I meant a wonderful guy here on Gaia, originally only intended on being friends but than, suddenly, we were together. Talking for long hours, camming, we even talked about marriage and children. We’ve got almost the same personality and he’s exactly what I look for in a man. The problem is that he lives in Maryland and I live in New York. Now we’ve made plans to for him to fly here in July for the week of my birthday and for me to fly back with him to MD on the thirty first. Only problem is that I need money to stay at a hotel and I don’t believe that I will get the 1500 to 2000 dollars I need. I want to go back to MD with him but the truth of the matter is that with not having a job and being unable to borrow the money from people I doubt I will be going to MD from the 31st of July to August 14th.

I do intend on going to MD for a week in January, for his birthday, but I don’t want to wait until than to see him again. And I am putting in job applications everywhere I can but they all want people who have their high school diplomas or their GEDs. Both of which I do not have. How is it fair for someone who needs the money to get their GEDs to be rejected by jobs? I hate feeling like a failure, and I hate changing plans but what am I to do?

I just wish that my life wasn’t such a ******** up.