Transtastic ||Support for the proud Trans Population||

Remy is back again....

Please don't kill me. D:	13.8%	[ 185 ]
I'll be nice, I promise.	23.2%	[ 310 ]
I'm back for now, we're all good right?	14.2%	[ 190 ]
Wait... What are you doing with that knife?	48.8%	[ 652 ]
Total Votes:			[ 1337 ]

[Desideraht]

[Q]

@thinking I'm 'not good enough' to be a guy
It's mostly the feeling that, as a female, doing XYZ (guy things) gets me made fun of. But if I transition, as a male, I will still be made fun of, but for ABC(girl things) instead. So it seems like a lose-lose situation.

Hmm, well I got made fun of it in middle school mostly. By high school only a certain group of girls gave me a hard time... then I transitioned. So I feel bad because I can't really relate to this. I am surprised that ADULTS give you a hard time over it.

Quote:

@pronouns not being a big deal
Clarifying my stance on pronouns. Simply, I think in the english language, there's not much difference between gender and sex (that is in our speech). I've adopted pronouns as a sex-distinct pronoun. Meaning that, since I am in fact female, 'she' doesn't really hurt me because it's true.

However, I am only unoffended if I know the person using the female pronoun is doing so strictly because it's sex(and not gender)-based. So in other words, if they treat me like a guy but just happen to use female pronouns, I don't care.

See, I disagree with that entirely. Gender is social, as are gender pronouns. If it was sex-based, we would "verify" the person's sex in some way, i.e. checking for a p***s. We just plain don't do that. Gender is socially accepted, so if someone is calling me "she", they're "socially accepting" me as both a member of the female gender and likely also a member of the female sex, or more often, a member of the female sex, barring whatever gender I "want" to be. Sex "overrides" that social gender when someone thinks you're transgender/transsexual and doesn't like the idea. Then female pronouns become very erasing and dismissive.

I do not feel "she" is true because I have begun my sex change. My body is neither distinctly male nor female despite having strong female traits. I do not feel it is fair to call me female in sex OR gender, so to be called "she" in any situation is off-putting for me. I may have felt different before transition, but that would not change how uncomfortable it would be, because I associate pronouns heavily with social gender. When people call a guy "he", they don't go to verify his p***s, and they don't really think about it either. They just accept his presentation/identity/overall appearance.

If someone was calling me something "purely sex-based," I would be annoyed by them scrutinizing my genitalia/anatomy.

Quote:

@Periods
I really don't care about periods. It comes, I've been having one for 10+ years. It's whatever.
But recently I was diagnosed with PMDD, which kind of confirms some suspicions I've been having. Basically, I just want to ******** kill myself right before my period occurs. At first I thought it was just my depression (which I was diagnosed with as a child), but then I noticed the definite pattern of suicide idealization then period. Feels bad, man.

I would say I have PMDD in the mildest form. Like I get suicidal and s**t, and every month basically "forget" that I'm going to have a period so it's always shocking. I do not by any means "officially" have it because my dysphoria is related to my transsexaulity. But yeah, I experience a number of the symptoms of PMDD. It surprises me how much I hate myself/my body during my period.

[Desideraht]

iiLifeLine

I've seen this thread a few times, but never posted before. I've just been going through some things lately, and really want to get them off my chest.

A) I consider myself a male, while my body is female. But, since I started dating this guy, and seen how he reacts with his daughter, it's kind of made me want to have a child of my own. I've never even thought of this before, and I have no idea why it's happening now, but it's confusing and frustrating..

I'm FtM and pretty sure I want to give birth. Don't let anyone tell you not to. Most people DO want to have kids and we just have the wrong parts but that doesn't stop us from wanting children of our own. Many then argue, "Why not use a surrogate"? Well, first of all, surrogates are VERY expensive, and second, I want to be in full control of prenatal care.

[Desideraht]

Gegaish

I find this mildly irritating and herpy-derpy. Can't you be a little more scientific, and rational sounding? No offense, but I don't appreciate the know-all tone of this thread, and "circle jerk" comment. Please understand that I find this insulting..

The thread is a support thread, not a thread to prove to cisgender people that we're "valid". If they don't "believe" in us, we tend to kick them out of the thread. It's not a place to debate. We will answer "scientific" questions as they come, but the thread itself does not serve that purpose.

We have never had an MtF complain about the "implications" of the circle-jerking comment. I could ask the creator of the thread to have it removed, or we could rewrite some parts of it. This is the original thread opening from like 3 years ago, so it's very outdated.

[Desideraht]

Song of the Century

Gegaish

I find this mildly irritating and herpy-derpy. Can't you be a little more scientific, and rational sounding? No offense, but I don't appreciate the know-all tone of this thread, and "circle jerk" comment. Please understand that I find this insulting..

If you're talking about the first page, that's just some general information--you can PM the guy if some of his information is incorrect. As for it being laid back (I think that's what you're talking about...), this being the LD, it's meant to be that way. The more serious and scientific stuff would be in the ED section of the forums, unless it comes up in conversation here. The terms are mostly just general things that we talk about in the thread commonly.

I don't see anything insulting with the "circle jerk" comment or anything else, could you expand upon what you mean? He was trying to be humorous with that.

Remy is hardly on anymore. It's best to post it in the thread. I talk to him on Facebook a lot, lol. We've talked about me becoming the new thread controller but there is so much drama between me/regulars that we haven't essentially "passed the torch" yet. I also worry that if I get involved in drama and get banned, his account could get banned too. So basically if a change needs to be made or a user needs to be banned, I hit him up about it.

I just don't think he'd reply to or even see PMs, he almost never logs in anymore.

[Jason0690]

Dandrogyny

Stegash0ta

Dandrogyny

I don't know if this will help but, when I'm on the rag I just "accept" it as a part of "having this body". Like, HAVING, not BEING. Yeah, sure, technically I "AM", but I just regard menstruation as a "symptom". It makes things a bit easier than thinking, "Only FILTHY GIRLS have PERIODS" or something sexist/undermining like that. A lot of trans men think it makes them disgusting/filthy to menstruate but it just comes with the female-born package. And like, being born a sex doesn't invalidate us in the slightest. I just don't see how it would. Sure other people talk s**t but this is something they have no real understanding of honestly. It helps me to realize that cisgender people just generally don't get it. They try to but even really supportive cis people only kind of get it.

And every time you ask him for another vanishing act,
he half smiles as if to say...

Oh I'm totally cool with actually having my period, it's just that right before and during I usually get a lot of pain and pretty depressed, although it's better now that I'm on meds for the depression. It's like when people say "in the wrong body," no, this is my body, it comes with its own set of problems and challenges but it's still mine and I wouldn't trade it for the world. It treats me pretty well for the most part.

Also, good luck at your BF's house, I'll be crossing my fingers it goes well for you.

..."Whatever you want,
whatever you want,
whatever you want is fine by me."

My period got worse after T. I do get moody, though. I just accept that it's a part of having estrogen.

It actually went very well. No problems. I even got to spend the night over. 4laugh

No degendering I hope?

[drnachos]

Dandrogyny

drnachos

I might as well spill the beans about whats going on in my life. Just hear me out guys. I am currently 15 years old,I swear I hate the world,hate my body and myself. I just want to be myself or in other words to be a girl. That for me is mostly impossible. Why? Because I'm not old enough to have SRS,it is very expensive,and lastly it basically just inverts your p***s inside out. Your basically just a guy with a mutilated p***s. Nextly I'll probably come out looking like a freak show. No offense to those that have had SRS you are all very brave and I admire you. My next problem is what I'm going to do after high school. All I know is I love history and new languages. Not much in the job markets these days when it comes to history and language. College is another big one. I have the money to go but I just don't know what courses to take. I'm feeling very bad and depressed lately and I have been contemplating suicide. I'm to much of a p***y to do it. *ha ha bad pun* So in all I'm going to suffer. If anyone can suggest anything please do so.

SRS is not what makes you a girl. It's about WHO you are, so if you identify as a girl, you already ARE one! Surgery does not "complete" us, either. It just helps treat the symptoms of transsexuality. It sucks until you can get it fixed but that doesn't mean you're not a girl. Most of us haven't had surgery yet and many of us won't. Many of us just take hormones and that's enough. Often we only take care of what's going on "upstairs" (breast removal or growth/augmentation) and don't do anything "downstairs" because it is expensive or the surgery does not meet our needs.

MtF SRS is not "just" an inverted p***s, though. It is a far more complicated procedure and comes out looking very natural. I cannot say the same for FtMs. WE get mutilated penises that don't resemble penises at all, so most of us do not have SRS. And that doesn't make us not men. MtF SRS is really the more advanced, successful surgery and really your biggest obstacle there is cost. But that's not impossible either. If you want it, you'll save your money. It's going to take me about 1-2 years to save up for my chest surgery. I do hate seeing other people get it so much easier/sooner than me but I'm still getting by. The fact that you can do it eventually is what you have to look forward to.

It all depends on what you consider a "freakshow". Even if an MtF clearly "looks male," I don't think of her as a freak. It's a medical condition. She can only do so much about it. I don't think transsexuals are freaks. I think "normal" people are overrated, honestly. Being "normal" isn't special; they're still "different". Everyone has a reason for being "different".

If you love language there are good military jobs for that, but transsexuals aren't allowed in the military. You COULD be a history or language teacher/professor. Education occupations are needed, you just may need to travel for it. You could also learn a foreign language and work with public relations with foreign countries. Transsexuality does make life more difficult in the job market but not impossible. At least you know what you want to do, though that could change several times in the next few years.

Anyway, you need to just sit tight. 15 is very young, and suicide would be incredibly hasty/premature. Most of us were no where near transitioning at 15. If you have parents who will accept it, you could socially transition, i.e. start living as a girl, and maybe even get on hormone blockers and estrogen. That would make a world of difference for you. Therapy and hormones will really make life much easier for you.

Thanks for your support. My parents are'nt very accepting and when I go to college I need to go someplace thats much more liberal and accepting. Thanks. smile

[Stegsie]

Dandrogyny

Stegash0ta

Dandrogyny

I don't know if this will help but, when I'm on the rag I just "accept" it as a part of "having this body". Like, HAVING, not BEING. Yeah, sure, technically I "AM", but I just regard menstruation as a "symptom". It makes things a bit easier than thinking, "Only FILTHY GIRLS have PERIODS" or something sexist/undermining like that. A lot of trans men think it makes them disgusting/filthy to menstruate but it just comes with the female-born package. And like, being born a sex doesn't invalidate us in the slightest. I just don't see how it would. Sure other people talk s**t but this is something they have no real understanding of honestly. It helps me to realize that cisgender people just generally don't get it. They try to but even really supportive cis people only kind of get it.

And every time you ask him for another vanishing act,
he half smiles as if to say...

Oh I'm totally cool with actually having my period, it's just that right before and during I usually get a lot of pain and pretty depressed, although it's better now that I'm on meds for the depression. It's like when people say "in the wrong body," no, this is my body, it comes with its own set of problems and challenges but it's still mine and I wouldn't trade it for the world. It treats me pretty well for the most part.

Also, good luck at your BF's house, I'll be crossing my fingers it goes well for you.

..."Whatever you want,
whatever you want,
whatever you want is fine by me."

My period got worse after T. I do get moody, though. I just accept that it's a part of having estrogen.

It actually went very well. No problems. I even got to spend the night over. 4laugh

And every time you ask him for another vanishing act,
he half smiles as if to say...

Oh dear, I haven't really heard about that happening before. I hope that doesn't happen to me if I ever get on T. I'm just hoping to even get birth control soon, I hate the depression and pain that comes once a month. My mom keeps trying to put it off by saying I don't have enough evidence that it doesn't cause certain cancers when taking it for a prolonged period of time, but she doesn't have enough evidence that it does.

Awesome though! Glad it went well for you.

..."Whatever you want,
whatever you want,
whatever you want is fine by me."

[Gegaish]

Dandrogyny

Gegaish

I find this mildly irritating and herpy-derpy. Can't you be a little more scientific, and rational sounding? No offense, but I don't appreciate the know-all tone of this thread, and "circle jerk" comment. Please understand that I find this insulting..

The thread is a support thread, not a thread to prove to cisgender people that we're "valid". If they don't "believe" in us, we tend to kick them out of the thread. It's not a place to debate. We will answer "scientific" questions as they come, but the thread itself does not serve that purpose.

We have never had an MtF complain about the "implications" of the circle-jerking comment. I could ask the creator of the thread to have it removed, or we could rewrite some parts of it. This is the original thread opening from like 3 years ago, so it's very outdated.

Well it's really invalidating in itself, the way things like this tend to be written. And I'm a FTM, (my avatar has nothing do do what that sweatdrop ) and the implications are not what's wrong with that comment. It makes it seem as if we're sex-starved slobs waiting for a hoard of fetishists to come blow their loads on our faces. I wasn't thinking of FTM's doing a circle jerk, at all.. I can't picture that ever happening, somehow.. lol. This doesn't really explain exactly *what* a trans-person is.. but it has a glossary loosely defining all sorts of terms, and saying how we're "in the wrong body", but doesn't discuss what that means. Some people feel that way on a spiritual level about it, but others are a lot more scientific about it like me.. I wonder sometimes if people realize, you DO know cisgendered people think you're outright crazy when you say you're in the wrong body, right? And also, saying it like that can be a bit confusing to younger people.. They might not relate the feelings they have with something that sounds as crazy as that..
Nothing wrong with a support thread; it's refreshing, but I don't see it as supportive if it just feels like it makes me look crazy.

[Seraph of Thursday]

Gegaish

I find it surprising someone even reads the OP anymore, truthfully.

[Gegaish]

Oblivion Blades

Gegaish

I find it surprising someone even reads the OP anymore, truthfully.

New to the forums, more or less

[Surviv0r Guilt]

Dandrogyny

iiLifeLine

I've seen this thread a few times, but never posted before. I've just been going through some things lately, and really want to get them off my chest.

A) I consider myself a male, while my body is female. But, since I started dating this guy, and seen how he reacts with his daughter, it's kind of made me want to have a child of my own. I've never even thought of this before, and I have no idea why it's happening now, but it's confusing and frustrating..

I'm FtM and pretty sure I want to give birth. Don't let anyone tell you not to. Most people DO want to have kids and we just have the wrong parts but that doesn't stop us from wanting children of our own. Many then argue, "Why not use a surrogate"? Well, first of all, surrogates are VERY expensive, and second, I want to be in full control of prenatal care.

I'm completely against surrogacy. Hell, I'd adopt before that. I wouldn't be able to watch the person go through the pregnancy when I could have at one point done that myself, or still had the parts to have a child myself. Just seams like.. I don't know, a tease. I applaud the ones who are strong enough to go through that, but I wouldn't be able to.

[Umbral_Necropolitan]

Gegaish

Dandrogyny

Gegaish

I find this mildly irritating and herpy-derpy. Can't you be a little more scientific, and rational sounding? No offense, but I don't appreciate the know-all tone of this thread, and "circle jerk" comment. Please understand that I find this insulting..

The thread is a support thread, not a thread to prove to cisgender people that we're "valid". If they don't "believe" in us, we tend to kick them out of the thread. It's not a place to debate. We will answer "scientific" questions as they come, but the thread itself does not serve that purpose.

We have never had an MtF complain about the "implications" of the circle-jerking comment. I could ask the creator of the thread to have it removed, or we could rewrite some parts of it. This is the original thread opening from like 3 years ago, so it's very outdated.

Well it's really invalidating in itself, the way things like this tend to be written. And I'm a FTM, (my avatar has nothing do do what that sweatdrop ) and the implications are not what's wrong with that comment. It makes it seem as if we're sex-starved slobs waiting for a hoard of fetishists to come blow their loads on our faces. I wasn't thinking of FTM's doing a circle jerk, at all.. I can't picture that ever happening, somehow.. lol. This doesn't really explain exactly *what* a trans-person is.. but it has a glossary loosely defining all sorts of terms, and saying how we're "in the wrong body", but doesn't discuss what that means. Some people feel that way on a spiritual level about it, but others are a lot more scientific about it like me.. I wonder sometimes if people realize, you DO know cisgendered people think you're outright crazy when you say you're in the wrong body, right? And also, saying it like that can be a bit confusing to younger people.. They might not relate the feelings they have with something that sounds as crazy as that..
Nothing wrong with a support thread; it's refreshing, but I don't see it as supportive if it just feels like it makes me look crazy.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=circle jerk
read definition 3.

Or
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=circlejerk
pretty much all of first ones.
Its not taking the money shot from a bunch of guys. (that would be bukkake)

[That Is All]

Did my hair and make-up again today, feeling pretty awesome. Can't wait until I start hormones so I can look less like a drag queen and more like a prom queen. emotion_awesome

[Desideraht]

Jason0690

Dandrogyny

Stegash0ta

Dandrogyny

I don't know if this will help but, when I'm on the rag I just "accept" it as a part of "having this body". Like, HAVING, not BEING. Yeah, sure, technically I "AM", but I just regard menstruation as a "symptom". It makes things a bit easier than thinking, "Only FILTHY GIRLS have PERIODS" or something sexist/undermining like that. A lot of trans men think it makes them disgusting/filthy to menstruate but it just comes with the female-born package. And like, being born a sex doesn't invalidate us in the slightest. I just don't see how it would. Sure other people talk s**t but this is something they have no real understanding of honestly. It helps me to realize that cisgender people just generally don't get it. They try to but even really supportive cis people only kind of get it.

And every time you ask him for another vanishing act,
he half smiles as if to say...

Oh I'm totally cool with actually having my period, it's just that right before and during I usually get a lot of pain and pretty depressed, although it's better now that I'm on meds for the depression. It's like when people say "in the wrong body," no, this is my body, it comes with its own set of problems and challenges but it's still mine and I wouldn't trade it for the world. It treats me pretty well for the most part.

Also, good luck at your BF's house, I'll be crossing my fingers it goes well for you.

..."Whatever you want,
whatever you want,
whatever you want is fine by me."

My period got worse after T. I do get moody, though. I just accept that it's a part of having estrogen.

It actually went very well. No problems. I even got to spend the night over. 4laugh

No degendering I hope?

None. But their form of degendering isn't like, calling me a" girl" or anything as much as it's like, "Who are you kidding, you'll never be a man." And yeah, it never got brought up. Basically his mom thinks hormones don't work as well as they actually do. She's said (in the past):

1. Hormones cause cancer
2. They make you fat
3. They will never make a "little girl" look like a man
4. They make you ugly
5. Your body isn't "designed" to take hormones of the other sex
6. Transitioning will ruin your chances of getting a good job
7. You will never live a "normal" life
8. That HRT specifically gives you mood swings/rage issues (permanently)

Like she is totally unaware of successful trans people and considers any examples given to her to be the exception not the rule. She thinks Chaz Bono is the rule when his OBESITY is an exception. She won't take any evidence because she's a biochemist (mind you, that is NO WHERE NEAR an endocrinologist), so she thinks she knows everything. She ******** works in a lab. She does not work with humans. And she's even sworn up and down that rats aren't the same as humans so anything we test on the doesn't prove anything yet she thinks she knows everything about HRT. It's obvious that she hasn't done a lick of research without just outright dismissing any sources that don't agree with her view. She thinks "a trans" is desperate to prove that what they're doing is medically acceptable, therefore there are many "fake" sources out there, and doctors "give in" (i.e. anything MY doctor said doesn't count). rolleyes