Autism,Let's Talk

[Steeple]

Hikarulawl

You're lucky your neurological disorder is actually acknowledge. Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, and Dyscalculia. Most people barely knows what Dyslexia is. Almost everyone don't even have a clue what the other two are. You should be glad you are currently the subject of "fascination." That just means you are getting the necessary help/accommodation for your disorder.

I wish it worked like that. Ppl might ahve heard of it before, and even express willingness to help, but time and again, as soon as i start actually, you know, acting autistc, allistic ppl get confused, frustrated, even angry at me.

I can understand your frustration with a lack of awareness, but. Well, not all awareness is good. Most mentions of autism now are either scare tactics or inspiration porn. Each situation - anonymity vs bad press - has its own problems, and can't really be compared.

So, im sorry ppl with those conditions struggle to get recognition. But lets not pit neurodivergence against each other, ok?

[The Neon Paradox]

Miss Ruckus

The Neon Paradox

I'll be honest, I don't know tonnes about autism. I did go to university with a guy who had Aspergers and that is as much personal insight that i've had.

Having an autistic child is actually my number one fear about having children. Since its not something you will know about till a child is born and getting older, and you don't know where in the spectrum they will be. I honestly feel like I wouldn't be able to cope, I certainly don't have the patience for to be a good parent to an autistic child either.

яυcкυs sαчs...

I'm so glad you are being honest with your fears
I didn't think I could do it either when he first started showing signs
but you learn because your love overcomes the fear,
I'm not a super patient person TBH sometimes I flip my lid wen it comes to
my son, but that is a part of parenthood none of us are perfect biggrin
Maybe if you have any questions I could help maybe ease some of that fear
<3

Thank you. I'm sure its a situation that you learn to deal with it as you are faced with it.

I think the fear comes from just not knowing until its happened, but mixed in with what I do as a career. I work for my local authority in one of the fostering departments. Though I mainly work with foster carers, I do have to do daily reports of the children's behaviour and attend their therapeutic foster carer/foster child group. While the children we have at the moment arn't autistic, they are troubled and their behaviour is incredibly testing. Because I hear about it and see it for myself, I basically know I can't handle a child with behavioural difficulties.

My main worry about having children is having a child who couldn't live a normal life. Like if I had a child that required a wheelchair, or was blind or deaf, they could still have reasonable adjustments and lead a normal life. I'd worry a severely autistic child could not, the same with a child that had severe downs syndrome. Except you can have screening for Down Syndrome.

Do you ever worry about that? I'm not sure how severe your son's autism is, but do you ever worry you'd still be looking after him in your old age?

[Hikarulawl]

Steeple

Hikarulawl

You're lucky your neurological disorder is actually acknowledge. Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, and Dyscalculia. Most people barely knows what Dyslexia is. Almost everyone don't even have a clue what the other two are. You should be glad you are currently the subject of "fascination." That just means you are getting the necessary help/accommodation for your disorder.

I wish it worked like that. Ppl might ahve heard of it before, and even express willingness to help, but time and again, as soon as i start actually, you know, acting autistc, allistic ppl get confused, frustrated, even angry at me.

I can understand your frustration with a lack of awareness, but. Well, not all awareness is good. Most mentions of autism now are either scare tactics or inspiration porn. Each situation - anonymity vs bad press - has its own problems, and can't really be compared.

So, im sorry ppl with those conditions struggle to get recognition. But lets not pit neurodivergence against each other, ok?

Ok I kinda see it from your side. Fair enough.

[Steeple]

The Neon Paradox

Miss Ruckus

The Neon Paradox

I'll be honest, I don't know tonnes about autism. I did go to university with a guy who had Aspergers and that is as much personal insight that i've had.

Having an autistic child is actually my number one fear about having children. Since its not something you will know about till a child is born and getting older, and you don't know where in the spectrum they will be. I honestly feel like I wouldn't be able to cope, I certainly don't have the patience for to be a good parent to an autistic child either.

яυcкυs sαчs...

I'm so glad you are being honest with your fears
I didn't think I could do it either when he first started showing signs
but you learn because your love overcomes the fear,
I'm not a super patient person TBH sometimes I flip my lid wen it comes to
my son, but that is a part of parenthood none of us are perfect biggrin
Maybe if you have any questions I could help maybe ease some of that fear
<3

Thank you. I'm sure its a situation that you learn to deal with it as you are faced with it.

I think the fear comes from just not knowing until its happened, but mixed in with what I do as a career. I work for my local authority in one of the fostering departments. Though I mainly work with foster carers, I do have to do daily reports of the children's behaviour and attend their therapeutic foster carer/foster child group. While the children we have at the moment arn't autistic, they are troubled and their behaviour is incredibly testing. Because I hear about it and see it for myself, I basically know I can't handle a child with behavioural difficulties.

My main worry about having children is having a child who couldn't live a normal life. Like if I had a child that required a wheelchair, or was blind or deaf, they could still have reasonable adjustments and lead a normal life. I'd worry a severely autistic child could not, the same with a child that had severe downs syndrome. Except you can have screening for Down Syndrome.

Do you ever worry about that? I'm not sure how severe your son's autism is, but do you ever worry you'd still be looking after him in your old age?

If you can't handle having a disabled kid, don't have children. Simple as that.

[Valixrae]

My middle child is on the spectrum, he has OCD, SPD, ODD, and they think a little tourettes as well as Aspergers.

He's such a smart kid though, I love him but hate what he has to go through and how hard things can be for him. He says he wouldn't change it for the world though, and that's enough for me heart

[The Neon Paradox]

Steeple

If you can't handle having a disabled kid, don't have children. Simple as that.

Except it isn't that simple, and thank you for ignoring my entire post. Nowhere I did say I couldn't handle a disabled child.

Also, thanks for your useless input I didn't ask for, and kindly do one.

[MiameMiame]

My mom thought I'd have autism (aspergers) for a long time. I didn't get tested but I honestly don't think I have it. I have never befriended/encountered someone with autism, I don't know what it is like.

[Steeple]

The Neon Paradox

Except it isn't that simple, and thank you for ignoring my entire post. Nowhere I did say I couldn't handle a disabled child.

Also, thanks for your useless input I didn't ask for, and kindly do one.

I think it is

Quote:

I basically know I can't handle a child with behavioural difficulties.

My main worry about having children is having a child who couldn't live a normal life. Like if I had a child that required a wheelchair, or was blind or deaf, they could still have reasonable adjustments and lead a normal life. I'd worry a severely autistic child could not, the same with a child that had severe downs syndrome.

bolding mine for emphasis.

im glad you know your limits. most people dont even think about it. But if you can't handle a developmentally disabled child, then you shouldn't have children.

too many parents abuse and murder us bc of how we're born, because they "can't handle" us, because the majority never expected to have offspring like us. So unless you can expect and prepare for that, don't have kids.

[intergalacticSpaceKitten]

I am autistic and I would like to encourage to read writing that is all over the internet by autistic adults. I'd encourage you to research autism acceptance and the neurodiversity movement/paradigm.

This is only one link, but it will get you started and has more links within it:
http://neurocosmopolitanism.com/throw-away-the-masters-tools-liberating-ourselves-from-the-pathology-paradigm/

There isn't one day where I wish I wasn't autistic, and I encourage you to find it in yourself to feel the same way about your son.

You seem like you love your son and really want to help him, full acceptance will help him most. smile

[Wigwam the Dodo]

MiameMiame

My mom thought I'd have autism (aspergers) for a long time. I didn't get tested but I honestly don't think I have it. I have never befriended/encountered someone with autism, I don't know what it is like.

I my experience, which may be limited and not entirely accurate, it's just a case of those people don't quite catch onto unspoken nuance
Things sometimes have to be explicitly mentioned that you would otherwise be able to communicate with a simple noise or gesture.

It's not the worst thing really but this whole mess is a massively wide spectrum of s**t anyway so no personal account will be totally relatable anyway.

[MiameMiame]

Wigwam the Dodo

MiameMiame

My mom thought I'd have autism (aspergers) for a long time. I didn't get tested but I honestly don't think I have it. I have never befriended/encountered someone with autism, I don't know what it is like.

I my experience, which may be limited and not entirely accurate, it's just a case of those people don't quite catch onto unspoken nuance
Things sometimes have to be explicitly mentioned that you would otherwise be able to communicate with a simple noise or gesture.

It's not the worst thing really but this whole mess is a massively wide spectrum of s**t anyway so no personal account will be totally relatable anyway.

My mom has no degree of psychology, so she definetly is not in the position to diagnose me. She mostly is refering to me not being able to catch unspoken things like sarcasm. There's a fine line between something being a quirk and being a disorder.

[xChibi Cannibalx]

Steeple

Thank you. I'm sure its a situation that you learn to deal with it as you are faced with it.

I think the fear comes from just not knowing until its happened, but mixed in with what I do as a career. I work for my local authority in one of the fostering departments. Though I mainly work with foster carers, I do have to do daily reports of the children's behaviour and attend their therapeutic foster carer/foster child group. While the children we have at the moment arn't autistic, they are troubled and their behaviour is incredibly testing. Because I hear about it and see it for myself, I basically know I can't handle a child with behavioural difficulties.

My main worry about having children is having a child who couldn't live a normal life. Like if I had a child that required a wheelchair, or was blind or deaf, they could still have reasonable adjustments and lead a normal life. I'd worry a severely autistic child could not, the same with a child that had severe downs syndrome. Except you can have screening for Down Syndrome.

Do you ever worry about that? I'm not sure how severe your son's autism is, but do you ever worry you'd still be looking after him in your old age?

Going to agree with the other user: if you cant handle that possibility, dont have kids. You can always look to adopt, though. Im sure they would tell you if the kid/baby you want has any illnesses or not

[Miss Ruckus]

Valixrae

My middle child is on the spectrum, he has OCD, SPD, ODD, and they think a little tourettes as well as Aspergers.

He's such a smart kid though, I love him but hate what he has to go through and how hard things can be for him. He says he wouldn't change it for the world though, and that's enough for me heart

яυcкυs sαчs...

It is hard to watch the struggle for me sometimes. Christmas was an odd time
for him, he seemed very confused by presents but he did enjoy himself with them after someone unwrapped for him smile Tho my aunts xmas party didn't go so well...too many people to much noise and commotion for him. He was on huge sensory overload for sure

[Valixrae]

Miss Ruckus

Valixrae

My middle child is on the spectrum, he has OCD, SPD, ODD, and they think a little tourettes as well as Aspergers.

He's such a smart kid though, I love him but hate what he has to go through and how hard things can be for him. He says he wouldn't change it for the world though, and that's enough for me heart

яυcкυs sαчs...

It is hard to watch the struggle for me sometimes. Christmas was an odd time
for him, he seemed very confused by presents but he did enjoy himself with them after someone unwrapped for him smile Tho my aunts xmas party didn't go so well...too many people to much noise and commotion for him. He was on huge sensory overload for sure

I'm lucky that as he's gotten older, he's been able to.. blend in much better, I can tell when he's over loaded though, and emotionally things are really hard for him to express. I took him to a garden show once and he got so overloaded that we had to leave half way through. That was last year and just after he was diagnosed. Sadly he was 12 when he was diagnosed, I wish he were younger as there is so much help with early intervention for spectrum kids here.

Him being an adult is what worries me the most, when they're kids people are a lot more open and understanding, but when you're an adult you're just the weird guy. D:

By emotionally hard, I mean.. he doesn't want people to see him cry, he's a sensitive little thing but he bottles up so, so much and it just eats away at him. This year was the worst he's ever been thanks to his now ex step dad, but he's started coming out of his shell and talking to people which has been great.

[Laili]

My little brother as Asperger's. It's a moderate form of it from what we were told.

He is 22 now. He has held a good job (which fired him for no damn reason). Stayed out of trouble. And he manages his fiances well.

He loves to collect Lego kits and Transformers and is a big fan of Transformers. He likes the puzzle solving of building a Lego Kit (His latest that we got him for Christmas was the Star Wars Imperial AT-AT) and transforming a Transformer.

Still. He's my little bro. smile