Anything Goes Writing Contest ~ Hangout Mode

Coronavirus brought it back...

Poll Pimps = TEH SEX	31.9%	[ 30 ]
GGW XI Playoffs	8.5%	[ 8 ]
Due AUGUST 15	12.8%	[ 12 ]
PROMPT ROUND	17.0%	[ 16 ]
Woot panda!	29.8%	[ 28 ]
Total Votes:			[ 94 ]

[Wing McCallister]

Yeah, I definitely didn't pick up on that at all in the first two stanzas. I didn't really go into depth beyond that. Even with your mention of booze later on, I'm not sure how easily people are going to extract that info.

[The Solarised Night]

Wing McCallister

Yeah, I definitely didn't pick up on that at all in the first two stanzas. I didn't really go into depth beyond that. Even with your mention of booze later on, I'm not sure how easily people are going to extract that info.

It's cool, I'm going to scrap it and start again. Thanks though.

[Wing McCallister]

Good luck.

[The Solarised Night]

Wing McCallister

Good luck.

Okay, here is another. Same words, different order. Wait...I might want to enter this for your comp...hmm I wonder if it is worth the rit or worth saving for your comp... ninja

Can I post it and if you decide if you want to give the crit for October round or help me out for BLB's comp? I can find someone else to give it a once-over if you stash it for your voice recording.

[The Solarised Night]

Stiff and adamant men
who maintained their moral integrity,
risk faltering at the joints,
unable to compromise with technology.

They once were representative alphas;
now they are the subject of scorn.
Their inflexibility toward the tides
has caused their reputation to erode.

Contrastingly, the fluid man,
once seen as flaky and indecisive,
has now slipped behind
the wheel of progress.

If technology were the vehicle,
then knowledge is the fuel,
but knowledge without reason
provides foundation to selfishness and waste.

Whilst the universe is expanding,
our world contracts to meet that pace.
The global economy is becoming unified
and cultural barriers are usurped.

Globalisation, in theory,
seems like a diamond of acceptance,
but shatter the superficial perceptions
and observe individuality dissipate.

[The Solarised Night]

Holy crap I actually wrote a shortish poem xd

[The Solarised Night]

brb to edit punctuation. Word document capitalises everything because it is stupid

[The Solarised Night]

Certain words in there are too stiff and don't flow real well. I shall play around with them. I don't like 'usurp' where it is; it was once 'dissipate' but I prefer that word at the end of the poem so I need something to replace 'usurp.' I also feel that 'the wheel of progress' stanza has it's last too lines too short on syllables.

[Wing McCallister]

Nitpicking is good.

[The Solarised Night]

Wing McCallister

Nitpicking is good.

I am guessing your lack of a crit implies that you want it for the Oct comp razz
Alright, if I get more time later, I will edit further

[Wing McCallister]

I haven't looked at it at all. It's up to you to decide. Me telling you anything would introduce a bias. You need to make your own decision on that s**t.

[The Solarised Night]

Wing McCallister

I haven't looked at it at all. It's up to you to decide. Me telling you anything would introduce a bias. You need to make your own decision on that s**t.

Aw, sorry for that. sweatdrop
I guess it is a submission then...

[Wing McCallister]

The Solarised Night

Wing McCallister

I haven't looked at it at all. It's up to you to decide. Me telling you anything would introduce a bias. You need to make your own decision on that s**t.

Aw, sorry for that. sweatdrop
I guess it is a submission then...

I mean, I hope that makes sense. If I read it and told you what I felt about it and then had you submit it, it would be like exposing you to an additional critique that no one else gets.

So are you going to submit it here, or are you going to send it to BLB?

[The Solarised Night]

Wing McCallister

The Solarised Night

Wing McCallister

I haven't looked at it at all. It's up to you to decide. Me telling you anything would introduce a bias. You need to make your own decision on that s**t.

Aw, sorry for that. sweatdrop
I guess it is a submission then...

I mean, I hope that makes sense. If I read it and told you what I felt about it and then had you submit it, it would be like exposing you to an additional critique that no one else gets.

So are you going to submit it here, or are you going to send it to BLB?

Both razz

[Wing McCallister]

The Solarised Night

Wing McCallister

The Solarised Night

Wing McCallister

I haven't looked at it at all. It's up to you to decide. Me telling you anything would introduce a bias. You need to make your own decision on that s**t.

Aw, sorry for that. sweatdrop
I guess it is a submission then...

I mean, I hope that makes sense. If I read it and told you what I felt about it and then had you submit it, it would be like exposing you to an additional critique that no one else gets.

So are you going to submit it here, or are you going to send it to BLB?

Both razz

Sweet deal.