I don't what it is... but lately (as of only today), I've felt "disconnection."
... I really don't know why...
At first, I thought "it's cause I never see my boyfriend. How could I possibly feel anything without him?" But the truth is: I don't think that's the problem.
Something about today made me feel more... "adult," and I guess that's when I felt like I was just someone in someone else's body. Then I just became really really sad. Even now I feel depressed.
I want to say it's because my friend quit work and now I'm all by myself. But that's just not it.
I read some of Siren's Lament today, and it is extremely relate-able. The real, human, gritty parts, mind you.
There's just something about the main character Lyra that makes me feel understood. However, it also makes me see my life in a different perspective.
I don't know. I've just... had a lot of these kind of episodes in the past two or three years. I can't help but feel like something is missing.
Even with the decisions I have tomorrow, I can't tell which one I should take or whatever.
I just feel like I'm doing being my age. I want to go back to being a child when everything was simple. But I suppose that's how everyone feels, and we can't change how time works.
sigh... picture this
A lone tree at the top of a small hill. The grass as a deep dark evergreen as it will ever be. I'm sitting underneath it as my long brown hair flows with the scent of sweet iris flowers carries on in the wind. The warm of the summer breeze is enough to cool me and keep me warm company as I lazily let my sorrows and worries drift away...
That's all I want... Some sweet small moment in life to help me with this. Or something to make me understand why I feel so unaccomplished from time to time...
PiddQuinn Community Member 
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