Things you don't want to hear your DM say

Do you play D&D?

Yes, cause I'm cool	90.1%	[ 1412 ]
No, cause i'm stupid	9.9%	[ 156 ]
Total Votes:			[ 1568 ]

[Kasumi Ocada]

Iomma Sensei

Rockwarrior v2.0

"how hard could a tarrasaque be?"

xd I love using that one!


My favorite one to use (because I allways DM), was this:

Me: "Roll a Fortitude save..."
Player: "Why? I didn't get poisoned, did I?"
Me: "No, just roll one, and give it a -2 penalty..."
Player: "Er...*rolls a 16* Ha! And with a +6 to my Fort, that makes it 20! What was all that for?..."
Me: "Nothing biggrin , I was just wasting your good rolls now for when you fight the boss..."

The one that my DM did that got me irritated was:

DM: "You see something silver on the ground in front of you..."
Me (thinking it was spare change): "...O-tay, I walk forward and pick it up...?"
DM: *Snickers*
Me: "What was that for?"
DM: "Make a Strength check..."
Me (being oblivious as allways): "All right...?" *rolls a 3...with my Str*
DM: *Laughs, and starts rolling masses of dice*
Me: "Wait, what's all that for?!"
DM: "Let me see... a bite, four claws, and a tail. Make a reflex save against it's breath weapon..."

And of course I fail the Reflex save, and the party finds itself in dire combat with an ancient Silver Dragon, all because I failed to ask "how big is the siver?"...

rofl rofl rofl rofl

[Lianwa]

bump

[Toxa Ikimoko]

DM: *points to the two strongest players* You... and you, come give me a hand with this minature.


DM: The Psion manifests his Claws of the Beast and hits you for... wheres my bucket?


DM: You cleave off the head of the barbarian with the vorpal sword! He keeps coming.


DM: *Plays Night on Bald Mountain* Inititive.

[Professor E. Gadd]

DM: "Uhhh... Yeah, guys, could you give me a few minutes before you go into that dungeon and kill everything mercilessly, taking everything that isn't bolted down? I haven't really designed the dungeon yet."

[Treibok]

Rockwarrior v2.0

Diamond_Wales

"Your only thief got petrified and you haven't even gotten a quarter of the way through the trap-laiden valley to the archmages tower."

just do what i do... ******** it all and RUN, but make sure you have either...
A) an item that revives you or makes you invulnerable
-or-
B) A healer who can revive
-or-
C) An extra character ready

I survived one time doing this, but i was using my minotaur, with full plate armor, just walked through setting off every trap, but we needed a way across and our only guy who could deactivate the traps was blown up after eating something. Now when we see food lying around, we are extremely cautious.

Lol, sounds like what we had the Paladin do in the last D&D game I played. We just had him bullrush through trap laden halways and set everything off, then when we got to a safe zone, we healed him. With items though, in Iron Kingdoms you don't want to use any sort of healing magic on another being, especially not Resurect, and hell no if they worship someone else.

[Treibok]

DM: *rolls dice behind screen* HOLY CRAP! Haha, that's awsome!
Players: *thinking "oh s**t"*

DM: You all notice that the train is pulling into a train station a few days early. Everyone make will saves.

[AuronsDoll]

Another favorite thing of mine to do:


*players are doing a dungoen crawl*

Rouge: I search for traps! *rolls, gets random number*
Me: Okay, you find no traps.
Rouge: Okay! I open the door!
Me: *starts busting out laughing, flipping a couple pages in a book*
Rouge: Huh?
Me: I said you find no traps, not that there weren't any... *starts pulling out 20d6*
Rouge: *goes pale* Oh s**t.

[AuronsDoll]

"Hey guys! I just picked up Findish Codex I: Hordes of the Abyss and a Ravenloft book!!! ^_^!! Isn't that GREAT?!"

[This Charade]

My DM likes making us do checks, especially knowledge checks for EVERYTHING. This makes figuring out nything nearly impossible. We walk into a random place and he will say "Anyone have Knowledge Achiecture?". Also things like occational fortitude saves to see if you get cart sick.

the worst things though are
"Ok....*reaches for DM's guild and dice*
"Sure, you caan do that"
"What's you charisma again" (that charecter was at risk of getting bitchslapped or something similar)

Luckily my DM has banned Book of Vile Darkness.

[MikeBlackRangerofTheVoid]

the scariest thing is when a is completely silent and just smiles innocently at u

[Rockwarrior v2.0]

DM: *drags in a couple of oversized dufflebags filled with d20's at the edge of ripping due to how full they are* Hold on i have 10 more in the car, I need to calculate the damage roll of one monster in this dungeon.


The scariest thing we have encountered though is this monster with a huge sword, we killed the monster, but The dm forgot i was a minotaur (large size, big enough to carry the sword), i had a sword that always did 60+ damage. And was indestructible, along with the fact that if i dropped it, it would automatically be summoned to my hand. we lost 4 party members, in the battle, it was nearly an hour long. It was one hell of a battle. Now i can drop dragons easily, and if i go against a tarrasaque, i can almost hold my own. The scary part was the fact the monster killed one of our guys upon entering the arena.

[Lianwa]

bump

[AuronsDoll]

Bump

[Xin9]

lets take a break before we do this, that way when it's done we won't be cramped.

[Jendal]

roll a reflex save... and I need to borrow some d6's