Solo
She wanted THAT. That thing. That thing he’d seen so many times. He’d been to it enough times he knew how it went. When you said they prayers. When you stood and sat. When you could look at the bride and pretend she was really happy. When you looked at the groom and pretended you didn’t know his past history. When the children in the front all had the same parents. Different parents. When the children didn’t have any parents. Not really. Marcus knew how it went. People got excited. They boasted and said everything would be okay. They would lie to each other about the screams. The marks on their skin, on the walls. Pretty dressed up lies, just because they wanted to be brides.
Cass wanted to marry him, and all Marcus could play over and over in his head were those happy endings. Those fairytales where the princess and prince got married and everything was sunshine buttercups and daisies. But he never believed that. It happened fast or slow but it happened. Words first usually. Followed by threats, followed by violence. A cycle he’d see play out. One he never wanted to be a part of. He never wanted to have. He didn’t want to get married. Marriages ended bitterly, tearing families apart. Leaving people broken and shattered. Sometimes they would try to cling on but it was always the same. In the end, divorce. Jail. Separation. Cheating. Lying. Beating. It didn’t matter how it happened all the time but it happened. All marriages were doomed to fail. That was just how they worked. That was how they always worked.
Nothing ever ended up happy with marriages. Hell, at least he and Cass wouldn’t have to worry about ******** up some poor kid’s life. They wouldn’t be able to have kids. So much for that supposed marital bliss. So much for that option in their future. Happy marriages didn’t exist. They just didn’t in Marcus’s world. He’d known everything but a happy marriage. Cass had known what amounted to abuse. He’d known what amounted to neglect, abandonment. How would they make it work? They worked well as a couple but that would change with a ring. Relationships always did. He didn’t want to lose her. He didn’t want that happy ending turning into something terrible. He didn’t want everything he’d grown up with. He wanted it. He wanted that fairytale ending.
They could expect to live to what? Maybe 30? If they were lucky? They would probably die violently, separate. One after the other. Or they would watch each other die. That was a bit of a living nightmare for him really. To see her die and him unable to do anything. For her to die in his arms. Cass dying terrified him more than the idea of him getting killed. He could face death, just not her death.
Thumbing over the finger she’d drawn the ring on, Marcus thought about all those failures. Those unhappy endings. Could he give Cass what she wanted? Could he really do it? Marcus boiled over the possibilities. Aside from getting killed… They would never be able to have kids. Part of him wanted that. It wanted to have that idealistic house with a white picket fence, a wife and 2 children of his own. He’d given that up by becoming a hunter. He was legally dead. Not to mention… what would his kids be like? Would they be born like him? Able to see what no one else could? Would they suffer for it? He couldn’t have that happen, he couldn’t bring a life knowing that. Even so, Cass couldn’t – it hurt knowing that. Knowing that the option was not even an option. He’d never see what Cass and his kids would look like. He’d never be able to give that to her no matter how hard they tired.
They’d sacrificed so much, could he ask her for more? Her freedom? Her name? The rest of her life… tied to his? She wanted it. She’d asked for it, hinted for it. But now here we was, after the promise, wondering if he’d made a fool’s mistake. He loved her. He loved her to the point he wanted to be able to give her a house. A home. A family. He wanted to be able to support her and love her and grow old with her and-
It scared him.
It scared him because he knew it was impossible.
It scared him because even if impossible he wanted to marry her.
His hands shook as he ran them through his hair. He wasn’t sure how much it would cost. Was there a chapel? A priest on the island? Could they portal over to Vegas? Would she hate a Vegas wedding, even if it was all they could afford? Could he afford a ring? Jesus Christ they hardly got anything in pay, would they be able to have guests? Rent a tux? Get her a Dress? Invite who? Would they have a reception? Where? Here? Was it against the rules to get married? Shacking up for fun was..acceptable. So was having a relationship but… well. Others were engaged right?
Letting out a sigh Marcus ran over his options. The main building was back. He could use a day of shore leave to get a few things. Pre-emptive decisions. He’d need to find out her ring size. Easy enough. He’d need to find something that wouldn’t snag, break…get lost. He could pick up a dress catalog for her. Look into Vegas. Into other places.
To hell with the impossible. He promised her forever.
Marcus kept his promises.
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