Dirty Little Secrets [Announcement 11/8/2023]

Before I go, I've got to know:

Is that what you mean to say?	29.3%	[ 748 ]
Before I rise to my defense,	5.0%	[ 127 ]
Before I speak in hurt or fear,	5.6%	[ 142 ]
Before I build that wall of words,	4.3%	[ 110 ]
Tell me: did I really hear?	10.2%	[ 260 ]
Words are windows, or they're walls,	9.8%	[ 250 ]
They sentence us, or set us free.	6.1%	[ 157 ]
When I speak and when I hear,	2.9%	[ 75 ]
Let the love light shine through me.	26.8%	[ 684 ]
Total Votes:			[ 2553 ]

[Tantalizingly]

lone_cat

Entangled Echoes

I don't know how I feel about things these days

[Suicide Salvation]

analthrasher96

lone_cat

Entangled Echoes

I don't know how I feel about things these days

[cosmosredshift7]

I want to die
I just want to ******** die

[Form Abattoir]

Be it a rock or a grain of sand, in water they sink as the same.

[Form Abattoir]

He's so weird... and I'm beyond done.
What is so difficult about wanting clarity?
Someone to be straight forward, someone to be honest, someone who isn't going to beat around the bush, or someone who is gonna get all sketchy.
Or better yet?
Someone who doesn't just hang out with you when they need things.

A friend in need is a friend indeed.


Just tired of it, and his distance and his vacantness.
But the sick, sad matter of fact?
I will end up seeing him, not discussing what I want to, ******** him, and going to sleep in his arms or next to him. And I'll be wondering what in the actual ******** just happened.
Sigh and try to forget it, because I can kid myself into thinking I'm happy, that this is good, and that the human interaction is necessary.
To have that intimacy and connection with someone, even if it's just that physical aspect.

It's bad now that my mother is referring to him as "The Tramp" or "Your Slut Friend."

[A BLOODBATH]

I was a raging psychopath just a year or two ago.

A lot of things have changed. An insane amount of things, actually. I'm not completely healed, but for the most part, I've found peace. There's still this raging inferno inside of me; only now, it's not destroying. Not intentionally, at least. I still catch my loved ones in the crossfire of my passion, try as I might not to do so... I try to mostly utilize it as a means of providing warmth and protection for others.

I'll get to a point where I don't have to say that I'm not entirely at peace. I'll get to a point where I can love unconditionally, where I can let go, where I can support fully with understanding, where I can light up the paths of my fellow journeymen.

I will be a ray of love and light, and a beacon of guidance in the lives of the lost.

I look forward to that.

[Suicide Salvation]

Merr.. I'm trying so hard not to spend money, besides gas. I want this shopping trip so badly, I haven't gotten to shop shop in a super long time, and I'm looking forward to it.

[what the chicken]

i'm off my nut on a cocktail of tylenol pm, antihistamine, and someother third thing.
makes me happy rly, cus I'll actually be able to sleep without Mr Loud being able to rouse me.
********' ankle. ********.

[what the chicken]

unbothered. smile biggrin mrgreen 3nodding

[Form Abattoir]

analthrasher96

lone_cat

Entangled Echoes

I don't know how I feel about things these days

[Princess Jaydenn]

None of my rp partners from any of my accounts are online. -pouts-

[Smoking Daffodils]

I'm great at self sabotage.
pretty sure if I had a super power that's what it would be.

-----------------------

I feel myself opening up less and less
closing the doors and windows
building my walls higher
I'd rather be protected than risk falling apart again

maybe that's why everything falls apart
I let someone in and then I close up
I push them out
farther and farther

Typical me right?
I've never been one to be friendly with anyone
given that's mostly because I hate people and everyone else sees it as me being "too good" for everyone around me
no I just really don't like anyone really
as far as I'm concerned I'm a piece of s**t human being...pretty sure I see it as everyone's too good for me.

oh well
I can't change how everyone feels about me
or felt about me in the past
and frankly I don't care too anymore

I'm not going to change myself so people can accept me
I am me
I say what I say because I don't feel filters or sugar coating things should be important
I'm blunt and if that makes me a cold hearted b***h then fine
at least I'm ******** honest

I feel worse for people who expect the lies and sugar coated words
wanting someone to lie to you so you feel better....that's just sad
I'd rather someone was blunt and honest with me than lying to me right to my face
at least that way I know how they really feel and I don't have to pretend to believe in s**t they don't even mean.

and here I am on a rant of rants...
today is one of my days
or weeks
this s**t with Jason set me back how many years in my development to not give a ******** about things.
I feel myself slipping
I need to stop it
I need to before I lose everything
again

[Doccubus]

We have girls coming from canada tonight to scrimmage us.
Too bad I'm still not cleared for hitting.


; 3; stupid surgery.

[Doccubus]

I'm almost convinced that she is having this done only because she saw how much attention some one else got from it.


I cannot even be too specific on this subject, because I feel entirely horrible for even thinking it.
But its my true feelings.


sweatdrop