The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2370 ]
I add new things.	14.7%	[ 1993 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.8%	[ 9169 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13532 ]

[Moral Gutpunch]

A genetic pool of a hundred people who live practically forever will not lead to inbreeding.

[Alberic of Krufton]

Water is easily found in small, quick-running streams regardless of where you are. Those trapped in watery environs (swamps, tributaries, near ponds, lakes, or large rivers) will never thirst.

You only die of dehydration in a desert.

You don't need all that much water a day, especially if you're always on the move.

All water is potable, because it'd be too humiliating for characters, especially your darling MCs, to get the shits from drinking out of the tap.

((Having flashbacks to Mexico...))

[Kairi Nightingale]

Any race can breed with humans. Differences in DNA, reproductive organs, or genetics don't matter. Heck, anything can breed with anything. Have a elf-centaur. Or a vampire-pheonix. Or a mermaid-fairy-elf-neko-witch-human-vampire hybrid! Because it totally makes sense to be half of several things and gain all the powers/abilities from all your ancestral races to boot. (Yes, another thing I saw in a role play, but this time on fictionpress. It was the second post. .__. )

All princesses should be tomboyish, spunky, or otherwise rebellious unless they are the antagonist, in which case they should always be spoiled brats.

Delicate, well-behaved princesses are cliche.

[Moral Gutpunch]

Kairi Nightingale

Delicate, well-behaved princess are cliche.

Politically cunning princesses are automatically boring.

DNA can't be mixed by science (fishmato is a cool word).

[Night Kunoichi]

The rules for all fantasy writers that you must never ever ever break is this:

Every town you go to during your adventure has something horribly horribly wrong and they need to be saved. And after you saved said town/village you must ALWAYS pick up some new traveling companion who will pledge their undying love and loyalty to you and will never leave regardless of what you do or what evil acts you do in the "Name of good."

Also you must never let your characters leave. If they do not do anything then just let them fade into obscurity. The reader will know they are still there even if you stop writing about them. Even if they would be more useful elsewhere they could not leave the godliness of your main character.

And remember your main character always has to be some mopey emo with some form of amnesia but still magically knows that their family is dead. And at any given moment they are prone to recollecting memories but later completely contradicting them.

And finally remember when the plot gets slow your MC, regardless of how young they are, must always have a child come in pissed off about how they were never there for them. Your character's 10? No problem! They were awesome enough to knock someone up or get knocked up at the age of 2! Or better yet, TIME TRAVEL! No one ever uses that!

[Moral Gutpunch]

You now what gives you a moral high ground? Getting mad when someone does what you ask and then sending a troll after them.

[Night Kunoichi]

Have your main character a girl and make sure that she is so beautiful that she is raped. Then later have the love of her life help her get over her trauma by making love to her even though any physical contact with the opposite sex would be completely terrifying and memory inducing. Their love is just that strong.

[Moral Gutpunch]

Night Kunoichi

Have your main character a girl and make sure that she is so beautiful that she is raped. Then later have the love of her life help her get over her trauma by making love to her even though any physical contact with the opposite sex would be completely terrifying and memory inducing. Their love is just that strong.

Hell, sex cures everything. Rape trauma, fear of spiders, broken legs, missing hands, mental illnesses.

[Night Kunoichi]

Moral Gutpunch

Night Kunoichi

Have your main character a girl and make sure that she is so beautiful that she is raped. Then later have the love of her life help her get over her trauma by making love to her even though any physical contact with the opposite sex would be completely terrifying and memory inducing. Their love is just that strong.

Hell, sex cures everything. Rape trauma, fear of spiders, broken legs, missing hands, mental illnesses.

And let's not forget bestows godly powers!

[Maltese_Falcon91]

Night Kunoichi

And remember your main character always has to be some mopey emo with some form of amnesia but still magically knows that their family is dead. And at any given moment they are prone to recollecting memories but later completely contradicting them.

He should also have spiky and impractical hair, and carry around a sword. At no point should you consider giving your main character anything other than a sword.

[Moral Gutpunch]

Maltese_Falcon91

He should also have spiky and impractical hair, and carry around a sword. At no point should you consider giving your main character anything other than a sword.

A giant sword. Only fruity bad guys or comic relief use rapiers.

[the hidden ghost]

Kairi Nightingale

All princesses should be tomboyish, spunky, or otherwise rebellious unless they are the antagonist, in which case they should always be spoiled brats.

Delicate, well-behaved princesses are cliche.

Once the tomboy princess meets a boy and falls in love, it's OK for her to turn into the delicate, well-behaved type.

[Moral Gutpunch]

the hidden ghost

Kairi Nightingale

All princesses should be tomboyish, spunky, or otherwise rebellious unless they are the antagonist, in which case they should always be spoiled brats.

Delicate, well-behaved princesses are cliche.

Once the tomboy princess meets a boy and falls in love, it's OK for her to turn into the delicate, well-behaved type.

All tomboys know how to act delicate.

[marshmallowcreampie]

It's totally plausible that a person who has lived in a palace or a well-developed society can easily survive when they run off into the wilderness to find their "true calling". I mean, it's not like one has to know which plants are safe to eat, or how to trap/hunt animals, or find clean water. There's always an apple tree nearby, a campsite to swipe cooked meat from, and a crystal clear spring. And survival is the same whether one is in the mountains, a forest, a jungle or a desert!

[I_Write_Ivre]

If someone decides your story is uninteresting or the narrator is mean or the message is insulting, it automatically means they're stupid.