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Evil Asparagus
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Mostly because when you're seventeen you aren't financially able to care for you child on your own. You finished high school, great. But you can't go to college because you have a baby to look after, which lowers your chances of a well paying career significantly.


This is thankfully becoming less and less true though. A lot of colleges are opening day cares for moms in college. As a mom you can usually get more from financial aid to cover day care costs. And most people can get on well with an Associates degree. A couple years at a community college is what most businesses are satisfied with. It's cheaper than university anyways.


There are also tons of online programs or online classes (especially for AA) at a traditional college. One of my good friends had her first at 16 and her second at 19. She is 22 now and has one more semester left for her BSBA degree and is also getting married (to the baby daddy) this spring. People just don't want to see a teenager being more successful and mature than themselves, in my opinion.
Stale Humor's avatar

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Because children shouldn't have children. When you speak about the past, it also wasn't normal for people to live very long, and women often died in childbirth. Society has changed, and now we live long enough to actually enjoy childhood.
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I don't care about teenage pregnancies, so long as the child is cared for. That is the most important thing, less so the age of the mother so long as it is legal.
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Well, back in the day, there was no real adolescence; you went from child to adult; therefore, you married and entered womanhood as soon as physically possible. The world also worked differently, as single motherhood was rare, and less jobs required higher education. Society changed, so standards changed. Though it is true that it's better for young women to bear a child, I think waiting until your early 20s is fine. Also, you mentioned your mother having a child at 27 who had a speech impediment, but that's a fairly common age to have children, and most don't have such problems. I was born to my mother while she was 27, and I was a normal healthy child
Sermanther's avatar

Dapper Gawker

Are you really going to compare it to Shakespearean times? That's like saying it's okay to cut a hole in a person's skull to relieve headaches today because it worked back then.

Back then, you didn't really need a job to survive. A 13-year-old could get by in life by doing labor work. He'd grow his own corn, build his own shelter, and grow his own cows as well to make sure he, his wife, and children could survive. They were self-employed, and money wasn't as important then as it is now.

Today, you have to 99% rely on money. Unlike them, you needed an education. Even in today's age, you need at least a college degree to financially get by. Back then, they grew up faster because they were put in the adult world faster. Today, we're coddled up until we're 18, sometimes even older. It's a way different generation back then. In today's age, it's completely irresponsible, impulsive, and selfish to have a kid as a teenager.
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Dapper Phantom

I honestly think that teenage pregnancy is terrible in the way that most teenage parents don't take responsibility. (Though, I'm happy to hear that you're fully responsible for your child! I'm glad to hear that you're still going on in life and whatnot despite the situation.)

I've seen plenty of teenage parents have TERRIBLE responsibility for their child. I swear, half the time one parent leaves because they don't want to deal with such a thing. I have yet to experience ONE teenage couple who actually knows that they're doing right for their child.

Also, it costs a lot of money to raise a newborn baby. All that diaper costs, food, clothes--a lot of teenagers don't have a job yet or their job isn't well-paying, and really it's not their parents' own responsibility to take care of the money issues within the family. Those things are expensive, and the parent of the child should be the one paying for his/her child.

Teenage pregnancy is like a taboo among other people. Many people think that teens shouldn't have such a responsibility until they're at least out of school because it messes with the teen's studies. Not to mention that teens are often though of as "pure and innocent" until they get out of high school anyhow.
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Because most teenagers aren't prepared to take care of a baby by themselves. Less time, less skills, and less money. How many teenagers work a job that gets them enough money to support themselves AND a baby?

There are exceptions, sure. But the large majority of teenagers aren't good for babies.
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marshmallowcreampie
Because most teenagers aren't prepared to take care of a baby by themselves. Less time, less skills, and less money. How many teenagers work a job that gets them enough money to support themselves AND a baby?

There are exceptions, sure. But the large majority of teenagers aren't good for babies.
I'm not sure if you're totally correct but because you said what I wanted to hear I could care less whether you're correct or not.
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booiscaredjoo
I honestly think that teenage pregnancy is terrible in the way that most teenage parents don't take responsibility. (Though, I'm happy to hear that you're fully responsible for your child! I'm glad to hear that you're still going on in life and whatnot despite the situation.)

I've seen plenty of teenage parents have TERRIBLE responsibility for their child. I swear, half the time one parent leaves because they don't want to deal with such a thing. I have yet to experience ONE teenage couple who actually knows that they're doing right for their child.

Also, it costs a lot of money to raise a newborn baby. All that diaper costs, food, clothes--a lot of teenagers don't have a job yet or their job isn't well-paying, and really it's not their parents' own responsibility to take care of the money issues within the family. Those things are expensive, and the parent of the child should be the one paying for his/her child.


Pretty much. Most teen parents rely heavily on their own parents to take care of the kid and offer financial support. How well a teen parent does often depends on income level and class. A rich girl who gets pregnant, well, she can continue her education more easily because she has a parent who can afford to stay home, or afford a babysitter or daycare. She doesn't have to cut back on school activities or social life. But girls in the lower class? Plenty of girls have to drop out of school, temporarily or permanently, to get a job and take care of the baby. It's NOT something that works out well for most girls. Not all girls have the same opportunities.

Whether or not teen pregnancy is a good idea depends on the time, place, and culture. Just because it was normal two hundred years ago doesn't mean it's a good idea here and now. Take societies where women can only work in the home. A baby wouldn't put them behind in their career or education like it might today. Girls back then were raised with the expectation that they would have children in their teens so they were prepared for it. People back then had shorter lifespans so early baby-making was a must. American teens today are in a different culture, they're raised with different expectations and standards.
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now i dont agree that we should promote teen pregnancy.

but i do agree that its stupid that you get dirty looks.
i have a friend who got accidentally pregnant. but you know what?
she is the most nurturing and motherly person i know.
and very modest.
Most people, from what ive seen, since people are living longer and longer (Since this isnt the olden times where people die at the age of like, 30 or something) and how a ton of young people are (13-17) they shouldnt be having a kid, mainly because of the fact that they dont really have that much common sense, or dont know how to raise a kid and or dont have the knowledge to raise one really. Plus, considering the fact that back then, kids now adays were raised to have kids, since the whole short lifetime thing, they were prepared. Unlike now, where its a different standard, social thing, etc. where kids aint raised to have kids.

My Grandmother had her first child at the age of 18-20 (I would give the right age, but all I know is my uncle is over 60.) The last child she had was my Uncle who is around 45 years old, and hes perfectly fine. He doesnt have down syndrome, he doesnt have a mental retardation, hes perfectly fine. The only one who seems to have any forms of mental issues/mental retardations/Mental issues in general Was/is my mother. Mainly because my mother is crazy as ********.

My sister was given birth when my mom was around 30. Shes perfectly fine, except shes mainly like my mother (Not as mentally crazy but still, acts like her relationship wise, s**t like that) and I was born a year and a half later, and I am high functioning Autistic.

My mother had two miscarriages at around your age. So obviously that kinda will discourage her from having kids considering that one fact that she lost not one, but TWO children when she was young, when you say that nothing is suppose to happen. The ideal time to have kids.

On another note though, Im happy at the fact that you can take care of your child and make sure she gets the attention that he/she needs. Most kids your age, and even my age cant even do that.
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Personally, as long as the person having the child is responsible enough to care for the child, I don't really see much of a problem with it. It would be preferred that a little more life experience be had before having children of your own, but if you raise the child right, are there for the child to provide for all of its needs, and love the child unconditionally realizing that you no longer live for just yourself but for someone dependent on you as well, then you have my blessing.

But in reality, my blessing or the blessing of others isn't really required. Nor should you care about the stares and muttered non-sense people spout about either.Ultimately it is your life affected. Not theirs. People just want to project their own concepts and values on others because they feel they need to. Hopefully you and others in your position don't let people like these affect your life in any way. You live your life as you see fit. As long as you are not hurting anyone else or that you become irresponsible towards your responsibilities as a mother, it is your life to lead as you see fit.

If you are neglecting the child, that is when it becomes a concern for others. Not because it is their right to interfere, but as human beings we all need to look out for the welfare of a child. Anyone who can ignore the needs and anguish of a child, even at the hands of the parent, is a heartless person.

May the heavens forbid it ever happen, but if someone saw me act irresponsibly or neglectfully to my children, I would hope they have the scruples to confront me about it.

I hope that my daughter wait before she were to have a child of her own. Times are different now from the times of the Renascence or even the times of my grandparents - life taught you different lessons at a much younger age back then. Today, it takes a person a while to develop some of the more complicated checks of maturity than it did in times before. Still, if it is her fate to become a young mother, I will do what I need to do to ensure that she becomes the best mother possible to her child.

Love child, respect the child and provide for the child as it needs, and I think that no one should be able to judge you about it.
Cassini Senpai's avatar

Aged Conversationalist

Because the common consensus is that 17 year olds aren't very mature. Don't get me wrong, You're probably a great mother but reading this as a 22 year old, I'd say that I'm still too immature to father a child.

The problem is that not all 17 year olds are as mature as you are and as such you get chucked into the stereotype that you're not old enough to have kids. I'm guilty of this, If I saw a teenager with a baby I'd probably be thinking that they're not old enough to have kids, they should be going out and having fun and playing with their friends and because this is generally what they should people assume that they are still doing that and as such aren't ready for a kid.

In short, People think your'e too young and assume your'e not doing it properly.
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If being a parent at the age of 17 is working for you, that's great, but I will be a bit iffy toward teenage mothers. Why? Because there are ways to help prevent it from happening -- contraceptives.

Whenever I see a teenage mother, I always wonder, "Did they practice safe sex?" My guess is generally "No.", even though I realize contraception can fail. However, with the use of birth control and condoms, the chances of failure are small. And the teen mothers I have come into contact with (when I found out they were pregnant and asked if they used protection) usually have said "No, because it makes it not feel as good." rolleyes

So, generally, my first impression in regards to teenage mothers is not great, and is usually the feeling of them being ignorant when it comes to sexual education. There are ways pregnancy can be prevented, and it's foolish, in my opinion, to have a child so young in this day and age.
Noxidot
I brought this to extended discussion with an over abundance of frustration.

I'm a teenage mother (17 years old) and constantly get dirty looks from people who don't know me. I am a graduate with good GPA and am working on getting my own business started.

I don't understand where this overly used bias against teenage pregnancy came from. Back in the time of Kingdoms and castles, Shakespeare, and Renaissance, you started having children when you were a "woman" which was the day you started your menstrual cycles.

My mother is an RN with 7 years of college who condones teenage pregnancy (if the teenager of course, is being responsible) because of how well women do giving birth earlier in life than later. The facts are there. It is highly recommended women above mid-twenties and up don't have more children due to the high chances of retardation in a fetus. This is caused because the body is older and can't catch something wrong with an egg that plants itself. When you're young, your body causes a natural humane abortion if there is something wrong. Yet for some reason everywhere it states women between the ages of 20-30 are "in their prime". I was a healthy infant born to my mother when she was 19. She had twins she carried to 3 months that she miscarried at 25, then she had my sister when she was nearly 27. My sister had a terrible speech impediment for nearly 5 years and had to ride the special needs bus until she was 8. Observing women who had children at later ages, they're often more hyper-active offspring.

I know three of seven mothers who had multiple children for financial reasons at the age of 30-40. Now they have a child with down syndrome.

Another irritating thing to me is there was a woman talking crap about me for being a 17 year old mother. She lives off of welfare, has 5 kids, and smoke/drank through her pregnancies. How is it fair that as much as I try to be a fitting parent, I can't be in the eyes of even the most unfit people just because of my age?

I quit using drugs, I took additional classes to graduate on time, and I saved money and prepared for my child's arrival. Now that she's here, I stay at home with her so that she is given enough love and affection for a proper development.

Of course in the case of a mother being a teenager and passing her child off to go out and party isn't proper parenting. We're discussing when a teenager is willing to be a parent figure instead of a, well, teenager. I know a teenage mother who smoked through out her pregnancy and after her child was born, she would stand at absolute most three feet away from him and smoke cigarettes. Not that she isn't loving, but I believe that's what gives teenage mother's a bad reputation. Yet when we see an adult woman do that, we make a comment usually in our mind and then look the other way.

So Extended Discussion, what is your opinion on teenage pregnancy?
Why is it that I'm a terrible, horrible, unfit parent just because of my age?

First, some things to consider...
While in Shakespearean times, it was common for women to get pregnant very young, it was also common for these women to live not much past 25, be impregnated by men twice and three times their age, and live in constant fear that demons had not possessed them as punishment for their sins.

Also, while its true that its easier to give birth at a young age, its also true that too young can cause complications. Additionally, medicine has advanced such that we don't need to worry so much about getting women to start spitting out heirs as soon as possible. Also, please define 'high chances' in relation to retardation.

Since we are talking mostly from personal experiences, I have seen only rare cases that prove the rule rather than challenge it that young girls are not really ready to be parents generally. Its not a question of reputation, but of maturity.

You might be fantastic. Good for you. Most however are not. I don't even know why you seem to seek public approval though. You got knocked up and, if your story is true, seem to be dealing with it well. Be happy with that and roll on.

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