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Noxidot's avatar

Distinct Loiterer

I brought this to extended discussion with an over abundance of frustration.

I'm a teenage mother (17 years old) and constantly get dirty looks from people who don't know me. I am a graduate with good GPA and am working on getting my own business started.

I don't understand where this overly used bias against teenage pregnancy came from. Back in the time of Kingdoms and castles, Shakespeare, and Renaissance, you started having children when you were a "woman" which was the day you started your menstrual cycles.

My mother is an RN with 7 years of college who condones teenage pregnancy (if the teenager of course, is being responsible) because of how well women do giving birth earlier in life than later. The facts are there. It is highly recommended women above mid-twenties and up don't have more children due to the high chances of retardation in a fetus. This is caused because the body is older and can't catch something wrong with an egg that plants itself. When you're young, your body causes a natural humane abortion if there is something wrong. Yet for some reason everywhere it states women between the ages of 20-30 are "in their prime". I was a healthy infant born to my mother when she was 19. She had twins she carried to 3 months that she miscarried at 25, then she had my sister when she was nearly 27. My sister had a terrible speech impediment for nearly 5 years and had to ride the special needs bus until she was 8. Observing women who had children at later ages, they're often more hyper-active offspring.

I know three of seven mothers who had multiple children for financial reasons at the age of 30-40. Now they have a child with down syndrome.

Another irritating thing to me is there was a woman talking crap about me for being a 17 year old mother. She lives off of welfare, has 5 kids, and smoke/drank through her pregnancies. How is it fair that as much as I try to be a fitting parent, I can't be in the eyes of even the most unfit people just because of my age?

I quit using drugs, I took additional classes to graduate on time, and I saved money and prepared for my child's arrival. Now that she's here, I stay at home with her so that she is given enough love and affection for a proper development.

Of course in the case of a mother being a teenager and passing her child off to go out and party isn't proper parenting. We're discussing when a teenager is willing to be a parent figure instead of a, well, teenager. I know a teenage mother who smoked through out her pregnancy and after her child was born, she would stand at absolute most three feet away from him and smoke cigarettes. Not that she isn't loving, but I believe that's what gives teenage mother's a bad reputation. Yet when we see an adult woman do that, we make a comment usually in our mind and then look the other way.

So Extended Discussion, what is your opinion on teenage pregnancy?
Why is it that I'm a terrible, horrible, unfit parent just because of my age?
Because it makes them feel better about their own situation.
Knobist's avatar

Hilarious Prophet

I think teenage pregnancy is awful and totally not acceptable in most cases because adolescents usually aren't fit to deal with other people. I'm trying to develop my own sense of self and I feel I can't do that with a child to raise.
Noxidot's avatar

Distinct Loiterer

Jacque De Molay
I think teenage pregnancy is awful and totally not acceptable in most cases because adolescents usually aren't fit to deal with other people. I'm trying to develop my own sense of self and I feel I can't do that with a child to raise.

I can understand that.
Knobist's avatar

Hilarious Prophet

Noxidot
Jacque De Molay
I think teenage pregnancy is awful and totally not acceptable in most cases because adolescents usually aren't fit to deal with other people. I'm trying to develop my own sense of self and I feel I can't do that with a child to raise.

I can understand that.
I'm happy that you understand my point of view and you're not attacking me for it.
Epitome_Mia's avatar

Distinct Dabbler

Pregnancy scares me in general.

On topic, I was an accident baby and my mom was never very mature until much later in my life.
Unfortunately there is a bad stereo type out there of teen moms. We are currently living in a society were teenagers aren’t seen as adults until they turn 18. It is kind of like voting. At 17 I can guarantee I was whole lot more politically aware than my sister who was 22, at the time, but I didn’t get to vote. She did. Having a child is seen as an “adult thing” not a “child thing” (or teenager thing).
Along with that most teenage pregnancies are unplanned. So when people see a teen parent they feel they are not ready to be a parent. As harsh as it sounds I believe that some of society thinks of it this way: If you can’t remember to take a pill or cover it up, then how are you to be ready to raise a child. On the other hand I don’t believe all is society is that harsh and that others feel bad for the parents. Many people I have talked to regarding teen parents feel that the teenagers have so much going for them, and that they will not be able to reach their dreams until their own child is in school or until they are able to afford daycare.
I think that the more teen moms, like you, who step-up to the plate when they have their babies the more society will accept the teen parenting (I hope that made sense).
low iq 111's avatar

Familiar Friend

wow that's bad... what is the business you plan on starting, jw?
Noxidot's avatar

Distinct Loiterer

Sweet_Thing46666
Unfortunately there is a bad stereo type out there of teen moms. We are currently living in a society were teenagers aren’t seen as adults until they turn 18. It is kind of like voting. At 17 I can guarantee I was whole lot more politically aware than my sister who was 22, at the time, but I didn’t get to vote. She did. Having a child is seen as an “adult thing” not a “child thing” (or teenager thing).
Along with that most teenage pregnancies are unplanned. So when people see a teen parent they feel they are not ready to be a parent. As harsh as it sounds I believe that some of society thinks of it this way: If you can’t remember to take a pill or cover it up, then how are you to be ready to raise a child. On the other hand I don’t believe all is society is that harsh and that others feel bad for the parents. Many people I have talked to regarding teen parents feel that the teenagers have so much going for them, and that they will not be able to reach their dreams until their own child is in school or until they are able to afford daycare.
I think that the more teen moms, like you, who step-up to the plate when they have their babies the more society will accept the teen parenting (I hope that made sense).

I enjoyed reading your opinions.
Thank you. smile
As a certified old guy, I implore you people to stop being young and fertile, because I am not. That's the whole deal, and why I will vote for legislation that favors the responsible and childless eighteen year old who intends to use sex as a tool to procreate and spread their legacy of achievement like me.
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Mostly because when you're seventeen you aren't financially able to care for you child on your own. You finished high school, great. But you can't go to college because you have a baby to look after, which lowers your chances of a well paying career significantly.
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victor gusta queso
Mostly because when you're seventeen you aren't financially able to care for you child on your own. You finished high school, great. But you can't go to college because you have a baby to look after, which lowers your chances of a well paying career significantly.

People that start having their children in their teens are usually the ones that end up jobless and on welfare because they can't support their families but they keep having children none the less. Not that I'm saying this is what you're going to do, but it is what usually happens when people start having babies before they have a stable career path.
******** other people. It's none of their business and they have no right to judge. If you're a good parent and are acting like a mature, responsible adult then age isn't a big deal.

The judgement you're receiving is not just because you have a kid at a young age. It's because you had to have sex to have that kid. And teen girls who have sex are sluts, obviously. <--Sarcasm
It really irks me that when guys have sex "it's just what they do because they're guys." Sometimes it's even something to encourage. But when a girl does it, well that's not right. Double standards are stupid.


I have to agree with the people above that there are a LOT of teens who are just unfit parents. I've seen them in my class. They're immature and don't take care of their kids.

BUT, I have a close friend who had an unplanned pregnancy and she was mature, knew how to take care of a kid, and had the support of her boyfriend and both of their families. So they had things together pretty well.

The same thing can be said about adults though. Some are horrible parents and some are great. It all comes down to how mature you are and that's not always about age.


P.S. That bear design is awesome. I hope your business goes well. smile
victor gusta queso
Mostly because when you're seventeen you aren't financially able to care for you child on your own. You finished high school, great. But you can't go to college because you have a baby to look after, which lowers your chances of a well paying career significantly.


This is thankfully becoming less and less true though. A lot of colleges are opening day cares for moms in college. As a mom you can usually get more from financial aid to cover day care costs. And most people can get on well with an Associates degree. A couple years at a community college is what most businesses are satisfied with. It's cheaper than university anyways.

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