Aug 10th, 2018 (cont)
Today has apparently been eventful.
I went through my shift at work like a zombie. I know I'm getting all worked up over something I have no control over but I can't actually help it. My brain is my own worst enemy, it creates worst case scenarios and plays them over and over again and it sends me spiraling. I don't know how to fix this and I have been this way as long as I can remember.
My ex texted me while I was at work and the message was so big it had to be downloaded. I don't know how to take what I read. I feel bad knowing how badly I hurt him (yes, I feel bad despite all the fights over his controlling habits, the not really teasing about my hair length and what was acceptable, his attitude and shortness with me, I feel bad) and that what is happening is entirely my fault (I will use fault despite the fact I know this is what I needed to do. I needed to do this for me. All I can do is hope that things work out.
I'm exhausted. Today has been draining and I didn't have anything to face it with when I woke up.
Girl_in_love61636 Community Member 
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