LittleStevieHorseAndPhone
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- Posted: Sat, 23 Aug 2014 05:34:59 +0000
"Yes, isn't that what I just said? Not something I can explain. Like why 'pony' and 'bologna' rhyme in English even though they're spelled nothing alike...only with more embarrassing details about me," said Liesel, her tone guarded, razor-edged, hostile, even though she hadn't wanted for it to come out that way at all. It just happened when she and Phillip were together like this. Her heart said let him in but the neurotic part of her mind was screaming, RED ALERT!
She knew it wasn't fair to him, though. It wasn't his fault that her life had gone totally haywire. Since they were five, he'd been nothing but kind to her, and she...well, she'd had the kindness beaten out of her, and with anybody else, she could have gladly patted herself on the back for her natural, conditioned snark, but not him.
She didn't know what love was supposed to look like. Merlin knew her parents hadn't modeled it for her. But if she had to take a wild guess in the dark, it would be whatever she and Phillip had, and even still, she kept on ******** it up over and over with the same bitchy personality she prided herself on when dealing with the rest of the world.
"Look, I'm sorry," she said.
And she didn't apologize often.
"But I just...it's not something I...what I did at the dance was stupid and unacceptable, but is there any chance you can just take my sorry and my word that it will never happen again? Liebling. I promise.." It just killed her, knowing how important he thought she was. Knowing how she just didn't have enough within her to give him all the...all the nice things he deserved.
But maybe she could come close enough, if she set her damned mind to it.
She'd get rid of the panic attacks somehow. Hell, she'd even take Amortentia if she had to! Of course, he'd have to keep it on his person if it was to work...but that wasn't a problem! She could slip a bottle into his pocket, let him carry it around all day, discreetly take it back when things were starting to get intimate between them, dismiss herself to the restroom to 'freshen up' so he wouldn't see her drugging herself...
She could pull it off. Definitely. Sneakiness was just one of her many natural talents.
She stammered a bit when he went on. "Physical reason?" she repeated. "Don't be ridiculous, what physical reason could I possibly..."
He knew she wasn't exactly a blushing virgin. Hell, Pettigrew probably still had the little red bruises she'd sucked down his stomach and into his inner thighs.
"I mean, come on." She gave him a conspicuous, staged once-over and said, "Any girl in this school would literally die to sleep with you, even the firsties--have you seen how they look at you? And they still think 'sleep with' means actual sleep!" she said.
Any girl at this school would die to sleep with him...and yet here she was, frantically thinking up contingency plans in case of the event.
"Physical reason," she repeated once more in a mocking tone, giving him a light, playful punch in the shoulder. "It's not you. Promise," she went on in the same tone someone might use to assert that two plus two equaled five.
"Speaking of all that physical scheisse, don't you have to run around the castle twelve times or else your parents will send you a Howler or whatever?" she piped up.
And she was usually such an opponent of the weird, structured lifestyle the Kutner family insisted upon.
For as long as she and Phillip could remember, she'd been the force of dissent in his life. The girl who could always be counted on to nudge an extra Butterbeer into his hand because, "Merlin, Phillip, it's a party!" The one who'd spend her summers smuggling him cupcakes from that expensive bakery on Church Street, even though it always made her feel bad, like she was smuggling drugs. The one who'd beg him to skip his morning runs to "help her with her potions essays," which was really just code for, 'hang out with me.'
His parents' strict regime was one of the things that had been driving a wedge between them all these years...but now, in Liesel's time of need, it was a barrier she could erect to her own purposes.
And Merlin, did she need one now. She just wanted this conversation to be over quick, clean, and easy.
"C'mon, soldier, chop chop, double-time," she said.
▇ ▇▇ ▇▇▇ ▇▇▇▇▇▇ YOU WERE THE ▇▇▇▇▇
PRETTIEST THING I EVER STOLE.
PRETTIEST THING I EVER STOLE.