The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2370 ]
I add new things.	14.7%	[ 1993 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.8%	[ 9169 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13532 ]

[Adulariah]

When writing something tragic, don't make the most out of one event and write out the ramifications from it. Instead, pile on the horrors however unrelated and random they seem! Especially if it's a sensitive topic, because rape and murder alone isn't enough!

Cue the dead parents, everyone you know dieing, being homeless and poor, looked at as a freak by society, finding a "true love", get pregnant, kid dies, true love dumps you, find another true love, get dumped again, have memory loss, find someone else. Rinse and repeat for added effect.

You should certainly follow the above example instead of writing about something akin to, say... a person getting kidnapped and being thought of as no less than an object by their captor. Don't consider the possibility of Stockholm syndrome and the psychological ******** it produces during captivity and after she is safe again. Also, don't even bat an eyelash at the possible inverse variation of Stockholm syndrome such as Lima syndrome! Because you don't need to research in order to know how the human mind operates in such serious circumstances, just throw ideas at the concept and see what sticks.

A tearjerker story isn't based on horrors that are relateable or actually possible. ✢

[Fireweed_honey]

The teenage MC, if a girl, must be totally hated by all the other girls in the school for really no reason what so ever. No matter how big the school, every teen girl other than the MC, and maybe a friend or two, but they don't count, are all part of the same mind set. It's not like big schools, or even smaller schools, have cliches that might not think that wearing black is such a crime.

[marshmallowcreampie]

Readers only care that the main characters get their happy ending. You don't need to resolve other plot threads and you don't need to address the implications that might have been brought up by certain events in the story.

[Kita-Ysabell]

Fireweed_honey

The teenage MC, if a girl, must be totally hated by all the other girls in the school for really no reason what so ever. No matter how big the school, every teen girl other than the MC, and maybe a friend or two, but they don't count, are all part of the same mind set. It's not like big schools, or even smaller schools, have cliches that might not think that wearing black is such a crime.

No, see, they don't hate her for no reason. They hate her because she's an Independent Free Spirit, because anytime someone doesn't like you in high school (or even fails to pay attention to you) it's because they're part of the faceless herd and your individuality frightens them.

[Clare_N]

When writing fanfiction, it is compulsory to pair up all the main characters. You must then act as though your chosen pairings are the only ones that matter and anyone who says anything to the contrary doesn't know what they're talking about. Bonus points if you yell at them and threaten to report them unless they start supporting your prefered pairing.

And, if the original author fails to pair the characters up the way you want, you must post a long rant about how the series is "ruined" for you. For good measure, if the canon pairing is male/female, you must call the female character a "slut" or a "Mary Sue".

[I am The Compendium]

Clare_N

When writing fanfiction, it is compulsory to pair up all the main characters. You must then act as though your chosen pairings are the only ones that matter and anyone who says anything to the contrary doesn't know what they're talking about. Bonus points if you yell at them and threaten to report them unless they start supporting your prefered pairing.

And, if the original author fails to pair the characters up the way you want, you must post a long rant about how the series is "ruined" for you. For good measure, if the canon pairing is male/female, you must call the female character a "slut" or a "Mary Sue".

Bnus points if fans/author does not use your character who is a child of the two.

[Kita-Ysabell]

Clare_N

When writing fanfiction, it is compulsory to pair up all the main characters. You must then act as though your chosen pairings are the only ones that matter and anyone who says anything to the contrary doesn't know what they're talking about. Bonus points if you yell at them and threaten to report them unless they start supporting your prefered pairing.

And, if the original author fails to pair the characters up the way you want, you must post a long rant about how the series is "ruined" for you. For good measure, if the canon pairing is male/female, you must call the female character a "slut" or a "Mary Sue".

Remember, kids, pairings are the only point of fanfiction!

[Clare_N]

Especially if you pair up two characters whose canon versions would never look at each other in "that way".

[marshmallowcreampie]

If you want your female character to be a weapon-wielding action girl while still not being intimidating or too powerful, give her a bow and arrow! Everyone knows that bows require little physical strength to use, and your female character would be able to kill people from far away so it's not as scary or questionable!

[SaraIsImportant]

Be absolutely certain that you describe your characters' physical experience in excruciating detail by having them look into a mirror and explaining what they see. You absolutely should NOT go into the same depth of description of describing their personality traits. The reader needs to be able to visualize them, not identify with them.

Make sure that your protagonist sighs. A lot. Readers love reading the word 'sigh' on every page at least once.

They absolutely must be misunderstood. Their being misunderstood means they're deep and you're an awesome writer for being able to see through how misunderstood they are. People eat that right up.

[DarknessofHeavenandDreams]

SaraIsImportant

Make sure that your protagonist sighs. A lot. Readers love reading the word 'sigh' on every other paragraph.

Fixed (and read that a lot).

[marshmallowcreampie]

SaraIsImportant

They absolutely must be misunderstood. Their being misunderstood means they're deep and you're an awesome writer for being able to see through how misunderstood they are. People eat that right up.

There is no problem that your reader will see as petty, so your hero can complain about anything s/he wants and the reader will sympathize.

[zRainDown]

Hahah lol! This looks like a fun thread razz

These are my tips to write a not so successful story:
1. L34K5P43K - Leakspeak is the key to writing a not so successful story, make sure you replace every word with a number, and shorten words whenever possible! Like this:

1 day mary sue wen 2 da zoo an she enjoy herself vry mch. She got a iceloli 4 3 at ze entriant gatte an she etc...
^(phew! That was actually difficult to write)
2. Punctuation and Grammar - Throw them out of the window! Never use proper punctuation and grammar, always make plenty of spelling mistakes!
3. Insert Author Notes everywhere. Randomly insert a paragraph long author note smack bang in the middle of the story telling everyone something completely irrelevant. Make this author note have poor spelling, leakspeak and generally give it a very B*tchy tone.

[LabTech Kestin]

If your character is constantly mouthing off to everyone (and really, why wouldn't they?), nobody should ever punish them for it. Your character is always right anyway, and it's no fun to read about Awesomia Perfectua World'saviora Coolgirl getting detention, being fired, or having trouble with the law. If someone even raises an eyebrow at her behavior, that's their problem, not hers. Otherwise it becomes a character flaw, and what's the point of having a character with flaws?

To add to that, nobody likes to see the hero fail. No matter how naive or inexperienced they are, if they decide to run into the villain's lair and challenge them one-on-one, they better damn well win, or at least escape unharmed. Only useless people need rescuing, and having your character be injured or tortured or locked in a cell just slows the story down. (It's fine if it happens to a minor character, though. How else will the readers understand who's the bad guy?)

And of course, the best way to espouse feminism in your writing is to make all the women feisty, eager to fight, and better at it than the guys. Subtract ten points for a girl doing any of the following: cooking, cleaning, being shy, being polite, being unathletic, wearing a dress (of her own free will), blushing, or caring about appearance. And if she can't beat up a man five times her size, something's seriously wrong with your vision of the world. Get with the times.

[[XblackfireX]]

LabTech Kestin

. And if she can't beat up a man five times her size, something's seriously wrong with your vision of the world. Get with the times.

Oh, and when we say that, we mean physically. If she has to use any magic or weapons or anything, she's too weak to be in the story.