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She admitted to me her Sadistic streak, and that she sometimes has problems controlling herself; that emotionally hurting people is too easy; and I have come to realize that last february was not an admission of her feelings for me, but a grand play she was setting up to satiate her sadistic desires

I shouldn't be surprised, but I will admit I feel a little hurt that something I thought we bonded over and strengthened our friendship was little more than a game to her, that I was genuinely just a toy that she grew bored with and threw in the chest, and that everyone was right.

I hate it when they're right.

I feel the rift growing between us daily, and it may be me causing it.. and I just don't care. I can't trust her, I have no future with her, and I'm paranoid, so I'll inevitably sabotage this friendship..

c'est la vie