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So what do you think?

Great 0.28308823529412 28.3% [ 77 ]
Good 0.22794117647059 22.8% [ 62 ]
Okay 0.18382352941176 18.4% [ 50 ]
Needs work. 0.21691176470588 21.7% [ 59 ]
Bad 0.088235294117647 8.8% [ 24 ]
Total Votes:[ 272 ]
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Andrew the Nerd: Thanks for reading and commenting! I love tofu but I understand that you don't. ....Err.... I got a feeling I'm going to make all of you wanting to learn more about her mom mad. Great. Nice question... I guess I have to add that later.

angebabe18: Lol, thanks for reading and commenting. Of course I'm going to make it up to you guys for waiting so long! Sorry about too...

cherry144: Oh thanks! I'll fix it as soon as I can. Oh gosh... I'm really going to make all of you who wants to know more about her mother angry. Oh and yeah, you just noticed? Thanks for reading and commenting my the way!

3nodding
Love it biggrin
Even with a bitchy girl, you've managed to make the story interesting and come 'alive'.
*subscribes to thread*
Can't wait to hear more!
Wow thanks fallen leaves123 that really makes me happy to know. ^^
wow nice uv really coem quite a bit farther on maria's character. a little more insight. heh i liek that. im always tryin to figrue characters. lol. u shoulda posted the end of chap 2 sooner its good! im hooked now. ^_^
Godzilla8tokyo
wow nice uv really coem quite a bit farther on maria's character. a little more insight. heh i liek that. im always tryin to figrue characters. lol. u shoulda posted the end of chap 2 sooner its good! im hooked now. ^_^


Thanks! Sorry I took so long and I'm glad you're enjoying my story with more interest. ^^
You like changing your look, don't you?
cherry144
You like changing your look, don't you?


Lol, yeah I do! Is it a bad thing? mrgreen

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yay! i liked it! ^_^ still think that girls a b***h. shes needs some smackin' 4laugh
elementalgods3
yay! i liked it! ^_^ still think that girls a b***h. shes needs some smackin' 4laugh


Lol, wow.
I really like ur book so far. blaugh i will definitely subscribe to this thread!!! biggrin
Akarui Tomoshibi
I really like ur book so far. blaugh i will definitely subscribe to this thread!!! biggrin


Thank you 3nodding but it's not a book.... it's a story.
ooh. any way its funny! =] blaugh
Chapter Three: The Waiter Guy
“What the hell are you talking about?” I asked as I stirred my soup. He then put the receipt on my table. Today is just getting more annoying by the second. I then took a sip of my soup. Oh s**t! It’s ******** hot! I quickly put my spoon on a napkin and drank my ice tea to cool my month. But my mouth still felt like s**t. That waiter was still there too. I turned to him; he just smiled and walked away. I was about to throw my spoon at him but I saw that the people were staring at me again. “What the ******** are you looking at?” I said with my hand over my mouth. Idiots.

They quickly turned away again and started talking in their own language. If you go something to say, say it to my face. I then turned back around, got my spoon and started to blow my soup and stir it. I took a sip to see if it was still hot. Damn, my tongue hurts. I covered my mouth again and drank some of my drink. When I was done drinking I tried the soup again, my tongue still hurt but it tasted good. I kept eating my soup till my waiter came over and refilled my empty cup. “You should be careful next time.”

I kept on eating. No s**t, you think I liked getting my tongue burned? I looked around for a clock and found it on a wall behind me. I better get home before it gets too late. So I ate fast and drank some of my ice tea. My waiter came along and looked down at my empty bowl and said, “Wait here.” He hurried off somewhere. Like hell I’m going to wait. I gotta go.

I stood up, got the receipt and looked at it. Six dollars and fifty five cents. Okay I can deal with that. I gave him three dollars and walked to the cash register. I gave them the receipt, the money and walked out of the store. I walked to the sidewalk but then heard someone yell, “Wait!” Oh god. Please don’t let it be that waiter. Please don’t let it be that ******** waiter.

I turned around and saw the waiter guy running toward me with a bag. Oh god! I turned back to the street and looked to see if I could run. Cars were coming but they weren’t close. Yes! So I ran across the street and I got to the other side. I did a quick turn and looked at the waiter. He was on the other side of the street looking at me disappointedly. Heh. Loser. I turned back and walked to my house. Is he following me? I looked back again but he wasn’t, he was going back to the shop. I smirked and kept on walking home.

When I got home, I opened the door and took off my shoes. Mom’s probably at work about now. I went straight to my room and laid down again. But then sat up and set my clock to six o clock. I then laid down on my bed again. I wrapped myself in my blanket and fell asleep.

When I woke up I looked out the window, it looked like six or seven. I looked at my clock and it was almost six. Like five more minutes. Wow. I turned off my alarm and went to the kitchen and drank some water. Today is going to be shitty. After drinking my water I walked back to my room and got ready for school. When I was done, I sat down and watched some music videos that were playing on VH1. Mom was probably sleeping and doesn’t go to work till eight.

When it was time for me to go, I turned off the T.V and lights and got out of the house. I started to walk to my bus stop. It wasn’t that far, it was like two blocks away. I leaned on the stop sign and yeaned. I can’t believe I wake up so early.

Sorry that I took so long.
May i ask was that from a personal experience? I mean, is this you venting out at your teacher? lol. Joking. Anyway, its nice to read, though the time will be hard to change, since if you change that, you will have to add more stuff and then you'll lose the flow, which is good already. I suggest take the time out altogether. The swearing is nice, but the story is like parental 13, i want it published, but will it have a chance with those words?

Un lang...Tagalog for "that's all." biggrin

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