu/Genjutsu

(Unless otherwise specified, all jutsu listed were auto-ranked on character creation)

Universal Ninjutsu

• [E] - Henge No Jutsu (Transformation Technique)
• [E] - Kawarimi No Jutsu (Body Switch Technique)
• [D] - Kinobori no Jutsu (Tree Walking Technique)/Kabenobori no Jutsu (Wall Walking Technique)
• [C] - Suimen Hokou no Gyou (The Art of Water Walking)
• [A] - Tenkuu Hokou no Gyou (The Art of Walking on Air)
• [A] - Kage Bunshin No Jutsu (Shadow Clone Technique)
• - Bakuretsu Kage Bunshin No Jutsu (Exploding Shadow Clone Technique)


Universal Genjutsu

• [E] - Bunshin no Jutsu
• [C] - Kai (Release)


Raiton - Lightning Release

Rank E - (Basic) - ( Jutsu Descriptions)

• Raikou Bunshin no Jutsu (Lightning Clone Technique)
• Yurayura Ranpu no Jutsu (Flickering Light Technique)
• Seiteki Suji no Jutsu (Static Strings Technique)
• Teikou no Kuntou (Electricity Resistance Training)

Rank D - (Genin) - ( Jutsu Descriptions)

• Raikou Boruto no Jutsu (Lightning Bolt Technique)
• Denshi no Jutsu (Electron Technique)
• Nagare Isou no Jutsu (Current Transfer Skill)
• Heki no Jutsu (Burst Technique)
• Raikou Henge no Jutsu (Lightning Transformation Technique)
• Kumo Keba no Jutsu (Cloud Wisp Technique)
• Seiteki Chikara no Jutsu (Static Force)
• Raikou Jishaku no Jutsu (Lightning Magnet)

Rank C - (Chuunin) - ( Jutsu Descriptions)

• Denki Hifu no Jutsu (Electric Skin Technique)
• Raikou Hitofuki no Jutsu (Lightning Blast Technique)
• Raikou Yaiba no Jutsu (Lightning Blade Technique)
• Dendou Hari Hirogari no Jutsu (Electric Needle Spread Technique)
• Dendou Bakuhatsu no Jutsu (Electric Detonation Technique)
• Kumo Tate no Jutsu (Cloud Shield Technique)
• Dendou Kariyou no Jutsu (Electric Overdose Technique)
• Hikuhiku Eda no Jutsu (Twitching Limb Technique)
• Yusuburu Kasugai no Jutsu (Jolt Clamp)
• Raikou Shunshin no Jutsu (Lightning Instantaneous Body Technique)
• Kanri Soushitsu no Jutsu (Control Loss Technique)

Rank B - (Special Jounin) - ( Jutsu Descriptions)

• Raikou Kousen no Jutsu (Lightning Beam Technique)

Rank A - (Jounin) - ( Jutsu Descriptions)

• Inbikiri Seeji no Jutsu (Lightning Sage Technique)
• Chidori (Thousand Birds)
• Chidori Nagashi(One Thousand Birds Current)
• Rensa Raikou no Jutsu (Chain Lightning Technique)
• Jiten Rakou Dangan (Spinning Lightning Shot)
• Junsei Raikou Kunai no Jutsu (Pure Lightning Kunai Technique)
• Yobigoe no Raikou no Jutsu (Call of Lightning Technique)
• Kyuutai Tate no Jutsu (Sphere Shield Technique)
• Sai Sen no Jutsu (Rewire Technique)
• Dendou Enmu no Jutsu (Electric Fog Technique)
• Inbikiri Ekido no Jutsu (Lightning Rage Technique)
• Dendou Kaitengi no Jutsu (Electric Gyroscope Technique)
• Shinkou Arashi no Jutsu (Rising Storm Technique)
• Dendou Hebi no Jutsu (Electric Snake Technique)

Rank S - (Sannin/Kage) - ( Jutsu Descriptions)

• Kouseitan Kawa (Element Skin)
• Rairyu Rendan no Jutsu (Lightning Dragon Attack)
• Raiton: Ryouken (Lightning Hound)
• Kouten no Saiketsu (Heaven's Judgement)
• Shina no Kourin (The Descent of Shina)
• Raiden no Moui (Raiden's Fury)
• Hando no Semeku (Hands of Torture)
• Shina's Touch
• Sigh of the Yellow Dragon
• Limelight


Doton - Earth Release

Rank E - (Basic) - ( Jutsu Descriptions)

• Tsuchi Gunjikoudou no Jutsu (Earth Military Movement Technique)
• Bunshin no Jutsu (Earth Clone Skill)
• Koujin Bunshin no Jutsu (Dust Clone Technique)

Rank D - (Genin) - ( Jutsu Descriptions)

• Kajuu No Doro (Mud Weights)
• Tsuka no Tsuchi Souzou (Earth Mound Creation)
• Jihibiki Kansei no Jutsu (Earth Tremor Sense Technique)

Rank C - (Chuunin) - ( Jutsu Descriptions)

• Doryu Taiga (Mud River)
• Doryuudan no Jutsu (Earth Dragon Blast)
• Doryu Heki (Mud Slide Barrier)
• Bakuyaku Iwa Kawarimi (Explosive Stone Body Replacement)

Rank B - (Special Jounin) - ( Jutsu Descriptions)

• Sekkai Saka (Rock Hill Creation)
• Rikujou Shougekiha no jutsu (Ground shockwave technique)

Rank A - (Jounin) - ( Jutsu Descriptions)

• Shindoryuudan no Jutsu (Earth Dragon God Blast)
• Sekkai Bunshin no Jutsu (Rock Clone Technique)
• Dosekiryuu no Jutsu (Rock Avalanche Technique)
• Bouseki Take (Spinning Peak)

Rank S - (Sannin/Kage) - ( Jutsu Descriptions)

• Tsuchi Tsunami no Jutsu (Earth Giant Wave Technique)
• Iwa Finaru (Rock finale)


Ototon - Sound Release

Rank E - (Basic) - ( Jutsu Descriptions)

• Yobiko (Whistle)

Rank D - (Genin) - ( Jutsu Descriptions)

• Kinsei Hakai (Balance Destroy)
• Kaze Senbon no Jutsu (Wind Needles Technique)

Rank C - (Chuunin) - ( Jutsu Descriptions)

• Kyoumeisen (Vibrating Sound Drill)
• Himei no Jutsu (Shriek)


Bloodline/Clan Jutsus

Satetsu - Iron Sand

Rank D - (Genin) - ( Jutsu Descriptions)

• Bihin Ejin Giryou (Equipment Conversion Technique)

Rank C - (Chuunin) - ( Jutsu Descriptions)

• Satetsu Kesshuu (Iron Sand Joint Attacks)
• Hagane Dama (Steel Bullet)
• Hagane Bunshin no Jutsu (Steel Clone Technique)
• Satetsu Irekawari (Iron Sand Substitution)

Rank B - (Special Jounin) - ( Jutsu Descriptions)

• Hagane Ame no Jutsu (Steel Rain Technique)
• Satetsu Shigure (Iron Sand Autumnal Showers)
• Satetsu Kaihou (Iron Sand World Method)
• Satetsu Shouheki (Iron Sand Barrier)
• Satetsu Yoroi (Iron Sand Armor)

Rank A - (Jounin) - ( Jutsu Descriptions)

• Kurogane Chiri Bakugou (Iron Dust Detonation)
• Tekkoudan (Armor Piercing Ammunition)
• Haganeryuu Rendan (Steel Dragon Barrage)

Rank S - (Sannin/Kage) - ( Jutsu Descriptions)

• Erai Gyokushou Kane Kame (Great King Metal Turtle)


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Taijutsu/Weapon Styles
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Daidoumyaku – Great Pulse Fist - Primary Style
By using chakra to concentrate energy within their hands the user of this taijutsu can transfer the energy from their hand into their target, creating violent vibrations. This involves a slight bit of chakra control, but this is not the focus of the style. Instead the focus is on speed in movement and striking, which helps to create stable sound waves. These vibrations can damage soft tissue of internal organs but the primary function of this style is to damage bones and create numbness in nerves.

Current stage: Stage 7 (Mastered)

Maneuvers:

Palm Strikes – At this level, the user of this style achieves a frightening level of power. Here, a direct blow from an attack will not only result in broken bones, but brutal, crushing blows. Often is the time when the limb of a shinobi struck by one of these blows is rendered limp and useless; a victim of compound fractures as well as chipped fragments of bone caused by the vibrations of the user’s palm. Furthermore, the tissue damage caused at this stage is intensive, as the blows now strikes harder and deeper than ever before, rending and bruising muscle tissue with an almost unspeakable ferocity, a fact that further adds to the sheer devastation of each landed strike.

Kicks- The kicks of a user at this level are now at their peak, capable of inflicting severe damage to any part of the target’s body at unprecedented speeds. Furthermore, the airwaves created by the kick now create messy gashes, painful bleeding wounds, and devastating burns to the flesh of the target. The wounds caused by this tend to cause excruciating pain to the victim, and thus tend to hamper the combat ability of the afflicted greatly.

Defense- The user has learned to block attacks purely by instinct and react to them almost before they are launched. Unless an attacker is careful, the results of their attack could leave them worse off than their opponent as the user can now inflict severe injury just by blocking. Without the aid of some type of jutsu technique, throwing weapons are virtually useless against the user now and can be turned aside in almost unlimited numbers.

Special Techniques:

• [E] - Hakike no Tsuki (Nausea Thrust)
• [D] - Daidoumyaku – Mimi Senshi (Ear Stab)
• [C] - Daidoumyaku – Saidan Assaiki (Altar Crusher)
• [C] - Daidoumyaku – Ibukuro Gusarito (Stomach Thrust)
• [A] - Daidoumyaku – Juushin Tomosen (Brutal Heart Stopper)
• [A] - Daidoumyaku – Parusuha Saiganki (Pulse Rock Crusher)
• - Daidoumyaku – Manako Oshi (Eye Push)


Ishi no Karada Taijutsu (Stone Body taijutsu) - Secondary Style
A taijutsu style as old and timeless as the mountains themselves, it is unknown exactly how the Ishi no Karada came into existence. It is a style that has been passed down generation by generation in various dojos of Earth Country. When Iwagakure was created, it was only natural that the shinobi there would use the most popular fighting style in the Earth Country. Through the use of chakra, it was greatly enhanced into the mighty form of taijutsu that it is today.

Current stage: Stage 7 (Mastered)

Maneuvers:

• [E] - Tsuruhashihijishou (Pickaxe Elbow)
• [E] - Shoushitsu (Rising Knee)
• [E] - Hourakushou (Cave-in Palm)
• [D] - Hasai Houyou (Crushing hug)
• [D] - Kannyuu Tanima (Collapsing Valley)
• [D] - Axe Kick
• [D] - Mountain Rising
• [D] - Double Rock Swing
• [C] - Shougekishou (Rising Impact Palm)
• [C] - Tokken (Tackle Charge)
• [C] - Yamayagi Mozou (Mountain Goat Mimic)
• [C] - Elbow Smash
• [C] - Stone Floor Sweep
• [C] - Steady Mountain Palm
• [A] - Gangeki (Boulder Strike)
• [A] - Hanmahirushou (Sledgehammer Heel Impact)
• [A] - Hishoumaruishi (Flying Boulder)
• - Kiretsu Kire (Fissure Chop)
• - Bone Crusher
• - Sky High Avalanche


Special Techniques:

• [D] - Gurabo (Stone Gloves)
• [D] - Kuma Kobushi (Bear Fist)
• [D] - Doryu Dango (Mud Cannonball)
• [D] - Jishin Ken (Earthquake Fist)
• [C] - Banjin Houru (Savage Throw)
• [C] - Jagged Dust
• [C] - Savage Downward Crash
• [C] - Rising Earth Pillar
• [A] - Saido Nadare (Second Avalanche)
• [A] - Gansaku Shindou (False Tremor
• - Futae no Kiwami (Mastery of the Two Layers)
• - Ishi Suji (Stone Muscle)


Shunko (Flash Cry) - Third Style
Created within the walls of Iwagakure by the former Tsuchikage, Jade Uchiha herself, this advanced form of Taijutsu combines hand-to-hand combat and materialized chakra energy to explosively increase a Shinobi's offensive capabilities. when utilizing the techniques, high-pressured chakra surges throughout the user's body, enhancing their arms and legs for battle as well as granting them special forms of movement around the battlefield. The chakra itself can also be controlled and fired at opponents from the body at later stages.

Current stage: Stage IV (Jounin level)

Maneuvers:

• [E] - Fall Break: Can emit chakra from the body to soften the landing from a fall.
• [E] - Wall Climb: Can now use chakra to propel themselves up a vertical object.
• [D] - Shunko Slide: Can alternate chakra in the feet, allowing them to slide a short distance across the ground for a much easier transgression from offense to defense, or to evade attacks.
• [C] - Double Jump: At the apex of their first jump, the user can jump again.
• [A] - Flash Step (I): User can instantly transport themselves a short distance in battle.

Special Techniques:

• [E] - Minor Shunko: Can focus chakra to fingertips/toes to increase punching/kicking power.
• [D] - Hand/Foot Shunko: Can now engulf the entire hand/foot in chakra to make punches/kicks much stronger.
• [C] - Double Hand/Foot Shunko: Can now engulf both hands/feet in chakra to pack a much stronger attack then with just one limb
• [C] - Shunko Arms: Both arms can now be engulfed in chakra, enabling the lifting of large and bulky objects which can then be thrown a good distance
• [B.] - Shunko Legs: Both legs can now be engulfed in chakra, enabling the user to run at speeds up to 3 times faster then normal.


Ansatsuken: Assassination Fist - Fourth Style
The Ansatsuken is Taijutsu Style born from the intention to kill an opponent, whether it be by firing chakra blasts from your palm, or just beating them to a pulp. The crux of this style revolves around combos, with one attack leading directly into another. Practitioners of this art follow the code of a warrior, meaning that all fights against a stronger opponent are fought to the death. If the opponent is weaker however, it may be used simply to gauge their ability, using the high pressure techniques as a test of worthiness.

Current stage: Stage 3 (Ken Style)

Special Techniques:

• [D] - Hadouken (Surge Fist)
• [D] - Shou'oken (Little Dragon Fist)
• [D] - Shunpuu Kyaku (Twirling Gale Kick)
• [C] - Shinkuu Hadouken (Vacuum Surge Fist)
• [C] - Shoryuken (Rising Dragon Fist)
• [C] - Shoryu Reppa (Rising Dragon Rending Destruction)
• [C] - Shinryuken (Divine Dragon Fist)
• [C] - Tatsumaki Senpukyaku (Tornado Whirlwind Kick)
• [C] - Shippu Jinraikyaku (Gale Thunderclap Kick)
• [C] - Guren Senpukyaku (Crimson Whirlwind Kick)


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Equipment
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Weapons

Type of Weapon:
Name of Weapon: (name of your weapon if applicable; if it's a custom weapon link the name to the description of the weapon)
Base Range:(The effective range of the weapon without utilizing any jutsus or special abilities)

Shinobi Tools

Kunai: 10
Shuriken: 20
Makibishi: 0
Light bomb: 5
Smoke bomb: 5
Exploding Tags: 10
Steel wire: 5 strands of 50 feet each.

Apparel

Head-Band Style: Standard
Head-Band Location: Hangs off of the loose fabric where her left arm would be.
Head-Band Color:Black
 

[Cobra_X]

Personally, I find it unacceptable that people would be told NOT to resubmit their profiles when there was just a big Time Skip which by Lance's word is REQUIRING us to do so.

...As such, I will begin grading these profiles. I will point things out to people and I will expect them to be made AS EDITS TO THEIR CURRENT PROFILES.

GREGAR AND LANCE HAVE FINAL SAY. They have the right to repeal anything I say. I'm only doing this to relieve Gregar's burden and move things along.

(@Gregar/Lance: I'm not trying to step on toes here, I'm just trying to ease the burden. You guys know that I know what I'm doing, so I hope you don't mind.)
 

[Cobra_X]

{{Please make all corrections within the current profile posted to avoid an over-cluttering/confusion of profiles. I will be constantly updating THIS post with people as I get to them through the day.}}

{{When you have made your edits, please post a whispered comment letting me know the edits have been made and PM me so I know to come back and look at it.}}

Lance - Kaizen's Profile

- Background Info could use an update to current time.
- Your "Weakness" is unfair imo. I would consider this to be Power-gaming. As the Gobi host, you can already learn from all schools of jutsu. Unless you are willing to take a hit and not learn one of the schools, or have access to it at all... I would say you HAVE to choose another Weakness. (I dont like that the only disadvantage in your character taking that weakness is that you can only learn jutsu of the weakened element up to your rank... that's not even a real weakness for you.)
- All of your profession Rank benefits lack description.
- Is there any rule that states that your demon Chakra control bonus stacks with your Ninja Type?
- You may want to remove extraneous part of the application which don't relate to you (like the Bloodline jutsu section)
- For your customs, I know they are linked, but some description of their location on yuor person and what their general abilities are would be nice to see on the profile itself.


Panthers - Zin's Profile

- Your Rank is Chuunin
- Ninjutsu Specialist is listed under Clan abilities, but you need to describe what this gives you
- Fewer Elements requires a description?... but also the facts stated are mentioned for a Weapon's Specialist. The wording should be changed to indicate Taijutsu Specialist.
- Same as above goes for Genin rank benefit: Warrior's rush.
- Are you the Naga Clan head?... that is the only way you would get HIGH chakra.
- Chakra Control is not a (Low/Medium/High) thing... its jsut a compilation of all chakra control bonuses... if you have any. (If not, enter 'N/A')
- Your elementl affinities section is a little wonked out with formatting. (Elelmental affinity seems to be larger text and the color text is off.
- Please indicate which, if any of your Jutsu or taijutsu styles were Auto-learned by merit of the Time Skip. (Lance suggests a triple asterisk ***... I just note it in parentheses )
- Taijutsu formatting section off by a little... not sure why that "[Align center]" is there.
- Your Demon Gate opening is not listed... it just looks like the official Konoha version (which yours is certainly different)
- Further description of Amaterasu's abilities and it's location on your person would be helpful to see on the profile.
- Do you really carry NO equipment at all?... not a single Kunai/Shuriken/Etc...?


Stormold - Sevvyn's Profile

- Shinobi profession Weakness: Please link description of the weakness' effects.
- Your Chakra Level = High, +20/10
- Total Chakra Points = 65
- Chakra Control should be -1 for all genin techniques, -2 for Chuunin and above.
- Genjutsu First Elelment: Typo- You wrote 'Wing' instead of 'Wind'
- You may want to list the Maneuvers/special Abilities of your Sword Style.
- Is your weapon just a regular Katana?


Allegra - Koizumi's Profile

- Confessor Clan abilities could be a little more complete. Is that really the only thing they do?... they are able to tell if someone is lying?
- Chakra Control is not a (Low/Medium/High) thing... its sjut a place for you to put any chakra control modifiers or bonuses you get. (if you have none, just put 'N/A')
- Your Chakra Point total is not listed. (Yours should be 180)
- I can see that you haven't noted any recent jutsu as being gained in the Time Skip. Are you eligible for any auto-learned techniques?... if so, I would encourage you to use them.
- For your weapon, a description of where it is kept on your person and some of the weapon's abilities would be nice to see on the profile.
- Your number of Kunai is a little high... maybe bump down to 20?


Hinote - David's Profile

- If you would care to, your background could use some updating.
- Elemental Control does not give you any Chakra Control bonuses. You seemed to list the "Chakra Control" Shinobi type bonuses. This is incorrect.
- It doesn't look like you took any Auto-learned techniques by merit of the Time Skip. I would encourage you to look at those posted rules and do so.
- I know for a fact you have a weapon and that its a Custom Weapon. It should be linked and properly described within your profile.
- I would also recommend making reference SOMEWHERE on your profile as to the presence of your sand weights AND your Gourd.


Snuff the Muffin - Elizabeth's Profile

- Your Bloodline Abilities/Description could use some more detail. there is a lot more to that bloodline then what you listed.
- Shinobi Profession Weakness - You have two listed... you only need to take one.
- Your Chakra Point Total = 18 (When you reach Genin however, it will become 38.)
- # of Kunai is a little high, bump it down to 20.