Noxidot
I brought this to extended discussion with an over abundance of frustration.
please keep in mind that this means your opinion is 100% bias and possibly not rational because of this.
Quote:
I'm a teenage mother (17 years old) and constantly get dirty looks from people who don't know me. I am a graduate with good GPA and am working on getting my own business started.
right when you're starting your life and working on getting something started up is generally not the best time to give yourself a bunch of unnecessary responsibility.
Quote:
I don't understand where this overly used bias against teenage pregnancy came from. Back in the time of Kingdoms and castles, Shakespeare, and Renaissance, you started having children when you were a "woman" which was the day you started your menstrual cycles.
yeah and they also died at the average age of 35.
Quote:
My mother is an RN with 7 years of college who condones teenage pregnancy (if the teenager of course, is being responsible)
which most likely isn't the case, most of them do it accidentally and are in no way ready for it and tend to have their parents raise their child because of this.
Quote:
because of how well women do giving birth earlier in life than later. The facts are there. It is highly recommended women above mid-twenties and up don't have more children due to the high chances of retardation in a fetus.
I'd like to see your source on this, because I just did some research real quick on this and the time that is recommended to stop having children is around thirty-five or forty.
Quote:
This is caused because the body is older and can't catch something wrong with an egg that plants itself. When you're young, your body causes a natural humane abortion if there is something wrong.
this is not always true, actually. it's possible for a younger woman to have a difficult pregnancy without her body naturally aborting the child.
not only that, but I did some research and teenage pregnancy actually has a tendency to cause high blood pressure [
source].
Quote:
Yet for some reason everywhere it states women between the ages of 20-30 are "in their prime".
that's because they physically are. when you're a teenager your body isn't done growing yet. by twenty you're a fully grown adult, so that's considered your prime since you're fully grown but not yet old.
Quote:
I was a healthy infant born to my mother when she was 19. She had twins she carried to 3 months that she miscarried at 25, then she had my sister when she was nearly 27. My sister had a terrible speech impediment for nearly 5 years and had to ride the special needs bus until she was 8. Observing women who had children at later ages, they're often more hyper-active offspring.
this is your personal experience, not actual fact and it's not always the case.
Quote:
I know three of seven mothers who had multiple children for financial reasons at the age of 30-40. Now they have a child with down syndrome.
what the hell are the odds of knowing three people who happen to be around the same age that ALL had children with down syndrome?
that sounds like an awfully big coincidence and is rare enough to not really have a place in this conversation.
Quote:
Another irritating thing to me is there was a woman talking crap about me for being a 17 year old mother. She lives off of welfare, has 5 kids, and smoke/drank through her pregnancies. How is it fair that as much as I try to be a fitting parent, I can't be in the eyes of even the most unfit people just because of my age?
you're both unfit parents from what I can tell, just for different reasons.
so you used to be a drug user..
Quote:
I took additional classes to graduate on time,
you had to bust your a** to finish school so that way you could take care of a kid... (this sounds like a responsibility that you wouldn't have had to deal with had you not gotten pregnant)
Quote:
and I saved money and prepared for my child's arrival.
enough money to raise a child? that's an awful lot of money that sounds like it took an awful lot of work to get that you wouldn't have had to do had you not gotten pregnant at such an inconvenient age.
Quote:
Now that she's here, I stay at home with her so that she is given enough love and affection for a proper development.
so you don't have a job, meaning you don't have an income? who is paying for everything? are you still living with your mother? where is the father that you've decided to not mention in the op?
Quote:
Of course in the case of a mother being a teenager and passing her child off to go out and party isn't proper parenting. We're discussing when a teenager is willing to be a parent figure instead of a, well, teenager.
you have no clue how rare this really is.
Quote:
I know a teenage mother who smoked through out her pregnancy and after her child was born, she would stand at absolute most three feet away from him and smoke cigarettes. Not that she isn't loving, but I believe that's what gives teenage mother's a bad reputation.
it's not just teenage mothers that smoke while pregnant, for one. and two, she's not the only one that's giving teenage mothers a bad reputation.
Quote:
Yet when we see an adult woman do that, we make a comment usually in our mind and then look the other way.
right, we judge them as well, just as you stated. they're adults though and fit to make decisions like this as they're done growing emotionally and physically.
Quote:
So Extended Discussion, what is your opinion on teenage pregnancy?
I think I've made my point fairly obvious. I don't think it's the brightest idea.
Quote:
Why is it that I'm a terrible, horrible, unfit parent just because of my age?
It's not just because of your age:
1) you're an ex drug user
2) you had to work your a** off both at school and to get money to prepare for the child, which are two things that you had to do simply because it is a bad time to have a child and you weren't ready beforehand.
3) you don't have an income.
4) you don't seem to have a partner anywhere to help you out with this besides your mother, which just means you put an unnecessary burden on her.
I'm sorry, I understand that your situation is what it is, but that does not mean that you should be promoting it as a healthy thing to do.