Nameless Wonder: 56
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Janae tried to pretend she wasn’t hurt. After all, Gojyo was after anything in a skirt. If it happened to be the little Klepto, then more power to him. She sat in her room, trying not to cry.
You don’t deserve a man…A little vicious voice in her mind told her, you are weak and broken. Janae Bareq. It fits you so well…a little blind weakling, looking for a man’s touch. You don’t deserve love, you deserve nothing.
“Shut up…” she growled, “shut up, shut up!” She wrenched off her blindfold. Turning to where she knew the mirror was. Putting her hand to the glass.
She saw nothing. Nothing but black. Her fist came back, shattering the mirror. Blood ran down her arm. She didn’t care. She stopped, feeling the blood as it dripped into a puddle on the floor.
She felt a flutter in her stomach, telling her this was bad, telling her not to hurt herself. She didn’t care…she didn’t care anymore. She felt the blood as she brushed her tears away. It streaked her eyelids, warm and sticky.
Like other things.
She shook the thoughts out of her mind, but she kept…kept feeling, feeling his hands on her. Sliding her clothes off, running over her. She shivered as she remembered, sitting down as the blood dripped still, slowly.
She remembered loving him. She had loved everything he was. Sha Gojyo had made her laugh, wiped her tears away when she had cried, had been after more than her body.
He said he didn’t care that she couldn’t see, had said that he had wanted her despite her eyes. He had said that he loved her sightless eyes.
He had lied, as all men lie. She remembered now why her mother had let men be only second-class citizens, had made sure that she had only gotten close enough to get pregnant, and then left.
She had done her duty. She could leave, then.
Janae felt her fingers run across the cuts on her hand. The blood was starting to dry and clot. She would have scars.
Good. Scars taught you not to be so stupid again.
Never again would Janae Bareq open her heart to any man. Never again would she let anyone close enough to hurt her. Never again would she let some stupid 500-year-old vision rule what she knew to be true.
She knew that Gojyo liked his women. She knew that to get attached was to have a broken heart.
Janae wouldn’t let that happen again.
sheena_or_squall Community Member 
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