Transtastic ||Support for the proud Trans Population||

Remy is back again....

Please don't kill me. D:	13.8%	[ 185 ]
I'll be nice, I promise.	23.2%	[ 310 ]
I'm back for now, we're all good right?	14.2%	[ 190 ]
Wait... What are you doing with that knife?	48.8%	[ 652 ]
Total Votes:			[ 1337 ]

[Desideraht]

MarigoldMari

If your parents rent out your room to you (even at $1 a month) then you qualify as independent (they become your landlords) and your income level qualifies you for Medicaid. Depending on your state, they may have to register as a landlord, but that's a simple form. Medical bills as far as 3 months past (and they'll work with you with the rest) will be paid for if you declare them once you have Medicaid. You can get your temporary Medicaid card the same day, and declare your medical bills the same day, too.

Here's that tattoo site: http://www.createmytattoo.com/

The Amazon program I told you about also is the exact same for music. So whatever you decide to do, its there.

As a professional artist, being trans will just be a part of who you are; it doesn't define you unless you choose it to (for example, many trans artists choose that to be the focus of their art, so they're known for it). No one's going to judge you for being trans in the community. The "worst" you'd get would be fans who embrace their own trangenderism because they were inspired by you. But once again, you can be anonymous, never telling your personal info, etc, until you're comfortable coming out as the self you feel you are meant to be. There are tons of anon artists, both in music and in art. It sounds like the important thing right now is to make money, and by being in the independent art community you can start doing that as soon as today if you join that website I gave you above there.

If you work for the US post office, they can't discriminate against you legally since it is federal, no matter what your state's laws are. So it would be a good choice. Since they can't discriminate, I can see them having to allow you to wear a nametag with your chosen name, for instance.

I'll talk to my mom about this. Originally my rent was going to be $300 a month but my medical debt is so bad that we've agreed on "work exchange", which can't legally stand for anything. I think we'll have to make some sort of plan, but I also feel that if she was charging me, say, $10 a month in rent, that the court could claim this is "fraudulent". I think we should avoid that entire matter honestly.

I don't really want it to be a "part of who I am" as some gimmick. Some artists are like "OMG LOOK AT ME I'M GAY" and some are just like "I'm an artist! You heard rumors that I'm gay? Sure but I don't see what that has to do with my art." I don't want to wear being trans on my sleeve. And honestly I'm tired of people sensationalizing my transsexuality. They do it a lot, call me "brave" and s**t. I don't like it.

Tuah

Heheh, nice.

Just a bunch of kids on my siblings' bus calling me a hippie 'cause of my hair. Not that I care what a bunch of kids have to say, but it's a big slap in the face reminding me that despite all the progress I've made, I still don't exist and my entire life has been a lie.

So I'm thinking of dressing more feminine tomorrow. Really hoping one will call me a f** so they'll all get busted big-time, and they'll have no reason to retaliate against me (via spitwads or whatever it is kids are doing these days) since I've only ever been nice to all the other kids.

I remember during those few months I was self medicating, progress was pretty significant. Maybe I'll at least have semblance of myself by Christmas.

Girls can be hippies, too. I mean I know what you're getting at, yes, and why that bothers you, but you HAVE to make this about YOUR perspective, and turn it around in your head. That's the secret, really, to doing well in anything. I'm trying it myself and I'm getting outrageously good results so far. Basically I turn s**t around in my head, it makes me more confidence, and it shows in tangibly better results.

[Desideraht]

General update:
Went to LGBT group yesterday. I had a pretty intense experience, hearing stories, and even meeting with people I knew in Northern California. I don't want to get too personal, and I know this will make him feel weird, but when Miles was there checking in, I started freaking out inside. Shaking, and I thought I was going to hyperventilate. He passes so well. His arms are so big, he has a beard, he had chest surgery. He came out, when I had already been out for like 3 years, and now, he's surpassed me in virtually every way physically. It eats my self-esteem alive, and I hate admitting it publicly where he can see it, because I know this isn't his fault or anything. But I almost left the room, I was so upset. Not by him, but by my own failures. His success is a reminder. Yet at the same time, I can look at him and say, "That could be me in 2-3 years." But I hate that it's going to take that long because I'm so ******** broke.

At group, though, everyone was so nice. And they all said I look great. They like my sense of style and my personhood, and I guess that matters more than being manly. But I still want to catch up. It's upsetting me so much. I want to reach that state where I can have that sigh of relief and say it's finally all over. I want my chest surgery so I can just stop wearing this horrible binder. I'm sweating so much. And I want testosterone to make me bigger. It's just not working. I think the dose is totally wrong, which is why I'm going to go to San Diego for bloodwork.

On the other hand, I found a network that exists locally that can help hook me up with surgeons in Thailand, the UK, Canada, or in the US. I can save up to 50% on my procedure(s) depending on where I go. I may even be able to get chest surgery and metoidioplasty at the same time, and I'd be out of the country for just 3 weeks. They arrange all of your travel needs and have a concierge escort you when you get there. The surgeons and hospitals in Thailand basically pamper you, and their procedures are way cheaper. Even though travel costs could be around 2 grand, through this service I may get cheaper airfare and the hotel stay is also discounted because of their affiliations. I am thinking of contacting their head (he's basically like their CEO but I don't know his exact title) for a personal meeting down in San Diego, but I really think I have to knock this debt out first before I consider this. I'm also going to mention that I want keyhole and that may complicate things, but I also know surgeons in Thailand are very capable. Most people don't get their chest surgeries done there and I think it's because it's a very little-known fact that they have good chest surgery there, and usually for a lot cheaper than 9 grand. They might even have financing, because Thailand is extremely trans-friendly, even to foreigners. I know when my friend had his phalloplasty in Thailand, he got Medicare to cover it 100%, including travel costs, and the assistance he had in Thailand made him feel like royalty. But he's disabled, so it was a bit easier for him to get that sort of access.

Additionally, I am going to get my name change done. I have just over $400, so if they make me pay for it, ******** them, I'll pay for it if I must. I got pay stubs from work today that show I've made about 2 grand in 3 months, and I will be bringing my bills that add up to about $1900 total as well as receipts showing the about $700 I've already paid off, plus my phone bill, transit costs, and other medical expenses, to basically prove that I had to budget EXTREMELY tightly to save up this $400, and that I am holding onto this money at the risk of my debts, some of which are over a year old and REALLY need to be paid. Basically I don't see how the court can deny a waiver, given my circumstances. Like a couple of people have suggested to me, my mom and I are thinking of saying that I pay rent even though I haven't for a while. I may just do that this month so we can prove the transaction. In fact, if we made it official this month, it would technically be legal/official and they can't do anything about it. So I'm going to ask her about her thoughts on that. If I am paying rent, I will be "legally" independent (even though technically I am not legally dependent so I don't know wtf they call me right now). I am hoping to bring my mom to the court so that if they don't understand our financial situation at home she can explain it. She budgets everything, except utilities, which my grandfather pays. He also pays like $1500 a month for his medications, because even though he's a Vietnam veteran his coverage is s**t.

Am planning on doing this all next week if I can, and I need to contact the registrar of voters about how I'll vote with a new name. Hopefully I can use my old ID or something or have my new name added in changed before November even though it won't legally change until past the registration deadline. I don't care who I view as, I just want to vote. But yeah, in case the courts deny a fee waiver again, I also have most of the cash on hand even though I really should be using it to pay off my medical debt. I'm going to fight really hard for a waiver and cry discrimination if I have to. Basically someone who is nearly 2 grand in medical debt should not have to pay over $400 to change their name. I pay taxes, my family pays taxes, and I'm trying to exercise the use of a waiver for a reason. It exists for people who are in a pinch like I am. And it's even MORE vital because I need this to basically get a good job. I will explain that I have been facing job discrimination and even discrimination in medical establishments due to my transsexuality. If my name is changed, they won't know, at least not right away. Almost no one ever looks at the gender marker. Even with my legal name being female I've had people put male because I pass. So really, my name change will protect me more than people realize.

My parents do not collect tax benefits for me living with them. I know people who live with their parents who got their fees waived, so honestly I think that clerk was full of s**t... I have to avoid that guy and go in there with confidence and proof. It kind of sucks because everyone else I've known who got their fees waive, the courts just took their word for it and gave them no problems. I have no idea why it's been an issue but I'm just hoping it was that ONE clerk is an a*****e. His one denial has got me all freaked out over everything and I just hope I'm overreacting.

So yeah, that's what's happening. I'm going for the name change next week, even if I have to pay for it in full. It's going to happen.

Because I'm setting aside this money for my name just in case, I won't be able to go to San Diego for hormones until I know what the verdict is on whether or not I'm getting my fees waived. I'll find out right there whether or not it's approved, so I should know next week whether or not I can set up that appointment to get my levels fixed. And it want to switch to injections because they DO work better/faster, at least for "initial changes". After that, topical can be much nicer. But I never got injections so I did not have the benefit of how fast they work. Basically I'm playing catch up on that, too.

But in the very least, I am passing 100%, and people really dig me. It's helping my self-esteem but I'm still hurting over my chest. Chest surgery doesn't just remove your moobs, either. It makes your whole torso and neck and everything look more masculine. I feel so damn squishy and gross and really need to get out of this mess asap.

[Tuah]

Desideraht

Tuah

Desideraht

Tuah

I was recently reminded why I never go outside.

Just a couple of weeks to go...

Bad day? :'( I'm glad it's only a couple more weeks until you hit another milestone. *hugs*

I actually am doing really well socially. Had this cute guy with a Iron Maiden shirt on gushing over my Megadeth hat. And he called me "dude/man" of course, which helped because I was actually worried I wasn't passing. I realized a metalhead connecting with me through music feels about as good as a cute girl hitting on me, LOL. I'm so weird.

Heheh, nice.

Just a bunch of kids on my siblings' bus calling me a hippie 'cause of my hair. Not that I care what a bunch of kids have to say, but it's a big slap in the face reminding me that despite all the progress I've made, I still don't exist and my entire life has been a lie.

So I'm thinking of dressing more feminine tomorrow. Really hoping one will call me a f** so they'll all get busted big-time, and they'll have no reason to retaliate against me (via spitwads or whatever it is kids are doing these days) since I've only ever been nice to all the other kids.

I remember during those few months I was self medicating, progress was pretty significant. Maybe I'll at least have semblance of myself by Christmas.

Girls can be hippies, too. I mean I know what you're getting at, yes, and why that bothers you, but you HAVE to make this about YOUR perspective, and turn it around in your head. That's the secret, really, to doing well in anything. I'm trying it myself and I'm getting outrageously good results so far. Basically I turn s**t around in my head, it makes me more confidence, and it shows in tangibly better results.

Hm, my pink shirt wasn't enough today. Perhaps it's the fact that I don't take good care of my hair... like a hippie. xP

Next week it'll be French braids. If my hair is even long enough...
Pigtails would be trying too hard.

I'm really pissed about my hairline with those weird masculine triangle things. Not even 2 square inches of area, but it's still going to be a b***h and a half to fix. Easy to hide, but it really renders many, many hairstyles impossible.
When I'm out of depression and able to think creatively, I'm going to follow through with that product idea I had and get rich. I'm confident that it could likely work.

Eh, after I start estrogen I'll tell my family I essentially want to disappear from society altogether for a few months. My grandfather can handle my siblings since he really needs the exercise. Then I'll be a very different person when I return.


Addendum: Just found out there's a hair transplant guy in Baltimore, and the whole thing's pretty simple and cost effective. Still going to cost a few thousand I imagine.

[Desideraht]

Tuah

Desideraht

Tuah

Desideraht

Tuah

I was recently reminded why I never go outside.

Just a couple of weeks to go...

Bad day? :'( I'm glad it's only a couple more weeks until you hit another milestone. *hugs*

I actually am doing really well socially. Had this cute guy with a Iron Maiden shirt on gushing over my Megadeth hat. And he called me "dude/man" of course, which helped because I was actually worried I wasn't passing. I realized a metalhead connecting with me through music feels about as good as a cute girl hitting on me, LOL. I'm so weird.

Heheh, nice.

Just a bunch of kids on my siblings' bus calling me a hippie 'cause of my hair. Not that I care what a bunch of kids have to say, but it's a big slap in the face reminding me that despite all the progress I've made, I still don't exist and my entire life has been a lie.

So I'm thinking of dressing more feminine tomorrow. Really hoping one will call me a f** so they'll all get busted big-time, and they'll have no reason to retaliate against me (via spitwads or whatever it is kids are doing these days) since I've only ever been nice to all the other kids.

I remember during those few months I was self medicating, progress was pretty significant. Maybe I'll at least have semblance of myself by Christmas.

Girls can be hippies, too. I mean I know what you're getting at, yes, and why that bothers you, but you HAVE to make this about YOUR perspective, and turn it around in your head. That's the secret, really, to doing well in anything. I'm trying it myself and I'm getting outrageously good results so far. Basically I turn s**t around in my head, it makes me more confidence, and it shows in tangibly better results.

Hm, my pink shirt wasn't enough today. Perhaps it's the fact that I don't take good care of my hair... like a hippie. xP

Next week it'll be French braids. If my hair is even long enough...
Pigtails would be trying too hard.

I'm really pissed about my hairline with those weird masculine triangle things. Not even 2 square inches of area, but it's still going to be a b***h and a half to fix. Easy to hide, but it really renders many, many hairstyles impossible.
When I'm out of depression and able to think creatively, I'm going to follow through with that product idea I had and get rich. I'm confident that it could likely work.

Eh, after I start estrogen I'll tell my family I essentially want to disappear from society altogether for a few months. My grandfather can handle my siblings since he really needs the exercise. Then I'll be a very different person when I return.


Addendum: Just found out there's a hair transplant guy in Baltimore, and the whole thing's pretty simple and cost effective. Still going to cost a few thousand I imagine.

Like a widow's peak? I wish we could trade hairlines... I think that looks really sexy, LOL. Not even in a masculine way, just in general.

I'm glad you found someone. Sorry about the cost, though. That really sucks. I hope your hairstyles help. But yeah, some people just don't get it, no matter how good you look. I can speak from experience... I have a friend who is super hairy, has a beard and everything, and some people still "she" him. We have no idea how they get that from a mountain man.

[Tuah]

Desideraht

Tuah

Desideraht

Tuah

Desideraht

Tuah

I was recently reminded why I never go outside.

Just a couple of weeks to go...

Bad day? :'( I'm glad it's only a couple more weeks until you hit another milestone. *hugs*

I actually am doing really well socially. Had this cute guy with a Iron Maiden shirt on gushing over my Megadeth hat. And he called me "dude/man" of course, which helped because I was actually worried I wasn't passing. I realized a metalhead connecting with me through music feels about as good as a cute girl hitting on me, LOL. I'm so weird.

Heheh, nice.

Just a bunch of kids on my siblings' bus calling me a hippie 'cause of my hair. Not that I care what a bunch of kids have to say, but it's a big slap in the face reminding me that despite all the progress I've made, I still don't exist and my entire life has been a lie.

So I'm thinking of dressing more feminine tomorrow. Really hoping one will call me a f** so they'll all get busted big-time, and they'll have no reason to retaliate against me (via spitwads or whatever it is kids are doing these days) since I've only ever been nice to all the other kids.

I remember during those few months I was self medicating, progress was pretty significant. Maybe I'll at least have semblance of myself by Christmas.

Girls can be hippies, too. I mean I know what you're getting at, yes, and why that bothers you, but you HAVE to make this about YOUR perspective, and turn it around in your head. That's the secret, really, to doing well in anything. I'm trying it myself and I'm getting outrageously good results so far. Basically I turn s**t around in my head, it makes me more confidence, and it shows in tangibly better results.

Hm, my pink shirt wasn't enough today. Perhaps it's the fact that I don't take good care of my hair... like a hippie. xP

Next week it'll be French braids. If my hair is even long enough...
Pigtails would be trying too hard.

I'm really pissed about my hairline with those weird masculine triangle things. Not even 2 square inches of area, but it's still going to be a b***h and a half to fix. Easy to hide, but it really renders many, many hairstyles impossible.
When I'm out of depression and able to think creatively, I'm going to follow through with that product idea I had and get rich. I'm confident that it could likely work.

Eh, after I start estrogen I'll tell my family I essentially want to disappear from society altogether for a few months. My grandfather can handle my siblings since he really needs the exercise. Then I'll be a very different person when I return.


Addendum: Just found out there's a hair transplant guy in Baltimore, and the whole thing's pretty simple and cost effective. Still going to cost a few thousand I imagine.

Like a widow's peak? I wish we could trade hairlines... I think that looks really sexy, LOL. Not even in a masculine way, just in general.

I'm glad you found someone. Sorry about the cost, though. That really sucks. I hope your hairstyles help. But yeah, some people just don't get it, no matter how good you look. I can speak from experience... I have a friend who is super hairy, has a beard and everything, and some people still "she" him. We have no idea how they get that from a mountain man.

Kinda like this: http://www.aolcdn.com/aolr/facial-hair-ludacris-400a010907.jpg

Well, if I still get "he"d months from now I'm not afraid to be perceived as a dangerous psychopath by demanding respect in return for not being violent. Note that I won't actually say I would be violent; it's simply that people will fallaciously Confirm the Consequent.

Even typing that was vain. It still doesn't fill the void.

I had a moment today where I knew that given time I'll still manage to be happy.

Actually, I faintly remember getting called "she" much more often even after just 4 months of estrogen. Perhaps that short time will have given me a head start.

[Desideraht]

Tuah

Desideraht

Tuah

Desideraht

Tuah

Heheh, nice.

Just a bunch of kids on my siblings' bus calling me a hippie 'cause of my hair. Not that I care what a bunch of kids have to say, but it's a big slap in the face reminding me that despite all the progress I've made, I still don't exist and my entire life has been a lie.

So I'm thinking of dressing more feminine tomorrow. Really hoping one will call me a f** so they'll all get busted big-time, and they'll have no reason to retaliate against me (via spitwads or whatever it is kids are doing these days) since I've only ever been nice to all the other kids.

I remember during those few months I was self medicating, progress was pretty significant. Maybe I'll at least have semblance of myself by Christmas.

Girls can be hippies, too. I mean I know what you're getting at, yes, and why that bothers you, but you HAVE to make this about YOUR perspective, and turn it around in your head. That's the secret, really, to doing well in anything. I'm trying it myself and I'm getting outrageously good results so far. Basically I turn s**t around in my head, it makes me more confidence, and it shows in tangibly better results.

Hm, my pink shirt wasn't enough today. Perhaps it's the fact that I don't take good care of my hair... like a hippie. xP

Next week it'll be French braids. If my hair is even long enough...
Pigtails would be trying too hard.

I'm really pissed about my hairline with those weird masculine triangle things. Not even 2 square inches of area, but it's still going to be a b***h and a half to fix. Easy to hide, but it really renders many, many hairstyles impossible.
When I'm out of depression and able to think creatively, I'm going to follow through with that product idea I had and get rich. I'm confident that it could likely work.

Eh, after I start estrogen I'll tell my family I essentially want to disappear from society altogether for a few months. My grandfather can handle my siblings since he really needs the exercise. Then I'll be a very different person when I return.


Addendum: Just found out there's a hair transplant guy in Baltimore, and the whole thing's pretty simple and cost effective. Still going to cost a few thousand I imagine.

Like a widow's peak? I wish we could trade hairlines... I think that looks really sexy, LOL. Not even in a masculine way, just in general.

I'm glad you found someone. Sorry about the cost, though. That really sucks. I hope your hairstyles help. But yeah, some people just don't get it, no matter how good you look. I can speak from experience... I have a friend who is super hairy, has a beard and everything, and some people still "she" him. We have no idea how they get that from a mountain man.

Kinda like this: http://www.aolcdn.com/aolr/facial-hair-ludacris-400a010907.jpg

Well, if I still get "he"d months from now I'm not afraid to be perceived as a dangerous psychopath by demanding respect in return for not being violent. Note that I won't actually say I would be violent; it's simply that people will fallaciously Confirm the Consequent.

Even typing that was vain. It still doesn't fill the void.

I had a moment today where I knew that given time I'll still manage to be happy.

Actually, I faintly remember getting called "she" much more often even after just 4 months of estrogen. Perhaps that short time will have given me a head start.

Oh, I see. Is it that women have hair to fill that in or that they don't have that? Because I've always felt like I DIDN'T have that and I was waiting for that point to grow in. So maybe it's something you can remove? I don't know what your hairline looks like. On the other hand this can also be covered with fringe of some sort.

[MarigoldMari]

I've found a good ftm top surgeon in my area. I'm going to be making an appointment with him. I looked over his results pictures and they look second best as I've seen. The contours are very nice. Its just the n****e sizes...I'll just be VERY specific about that.

I talked to my family about this chest stuff, mainly to my sister. She immediately got my mom and dad on the phone and my dad got very upset. All three of them are blaming my doctor for "suggesting" and agreeing with a mastectomy. They said as a woman, I wouldn't be happy (my mom even went so far as to say, "I FORBID YOU" ). So, I told my sister I'm "gender neutral" (because I'm too chicken to tell her I'm transgender) so she kind of sighed and was like, "okay, but I still don't like this mastectomy idea. You'll never get those boobs back." But, she said if I chose to have a "before puberty" chest, then they'd have to get used to it because ultimately its my decision.

So after that, I'm more confident to get this done. I was worried they'd be so mad they'd bite my head off. But they've kind of got this tired sigh thing going on. I know myself that I want this done so very badly. Now I know my family's stance, so I can be completely confident.

[Desideraht]

MarigoldMari

I've found a good ftm top surgeon in my area. I'm going to be making an appointment with him. I looked over his results pictures and they look second best as I've seen. The contours are very nice. Its just the n****e sizes...I'll just be VERY specific about that.

I talked to my family about this chest stuff, mainly to my sister. She immediately got my mom and dad on the phone and my dad got very upset. All three of them are blaming my doctor for "suggesting" and agreeing with a mastectomy. They said as a woman, I wouldn't be happy (my mom even went so far as to say, "I FORBID YOU" ). So, I told my sister I'm "gender neutral" (because I'm too chicken to tell her I'm transgender) so she kind of sighed and was like, "okay, but I still don't like this mastectomy idea. You'll never get those boobs back." But, she said if I chose to have a "before puberty" chest, then they'd have to get used to it because ultimately its my decision.

So after that, I'm more confident to get this done. I was worried they'd be so mad they'd bite my head off. But they've kind of got this tired sigh thing going on. I know myself that I want this done so very badly. Now I know my family's stance, so I can be completely confident.

What's your general area, again? I'm just curious. I've already decided I am likely going to use this international service I found and will likely have my surgery outside of the country. It's a lot cheaper that way, though the travel costs are higher, so we'll see how it pans out for me. I will let the thread know if this is a viable option and really works. I'll basically be the guinea pig.

I'm sorry that they're being ridiculous about the surgery. Even if you were a woman, I'm pretty sure a person knows when they don't want to have breasts. But since you're NOT a woman, the notion is pretty ridiculous. Sadly, your folks really don't get it... It's ok that you aren't ready to necessarily tell them everything, though. Take it one step at a time. It's nice that your sister is being somewhat supportive.

Try not to get too comfortable. That sigh of exasperation could just be the beginning, so just... stay strong and firm. They could start getting MORE reactionary as it gets closer to your surgery date. Sometimes the emotions come out like, when you start seeing the surgeon, or even post-op.

[MarigoldMari]

Desideraht

What's your general area, again? I'm just curious. I've already decided I am likely going to use this international service I found and will likely have my surgery outside of the country. It's a lot cheaper that way, though the travel costs are higher, so we'll see how it pans out for me.

I'm sorry that they're being ridiculous about the surgery. Even if you were a woman, I'm pretty sure a person knows when they don't want to have breasts. But since you're NOT a woman, the notion is pretty ridiculous. Sadly, your folks really don't get it... It's ok that you aren't ready to necessarily tell them everything, though. Take it one step at a time. It's nice that your sister is being somewhat supportive.

Try not to get too comfortable. That sigh of exasperation could just be the beginning, so just... stay strong and firm. They could start getting MORE reactionary as it gets closer to your surgery date. Sometimes the emotions come out like, when you start seeing the surgeon, or even post-op.

I'm in the New York capitol region. I hope you can find a satisfactory surgeon, too :3

You're right, I shouldn't get too comfortable o.o Ultimately, I'm going to get this done for me. They know that having these breasts makes me suicidal and is also messing up the nerves in my back. I know its hard for them that I won't "look like a woman" anymore after this, but really, they'll still sort of have their daughter and sister because I'm quite fond of make up and girl clothes.

I'll keep giving updates here, as I'm sure I'll need support from you all as they start to get worse in their reactions because, now that you mention it, they are the kind of people who would follow that pattern of getting abusive as the surgical date nears. Heck, knowing my mom, she might get so upset that she'd attempt to kidnap me before my surgery. But we'll see.

[Desideraht]

MarigoldMari

Desideraht

What's your general area, again? I'm just curious. I've already decided I am likely going to use this international service I found and will likely have my surgery outside of the country. It's a lot cheaper that way, though the travel costs are higher, so we'll see how it pans out for me.

I'm sorry that they're being ridiculous about the surgery. Even if you were a woman, I'm pretty sure a person knows when they don't want to have breasts. But since you're NOT a woman, the notion is pretty ridiculous. Sadly, your folks really don't get it... It's ok that you aren't ready to necessarily tell them everything, though. Take it one step at a time. It's nice that your sister is being somewhat supportive.

Try not to get too comfortable. That sigh of exasperation could just be the beginning, so just... stay strong and firm. They could start getting MORE reactionary as it gets closer to your surgery date. Sometimes the emotions come out like, when you start seeing the surgeon, or even post-op.

I'm in the New York capitol region. I hope you can find a satisfactory surgeon, too :3

You're right, I shouldn't get too comfortable o.o Ultimately, I'm going to get this done for me. They know that having these breasts makes me suicidal and is also messing up the nerves in my back. I know its hard for them that I won't "look like a woman" anymore after this, but really, they'll still sort of have their daughter and sister because I'm quite fond of make up and girl clothes.

I'll keep giving updates here, as I'm sure I'll need support from you all as they start to get worse in their reactions because, now that you mention it, they are the kind of people who would follow that pattern of getting abusive as the surgical date nears. Heck, knowing my mom, she might get so upset that she'd attempt to kidnap me before my surgery. But we'll see.

Nice. And thank you. <3 You are really close to Fischer, you know. O3O

Are you on testosterone? you'll still look feminine until you are. Like I've seen breast cancer patients who had their boobs removed. Still looked female, just didn't have boobs. It won't really hit them until hormones are masculinizing you. People didn't really take my transition very seriously until my voice was dropping.

I'm here for you. whee I know others are as well.

Edit: BTW I feel like I owe you a HUGE thanks for the advice you've been giving me lately. It's all been very helpful. I haven't made any progress yet but you've given me a lot of great ideas. Cheers.

[MarigoldMari]

Desideraht

Nice. And thank you. <3 You are really close to Fischer, you know. O3O

Are you on testosterone? you'll still look feminine until you are. Like I've seen breast cancer patients who had their boobs removed. Still looked female, just didn't have boobs. It won't really hit them until hormones are masculinizing you. People didn't really take my transition very seriously until my voice was dropping.

I'm here for you. whee I know others are as well.

Who is Fischer O:

I've got that bad pcos so my testosterone is wonky and makes me look halfway male anyway. If I don't keep up with upkeep, I can grow a beard and mustache pretty quick and usually have five o'clock shadow, plus more things that are obviously guy like body shape. It takes a hell of a lot to look as girl as I do, with make up tricks and stuff. My family has no idea. I also have to artificially make my voice nasally and high, otherwise I sound like a guy on the phone. They're aware of my testosterone level, but they just don't know how much its made me not look like a girl anymore. I'm thinking that after this surgery I'm going to try to get the testosterone stabilized by some means with my endo, and also increase it some. I'm not sure how my family will react to that, but I'm sure they'll be surprised when I visit after I've stopped the feminine upkeep and they'll really see what this testosterone from my illness has done to me. And I'll just be like, "and what? This is me. Get used to it."

Thank you whee

[Desideraht]

MarigoldMari

Desideraht

Nice. And thank you. <3 You are really close to Fischer, you know. O3O

Are you on testosterone? you'll still look feminine until you are. Like I've seen breast cancer patients who had their boobs removed. Still looked female, just didn't have boobs. It won't really hit them until hormones are masculinizing you. People didn't really take my transition very seriously until my voice was dropping.

I'm here for you. whee I know others are as well.

Who is Fischer O:

I've got that bad pcos so my testosterone is wonky and makes me look halfway male anyway. If I don't keep up with upkeep, I can grow a beard and mustache pretty quick and usually have five o'clock shadow, plus more things that are obviously guy like body shape. It takes a hell of a lot to look as girl as I do, with make up tricks and stuff. My family has no idea. I also have to artificially make my voice nasally and high, otherwise I sound like a guy on the phone. They're aware of my testosterone level, but they just don't know how much its made me not look like a girl anymore. I'm thinking that after this surgery I'm going to try to get the testosterone stabilized by some means with my endo, and also increase it some. I'm not sure how my family will react to that, but I'm sure they'll be surprised when I visit after I've stopped the feminine upkeep and they'll really see what this testosterone from my illness has done to me. And I'll just be like, "and what? This is me. Get used to it."

Thank you whee

You said New York, right? My first choice surgeon was Dr. Brownstein, who's retiring. So my second choice was Dr. Beverly Fischer, in Maryland. It's not like super close but her work is really good, just look at the results on Transbucker, and her prices are also reasonable.

Oh wow. My friend has PCOS but she tries to keep up with it (she's not trans, obviously). From what she's told me, it sounds like a really uncomfortable condition.

I would definitely see an endo. With your particular condition it's difficult. I heard from somewhere (it might have been you whole told me this; I'm not sure) that PCOS is not an ovary condition, but an entire endocrine condition, which makes it fairly complicated to manage.

[MarigoldMari]

Desideraht

You said New York, right? My first choice surgeon was Dr. Brownstein, who's retiring. So my second choice was Dr. Beverly Fischer, in Maryland. It's not like super close but her work is really good, just look at the results on Transbucker, and her prices are also reasonable.

Oh wow. My friend has PCOS but she tries to keep up with it (she's not trans, obviously). From what she's told me, it sounds like a really uncomfortable condition.

I would definitely see an endo. With your particular condition it's difficult. I heard from somewhere (it might have been you whole told me this; I'm not sure) that PCOS is not an ovary condition, but an entire endocrine condition, which makes it fairly complicated to manage.

I checked out Dr Crane who is replacing Brownstein and he sounds really impressive. I'm pretty familiar with the people he trained under, and good lord we ftm's in the U.S are about to get super lucky as far as bottom surgery goes. Maryland, eh? I think I may have bumped into her with my research like four or five years ago. I'll look her up :3 I'm not sure if my insurance will cover surgery outside New York, but if it does and I like her work, then I'll see what I can do. Thanks for telling me about her ^.^ But you know what, the surgeon I'm looking at does a lot of keyhole surgery for males with gynecomastia, and his results are really really good...you may want to check him out. His name is Dr. Steven Lynch.

Hmm...if I do choose Fischer, I could reasonably go to my parents' house to recover, because they live in Virginia. I can kind of imagine me laying in the backseat for that trip to their house. So now because of that reason I'm considering her more even before seeing her work o.o

Yeah, I think I'm the one who told you some things about pcos :3 like a while ago. As it stands now, my endo is pretty sure I was born with a male endocrine system and that's it really.

I'm sorry your friend has pcos, too. Support her the best you can ):

[Desideraht]

MarigoldMari

Desideraht

You said New York, right? My first choice surgeon was Dr. Brownstein, who's retiring. So my second choice was Dr. Beverly Fischer, in Maryland. It's not like super close but her work is really good, just look at the results on Transbucker, and her prices are also reasonable.

Oh wow. My friend has PCOS but she tries to keep up with it (she's not trans, obviously). From what she's told me, it sounds like a really uncomfortable condition.

I would definitely see an endo. With your particular condition it's difficult. I heard from somewhere (it might have been you whole told me this; I'm not sure) that PCOS is not an ovary condition, but an entire endocrine condition, which makes it fairly complicated to manage.

I checked out Dr Crane who is replacing Brownstein and he sounds really impressive. I'm pretty familiar with the people he trained under, and good lord we ftm's in the U.S are about to get super lucky as far as bottom surgery goes. Maryland, eh? I think I may have bumped into her with my research like four or five years ago. I'll look her up :3 I'm not sure if my insurance will cover surgery outside New York, but if it does and I like her work, then I'll see what I can do. Thanks for telling me about her ^.^ But you know what, the surgeon I'm looking at does a lot of keyhole surgery for males with gynecomastia, and his results are really really good...you may want to check him out. His name is Dr. Steven Lynch.

Hmm...if I do choose Fischer, I could reasonably go to my parents' house to recover, because they live in Virginia. I can kind of imagine me laying in the backseat for that trip to their house. So now because of that reason I'm considering her more even before seeing her work o.o

Yeah, I think I'm the one who told you some things about pcos :3 like a while ago. As it stands now, my endo is pretty sure I was born with a male endocrine system and that's it really.

I'm sorry your friend has pcos, too. Support her the best you can ):

I want to see pictures before I decide to go with Crane. If anyone knows where I can see results, I'll reconsider going. Otherwise, I'm terrified. I don't want any issues and it's keyhole so it's pretty delicate. If it's done wrong, it could stretch really weird. What about bottom surgery? I haven't heard this news. >o> I will look into Lynch. How are his prices for keyhole (without insurance)? Fisher is good, really good. Both keyhole and double incision.

I've given up trying to get insurance to cover anything. They always screw me over.

Yeah, she manages. I think her headaches are more troublesome. Both her and her sister have migraines with an unknown cause.