Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

Daffey's Journal
Anything and everything, won't be daily, could be a load of rubbish...
Wednesday - Satan : the hiss and tell memoirs
English author Jeremy Pascall.
Illustrated by Martin Brown.
Adult fiction.
Funny funny funny.
Stupid, but funny.
Also, while reading this book I see Stephen Fry as The Author.
Heh heh. blaugh

A message from the author

You miserable maggots: I have recently stolen and
read a volume entitled 'G** The Ultimate
Autobiography' - I can't bring myself to write the
name of the Old Fraud - and I am shocked by its
contents.

The lies! The inaccuracies! Well, I have now
written my own vastly superior, far wittier and
more entertaining reminiscenses, all of which are
absolute gospel tru... fact. For the first time, all
will be revealed about:
*The Big Bang
Why I resigned from Heaven over a matter of
policy (a little matter of me winning the Pearly
Gates off St Peter in a poker game...)
*Hades - One Hell of a Place
Which over the millenia has expanded to
accommodate the billions of thrill-seekers
who have flocked to join the frolics
*The Temptation of Eve
One of my greatest coups. Just one little apple
and the human race fell into my hands
*My biggest disasters
Some catastrophes I'm really proud to be
responsible for

Tempted? Of course you are. This is a book which
will prove that I'm not as bad as I'm made out to
be: I'm far, far worse! It'll slay you! And if it
doesn't, then I will! Believe me, you'll love it.
Would I lie to you?
Have a lousy day.

Satan

THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS


Thought this was hilarious...

PUBLISHER'S WARNING

While we took every effort to check the facts in this book,
it must be remembered that The Author is the most ac-
complished liar in the history of the universe.
Nothing in this book should be believed.
Except this statement.
And, frankly, even this is not entirely true because we
made very little effort to check the facts. Mainly because
the first editor who worked with The Author disappeared
under unusual and suspicious circumstances and was last
seen dancing stark naked on Salisbury Plain, sacrificing
a chicken by biting its head off.
And the second editor... well, suffice it to say that the
second editor had the temerity to question The Author
on the veracity of the text suddenly changed his job. And
his form. Having no vacancies in the company for a goat,
however talented, we reluctantly let him go. But not,
sadly, before he had eaten part of the manuscript and
most of the Managing Director's furniture.
The third and last editor decided, wisely in our opinion,
not to challenge The Author on any of his so-called facts.
She struck up a close working relationship with The
Author and, as a result, is alive and well in the Sychelles,
living very comfortably on the £500,000 she embezzled
from this company.


I got to sleep in this morning.
Therefore am feeling better than yesterday.
The best bit though - I was dreaming, but not fully asleep - I could change what was happening in my dreams!
So cool!
Couldn't choose what I wanted to dream about though.
Also get to have five days off in a row starting tomorrow!
Wow!!
Will Daffey get some sleep?
You will most likely see entries from Daffey - as BB went out and bought a router (?) that picks up the net from Melody's connection.
At least that's what Daffey thinks.
So, what will tomorrow's book be?
Wait and see...





 
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum