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this was actually the idea of the english guy who hangs at the bar where i work.
He said i should write all the funny stuff down that happens in my life, so here goes one!

Horoscopes!

I really like horoscopes.
I dont believe in them, but i always wanna read what supposed to happen in my life.
Mostly my horoscoop is incorrect, and if horoscopes were true, then im almost always some other sign every day.
One week i was basicly all 12 signs!

A few days ago one horoscope said: "Wear protection if your going to have intercourse. or you might become pregnant!".
Thats not a horoscoop, THATS AN ADVICE!!
That would be the day, a guy getting pregnant.
can you see it, talking to your girlfriend or wife; "euhm honey..euhm, its seems im kinda... ... ... pregnant."
And then try to explain that to your family, they either think your joking or just escaped from Franiker.

Franiker is a little city famous for their nuthouse next to the railways.
Not the best place to keep fruitcakes.
Before you know it, they escape or get hit by train.
No, i rather put a retirement place next to it.
Yeah! if old folk get hit a train, no harm done.
They had to die now or later, and rather now cause they costs too much.

And then you got the media and religions that make you keep the baby!
Cause women want you to keep it, so you can feel how it is to be pregnant.
HELLO! men arent build for being pregnant, like hell we should know how it feels.

And then the church...
oh, boy...
On one side, they want you to keep it cause else its murder
on the other side they'll believe that its satan's spawn.
So you know that anti-christs want to you to keep it.
Jews probably believe thats its a gift from god and that its the true messa-ah.
Then you got those new age lunatics.
They will probably claim that some E.T. has enpragnated you.
And then you got those starwars- and startrek- retards backing them up.

And that you got those them doctors.
They would love to examin every part of your body to earn a noble price and get more money.
They dont earn much with their pay-check so they will do everything to get more money and thats how cosmetic surgery was born.
So the changes that you could have abortion or suicide or 0.