Dirty Little Secrets [Announcement 11/8/2023| Reminder 2024]

Before I go, I've got to know:

Is that what you mean to say?	29.2%	[ 808 ]
Before I rise to my defense,	5.0%	[ 138 ]
Before I speak in hurt or fear,	5.5%	[ 152 ]
Before I build that wall of words,	4.2%	[ 117 ]
Tell me: did I really hear?	10.1%	[ 279 ]
Words are windows, or they're walls,	9.7%	[ 268 ]
They sentence us, or set us free.	6.1%	[ 169 ]
When I speak and when I hear,	3.0%	[ 82 ]
Let the love light shine through me.	27.3%	[ 757 ]
Total Votes:			[ 2770 ]

[no scheisse]

like this is why i do hate you. funny that you mention it, for no reason. people are gonna hate you when you're so unpleasant, even your kids.

im really not sorry anymore. you guys keep sucking me dry, you're trying to kill me; i owe family NOTHING.

[no scheisse]

i didnt force you to be crazy. you like being crazy. you like attention seeking.

you do this to yourself. you get what you give back. im not doing this.

[no scheisse]

shes really insane. like what did i do? i met her at the door, asked how j was, asked how it went. then i felt really really overheated and shitty, went to go take a shower. spent like an hour just trying to do some basic self care (stuff i forget or neglect because of checking on her or doing other useless s**t)

and all of a sudden, shes just SO UNCONTROLLABLY MAD, like i did something? all i can think, is that she just sits there and thinks of a million things to be angry about? because, when i last spoke to her, she wasnt angry at me at all.



and an hour later, its "you hate me, you dont care about me or anyone, you dont care about your life"

dude of course i dont, especially when you are SCREAMING AT ME ABOUT EVERYTHING WRONG THAT I AM APPARENTLY JFC

[no scheisse]

you are a toddler, a ******** infant, that i have to go console and try to guess how you feel. or else you ******** scream and cry and carry on.

how the ******** did you take care of yourself before you got married and had kids? why do you need to lean on me SO HARD? its insane. im sorry, but it takes so much out of me, that i have no words for how goddamn selfish you actually are...it hurts, it genuinely hurts, to know how meaningless i am to you..

how little i actually mean to quite literally anyone i know, has utterly depressed me. sometimes id just rather hear from no one anymore because of how disappointed i feel.

[no scheisse]

and im trying to get a job and leave you. first its "WELL YOU SAID YOU'RE GONNA GO, SO GO" and trying to kick me out so hard. and then its "dont go, you're such a ******** b***h for wanting to leave me"

i cannot do this....and then it turns to suicide threats and i cant keep doing it......like why?

what did i do to her to make her so angry

[no scheisse]

oh, trust me, i wanna leave.

trust me, when i say you are a ******** burden. you are. enjoy the truth, ********.

[no scheisse]

i wish you just........maybe theres jjust things we both shouldnt have survived, huh, mom?

maybe one of us just shouldnt ******** be here.

sometimes i think i know which one.

[no scheisse]

how can anyone even like you

[no scheisse]

welp. from the slamming and breaking of random things and the screaming, i dont feel safe. and i already didnt feel safe about the neighbor still hanging around

this place is really just not safe

[no scheisse]

...i can feel my chest wanting to do that heavy-throwing up motion where i just want to cry. why do people in my life have to just make me feel so s**t.

what did i do to people

[no scheisse]

i cant even take a shower without getting yelled at, of course i cant do anything else......how am i supposed to get myself out of this, im ******** clueless on HOW TO GET OUT

[no scheisse]

if i cant even do self care like showering or brushing my teeth or just anything, like she can....like....how do i take care of myself

she wont let me, she literally wont let me have TIME to myself or else..

[skiddy v2skiddy v2]

holy s**t I havent seen a DLS thread since like, 09
this is so nostalgic

[no scheisse]

i feel like i am people's slave or toy. to do with what they want. whether that is stfu or do something. i dont feel like my actual feelings matter. good thing i put them behind a huge wall long ago, in order to just protect what i am actually feeling and remember the things i really want.

[no scheisse]

i wish id just be dead tbh im not sure if this is any kind of normal life for an almost 29 year old.

im already stunted and id rather just be dead.