Things you don't want to hear your DM say

Do you play D&D?

Yes, cause I'm cool	90.1%	[ 1412 ]
No, cause i'm stupid	9.9%	[ 156 ]
Total Votes:			[ 1568 ]

[Eothemina]

I walked into a cavernous place, with my oober big bounty hunter guy, that isn't the smartest thing in the world, and got down the hall way. The DM asked me, "Are you going to do anything?" This DM is known for being tricky, and I said, "I'm looking for traps." I got a 1 roll on my d20. The character, I knew, would just go for it, so I did. On each side was a trip wire, that made two boulders fall from either side. I missed the tumble check, the block check, and the search check. Needless to say, I was smacked down to 1 hp. So, I guess the one thing that I don't like the DM to say is, "What are you going to do?"

[Nicolas_Rei]

1. Dwarves - (unhealthy number of them in our campaign.)

2. Look at the dice. (Always said when he rolls a nat 20 on an attack roll or save that will turn the tide against us. )

3. Time to make a will save DC 50! (This is gonna hurt. )

4. You're still carrying that -Insert Item From Earlier Adventure- right?

And so much more.

[Savayan]

1. Make a reflex save. (without looking at the dice) You fail.

2. You guys are level nine, right?

3. The small little boy with golden locks is kept in a colossal cage...

My favorite of all time would have to be:

4. You hear a pilot light start. (we were in a WWI-era campaign where we were consistently outclassed by a group of people called the Black Legion. They were inordinately fond of flame throwers.)

[MimeDestroyer]

DM: (to self)Well that's interesting!!!
*Get's up and walks into the next room, then starts laughing so hard it wasn't even funny. Came back and sits down.*
Okay, shall we begin?

Everyone else: Stunned silence
Me: What was that all about?
DM: You'll see soon enough

[Savayan]

Honestly, you don't want to hear your DM laugh. Ever.

[Downy Knight]

Savayan

Honestly, you don't want to hear your DM laugh. Ever.

Agreed. xp eek

[Aelitahopper`]

Downy Knight

Savayan

Honestly, you don't want to hear your DM laugh. Ever.

Agreed. xp eek

I've been known to cackle, it greatly disturbs the players for some reason, so now I cackle atrandom intervals just to keep them on their toes. twisted

[Peshk Forge]

Well, when I am behind the screen, I don't tend to laugh or cackle, however, I have almost perfected a raised eyebrow and a smirk whenever one of the players starts telling me what their actions are going to be. Most of one group of players already recognize the gesture, so they tend to rethink their plans or start second guessing themselves. The one player that has not, is now on his third character.


Also, whenever the DM goes "Ooopppsss... misread those numbers...."
God, the rest of the party barely made it out alive. Me, I was extremely lucky and got out without any damage.

[TybaltGamemaster]

I usually am the gamemaster, but I still remember the immortal dread when I was playing and the DM said the following:
"You really go into that room? Okay... I'm going to need more dice..." and then suddenly there was this loud thump as he dropped about a five pound dice bag onto the table behind his screen.

[LordShard]

I really wish I hadn't seen teh DM is going to have us fight another aspect of the Pharo. I die in teh first round because he casts maximized empowered fireballs.

[Savayan]

TybaltGamemaster

I usually am the gamemaster, but I still remember the immortal dread when I was playing and the DM said the following:
"You really go into that room? Okay... I'm going to need more dice..." and then suddenly there was this loud thump as he dropped about a ive pound dice bag onto the table behind his screen.

That is a good one. It reminds me of the DM who liked to put random gates to the Nine Hells scattered throughout his worlds. They didn't serve any purpose as far as we could tell, and there never was an invasion into/out of Hell, but they were always there.

Me: "...alright, I poke my head through the portal."
DM: " You see a Pit Fiend and a Vrock copulating. Make a Knowledge: Limits of Your Own Sanity check."

[Yo Fish]

Okay this happened to another DnD group my sister knew but made me laugh so hard:
Okay, so you are traveling in a group with a guy who is pretty much the leader of the group because his friends let him choose what the group does. So the DM decides to make a NPC who is a little girl. When the girl shows up the "leader" decides to kill her. Then the DM says something along the lines of: "Did I mention that this girl can transform into a dragon?" So then the little girl turns into a dragon and eats the entire group.

So pretty much what I am saying is that one thing you don't want to hear is "Did I mention..." right after you make a decision.

[Bolcien]

It's not exactly D&D but we have DM/GM's and dice and all that DnD stuff... biggrin

I play in a Star Trek Roleplay room. my landing party consisted of myself (a Security Lt.) the First officer, a security Ensign. and a medical crew member NPC.

so any ways were on this planet. and low and behold the entire team enters a cave, and we're captured.... the medical crew member NPC (who is female) gets stripped to nothing while the rest of us watch and the cult leader pulls a small snake out of the ground and proceeds to input it into the.... down under area. (the snake leaked a neuro-toxin that turned pain into pleasure) and this snake was eating her insides so after several painful minutes for the NPC.. she finally dies after a very climatic end... I make some off hand comment to the situation *gutter minds alike will figure it out* and so I'm next on the block I fight and fail and get stripped and tied up.... and then the GM has the cult leader pull out a 6 inch around 12 foot long python snake and I'm thinking "OH s**t!" considering where the first snake went.... i actually got squeezed to death... made it back to the ship before the doc killed me with direct neuro stimulation that jerked me and caused a rib to pierced my heart. *knew I should have been a Klingon.*

[Treibok]

In this situation, Merg, a trollkin's micro-troll familiar, is narrated by the DM. This is the Iron Kingdoms setting.

Normally Merg eats any enemy who happens to die and be left there. In this case they were the dredge(sp?). Our characters didn't knwo what they were called at the time so we just went with the title of "munchy men" that Merg gave them, becasue he loved to eat them.

We were in a large chamber with coffins set into alcoves at regular intervals around the walls. Toward the center is a massive pyre shooting up to the top of the enormous room, and nex to the flame is another coffin, this one however is engraved with writing too ancient for any of our characters to read.

Trolkin: "Merg, do you smell anything?"
Merg: "Something."
Trollkin: "Is it munchy men?"
Merg: "No, not munchy men, something nasty."

Yeah... my character died. When a troll thinks something is nasty to eat, you can bet its nasty to fight.