Throughout the years I have had the attitude that fighting and raising your voice in a relationship gets you no where. Especially when I would have to listen to raised voices and fighting come from my mother and her husband. I promised myself, as a child, that any relationship I ever got into I would never raise my voice nor would I yell at my partner. Choosing to talk out the problems instead of walking away angry and if my partner and I did get angry at each other I would always walk away so the two of us could calm down so we could come back together and talk the problem out without either of us fighting.
The reason that I do that is because of all the yelling, and fighting in my younger years caused me to have wicked and severe PTSD today. It also didn't help my severe anxiety or depression but that's besides the point. Raised voices trigger my PTSD severely and I have told everyone around me about it because I want them to be aware of it and to try and not make my PTSD trigger.
The reason that I am writing this is because on August 1st of this year I meant the man I'd previously been talking to solely on facebook in person. He and I had established a quick and happy relationship, I can tell this man absolutely anything and everything and he does the same. We have no secrets from each other. He often calls me his twin flame because we are so similar in our personalities but still have stuff that isn't but we compliment each other really well. Loving him is, by far, the easiest thing I have ever been allowed to do. The man is amazing and treats me like I'm a Queen in his eyes, something that none of my exes ever did really. Anyways, it didn't take long for him and I to realize that we wanted to marry each other and, within a couple of days, I proposed to him and he said yes.
Anyways, got off track.
My fiance, who will now be RC from this point on, gets easily frustrated at the smallest things and he likes to take that frustration out on me. I'm a very understanding woman and I know why he's frustrated and I don't get mad or upset about it because I know he doesn't mean it. And although I don't get mad or upset I do get hurt by the way he acts with me in his frustration. He does tell me that he's sorry and that it's not me he's frustrated at and I do believe him but, again, it hurts when he does it.
I'm not going to leave the man because I do really love him and do want to spend the rest of my life with him. He absolutely means so much to me.
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