Dirty Little Secrets [Announcement 11/8/2023]

Before I go, I've got to know:

Is that what you mean to say?	29.3%	[ 748 ]
Before I rise to my defense,	5.0%	[ 127 ]
Before I speak in hurt or fear,	5.6%	[ 142 ]
Before I build that wall of words,	4.3%	[ 110 ]
Tell me: did I really hear?	10.2%	[ 260 ]
Words are windows, or they're walls,	9.8%	[ 250 ]
They sentence us, or set us free.	6.1%	[ 157 ]
When I speak and when I hear,	2.9%	[ 75 ]
Let the love light shine through me.	26.8%	[ 684 ]
Total Votes:			[ 2553 ]

[HormonalTeenager]

d@ tower of pimps tho

[Werefox]

I'm at ease right now... did I resignate...? Or am I just being too hopefull... my mind fills up with doubts... but then again I don't know what to do at all... I keep feeling any hour soon... any minute.. any day I'll see my worst nightmare come true... and I?... What will I do when that momment arrives..

[mynameisprenn]

".....are those green grapes?"
"......yes"
"i hate green grapes"
"well, i hate purple grapes"
"well, i guess this won't work between us, now will it?"
"but but...you can eat all the green grapes, while i eat all the purple ones?"

idk.
but just the little things like this she does everytime we talk
make me wish we were married.

[Darkness My Old Friend]

And the severe depression has kicked in.

[HormonalTeenager]

I'm working out tomorrow.

I don't care if I don't want to,
I'm going to go downstairs and throw weights around for a little bit.

If dad has the trailer unhooked,
then I'm gonna go get the neighbors stuff.
Finally, I guess.

idk.

I have my tickets for DC now,
so I really want to be in a lot better shape for that trip.
I have 3 months.

[A Decayed Autumn]

Heh, friends?

I want those friends to understand. There's a stress laying gasoline underneath me. I've been trying to cling to certain people, where I can unwind, where I can let it all slip away.

But now? Heh.
I feel like exploding, letting the old me come out, throwing up those walls, and watching myself slowly starting to burn, as the flames grow darker and darker.

I hope the friends that do see this..Understand.
I'm slowly watching one of my best friends, lie a little bit to me to try and not to get me to stress and worry about how they are truly doing.
That I'm truly ******** alone when it comes to things, and I really don't have anyone around to talk to, to try and distract my mind on thinking on this.

So, we'll see how much longer I can sit on top of fire and the explosions, growing beneath me. Til I throw the walls up, and I revert back, and everything I worked for comes to a fail.

Just completely ******** outraged.

[Dork Of Your Dreams]

I'm going to punch you for that post and for being so cute, what the heck.

but I can't even do that, ha.
being far away is lame.

[Yellow-Fevered Black Guy]

I was better than I was three days ago. A lot better.

[HormonalTeenager]

Blaghgejaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

I might go apply to the YMCA.

Afternoons, 20 hours a week.
And working in a facility that encourages fitness.. why the heck not.

[Darkness My Old Friend]

I am starting to doubt anyone would actually miss me if I didn't wake up tomorrow.

[HormonalTeenager]

75 days.
Well, it's probably 74 now.

Work out hard, 3-4 days a week.
I may do an every other day schedule.

Track your progress.
Measurements every week or two, idk.

Why do I keep making excuses?
******** if I know.
No more, though. I refuse.

I may go out and buy a foam roller.
I don't know what hardness I'd want, though.
Black is probably gonna be way, way too hard for me.
'Bout perfect for dad, then. lol.

[Hellodies]

Damn waiting games...

[Dork Of Your Dreams]

"hey i have a great big nerd crush on you okay thanks bye u wu"

- Anonymous

aw anon, that's so sweet emotion_kirakira
but what the heck, why would you even???
the only thing that is a "great big nerd" is me,
so you shouldn't have to be on anon or anything~

[Mado Kureo]

"i can do this."

"you have to touch people."

"i totally cannot do this."

crying

i didn't think at all about having to touch people. i mean, i'm still ******** terrified of the thought of speaking to them. and i'm working on that, but how am i supposed to handle touching them as well?

if i have a panic attack in front of strangers i will never forgive myself.

[HormonalTeenager]

I'm sort of upset that I can't seem to get a hold of my life.

---

I'm really.. glad, I guess, that she's so understanding?
I feel weird being so transparent with her sometimes.
It's never weird, it's always just.. us talking.
And sometimes I feel like I scare her,
because we just get to these moments where we study each other.
It usually ends with me blushing/laughing and looking away,
but I told her that I watch her a lot.
The way she moves and the way her muscles react.
She said she was probably going to be hella self conscious,
but I explained why after she said that.
I surprised her with what I said.

I freaked her out the day I explained her selfie "obsession" to her.
She asked me like half a dozen times how I knew that about her.

There are some things that she trusts me more than her boyfriend with.
She flat out admitted that the other day, when I asked about it.
I don't know that I want her to like me back.
I'd be really scared if she did. Really, really goddamn scared.

Things just feel easy with her.
Way too easy.