open this its scary open this its scary
read this!! read this!!
read this read this
Ok i know u hate this crap when people send you stuff like this but trust me i mean trust me this is is freakin scary its sooo crazy and it works but u have too belive in it.. soo good luck lates
DO NOT SEND THIS BACK TO THE PERSON THAT SENT YOU IT!!! [not a good idea]
DO THIS ITS SOO FREAKY *DID NOT START*
thursday october 6, 2005
here just do it
most people aren't sure of what they really want in life. I received this letter from a friend on the computer, did what it told me to, and within a week, everything I had wished came true!! Here's an exact copy,
1. To yourself, say the name of the only guy or girl you wanna be with 3 times!
2. Think of something you wanna accomplish within the next week and say it to your self 6 times!!
3. If you had 1 wish what would it be? say it to yourself 9 times!!!
4. Think of something that you want to happen be tween you and that 1special person and say it to your self 12 times!!!
This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well-groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first.
John: "Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary."
Mary: "Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's a** with us."
Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss his a**?"
John: "If you kiss Hank's a**, he'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, he'll kick the s**t out of you."
Me: "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?"
John: "Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do what ever he wants, and what he wants is to give you a million dollars, but he can't until you kiss his a**."
Me: "That doesn't make any sense. Why..."
Mary: "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the a**?"
Me: "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..."
John: "Then come kiss Hank's a** with us."
Me: "Do you kiss Hank's a** often?"
Mary: "Oh, yes, all the time..."
Me: "And has he given you a million dollars?"
John: "Well, no, you don't actually get the money until you leave town."
Me: "So why don't you just leave town now?"
Mary: "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and he kicks the s**t out of you."
Me: "Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's a**, left town, and got the million dollars?"
John: "My mother kissed Hank's a** for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money."
Me: "Haven't you talked to her since then?"
John: "Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it."
Me: "So what makes you think he'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?"
Mary: "Well, he gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty dollar bill on the street."
Me: "What's that got to do with Hank?
John: "Hank has certain 'connections.'"
Me: "I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game."
John: "But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And remember, if you don't kiss Hank's a** he'll kick the s**t of you."
Me: "Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to him, get the details straight from him..."
Mary: "No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank."
Me: "Then how do you kiss his a**?"
John: "Sometimes we just blow him a kiss, and think of his a**. Other times we kiss Karl's a**, and he passes it on."
Me: "Who's Karl?"
Mary: "A friend of ours. He's the one who taught us all about kissing Hank's a**. All we had to do was take him out to dinner a few times."
Me: "And you just took his word for it when he said there was a Hank, that Hank wanted you to kiss his a**, and that Hank would reward you?"
John: "Oh no! Karl's got a letter Hank sent him years ago explaining the whole thing. Here's a copy; see for yourself."
John handed me a photocopy of a handwritten memo on "From the desk of Karl" letterhead. There were eleven items listed:
1. Kiss Hank's a** and he'll give you a million dollars when you leave town.
2. Use alcohol in moderation.
3. Kick the s**t out of people who aren't like you.
4. Eat right.
5. Hank dictated this list himself.
6. The moon is made of green cheese.
7. Everything Hank says is right.
8. Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
9. Don't drink.
10. Eat your wieners on buns, no condiments.
11. Kiss Hank's a** or he'll kick the s**t out of you.
Me: "This would appear to be written on Karl's letterhead."
Mary: "Hank didn't have any paper."
Me: "I have a hunch that if we checked we'd find this is Karl's handwriting."
John: "Of course, Hank dictated it."
Me: "I thought you said no one gets to see Hank?"
Mary: "Not now, but years ago he would talk to some people."
Me: "I thought you said he was a philanthropist.