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I'm looking at my old journal entries and JFC... I really dislike the old me. I'm not even bothered by the bad poetry, its the post regrading my bad day back in college. Man...if I could go back in time...yeah i'd kick my own a**.

Granted. I would have to put on some kind of disguise...and I suppose if we are talking time travel maybe I could have some kind of cloaking device. Something that made me look like...Gary from Pokemon red. That way I could kick my own a** and not tear a hole in space time.. Also, can you imagine seeing Gary from Pokemon just giving someone a good beat down? Like at first people would be like "oh my god, stop guys! Stop!" of course while holding a phone and recording...Then the internet wizards would chime in and point out that one guy looks like Gary from Pokemon. 1 million views later. I'm getting interviewed in my current, old age(im not THAT old, my wife is older, hehe, cant wait till she reads that) and i'm being asked by Tosh.o what it was like to get my a** handed to me by the antagonist from a kids video game.

I mean that day, I remember it well and yeah...I supposed it was an emotional day. I guess any day where some small inconvenience would be considered a big deal for a kid who had nothing to worry about. s**t, I took everything for granted back then. I really did.

Let me tell you about my dad.

My dad was the guy who would show up and fix any situation regardless of time or distance. He would be there. My dumb a** could be on the side of the road trying to figure out a jump start and he'd show up, get it done, try to teach me something, and go home.

He worked every day to make sure I didn't have to worry about food, clothes, entertainment, etc. He worked in construction so money didn't necessarily come easy but, we never struggled. Well, at least I never struggled, if we did, I would have never known, because that is the type of father I had.

He could fix everything...I mean every god damn thing. Jack of all trades master of all would be the correct term for him. God do I miss him.

He made sure I was at school on time, the refrigerator was always stocked, and supported me in every stupid bullshit thing I every got into. Problem is, when I was young and stupid...I don't feel like I gave him the respect and admiration he deserved.

I look back on some of my posts/memories and I feel like I was just a ******** spoiled douche. This isint some kind of feel bad, beat my self up post...I just read my old entries and am kind of disgusted by that rant. I was tempted to delete it but, I'm not a coward...Never have been. I want to keep it here as a reminder of the person I used to be.

Point is, we grow as we get older. We either become better assholes or worse assholes...but, generally we all just stay in some spectrum of a*****e. I'd like to think at this point I've become a better person. That I've grown. I just, still look at that old post...and think to myself....I'd really like to kick that guys a**...

I guess its normal. I never got to thank him for everything and apologize for the pain in the a** that I was. Lost him before I could. I did get to tell him that I love him. Literally the last thing I said to him was "Love you dad, goodnite". I went to work the next day and little did I know, that afternoon, I would loose everything.

Its been a few years since then. Much has changed. I have changed. That's all a entry for another time.