[ y o u c o u l d c h a n g e i t a l l ]

Love a Little ; Love a Lot

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The days were dark and dreary now.

They had been so for six monthes, and you still hadn't adjusted.

Perhaps this was both your strenght and your fatal flaw, but you just didn't know when to stop hoping. Maybe this curse was only temporary, and maybe you could go back to being a normal human again. Of course, somewhere in your head, you knew that that couldn't be true.

But you just couldn't stop. This was your link to sanity. Even your cousin couldn't bring you out of your misery on your worst days. She was always kind, and patient. You had a sinking feeling that she would be able to deal with this curse much better than you would be able to.

The voices had come to you six monthes previous to this. You could remember the first time you had heard them. You were doing the dishes, and something had whispered your deepest, darkest secret in your ear. You had dropped the glass that you had been putting away, and began to scream for your cousin. When she had come hurling through the apartment, she found chaos in the kitchen.

You had been curled up on the floor, glass shards embedded in your foot and leg. She hadn't hesitated to call the ambulance, and had then tried to coax you into telling her what was wrong.

You could remember, five weeks to the day you had been released from the hospital, the voices had increased. Not even the medicine that they had given you could help. You had tried to go and get some coffee from the cafe down the street, and had ended up causing an outbreak of the flu.

Only then did you realize what was going on. There were some people in the world who had the capability to change the social norm, to rise up and bring justice and peace. And then there were those who were able to spread chaos and madness. You wanted to be the former so very badly, but had a sinking feeling that you were actually the latter.

The voices in your head said that you would be adored by the world, but they were liars. The only thing that they had ever done for you was turn the city against you. One by one, your friends had begun to stop talking to you. You were fine with it, you supposed. If they were going to be that shallow, then they didn't deserve your time and effort.

That was what you tried to tell yourself. They were probably in the right, anyways. Who would want to hang out with a freak that would just end up killing them, anyways?

But your cousin was there for you. Strangely, she seemed to be the only person who hadn't gotten sick from being around you. She tried her hardest to keep you happy when you were down, and you had to give her credit for that. But on your worst days, absolutely nothing could pull you out of you pit of depression.

The apartment building that you lived in became infamous for the curse. You didn't quite realize was the fuss was, until you had read the news about your own apartment building. A constant storm was brewing overhead. You had barely noticed that it was constantly raining.

Since then, everything had only become worse. You never, ever left the building. The darkness grew overhead, along with your depression. Even the candles that your cousin lit to keep the apartment lit became dark to you. The lights had long since stopped working in your home. Fortunately, the electricity was still on, so you had your computer.

Finally, your cousin gave up. She began to devote her time to reading about the superhuman people who walked the earth, in order to help you. In her nearly stalker-ish studies, you would find her crying over apparently nothing, and when you tried to ask her what was wrong, she shut herself off.

Eventually, you both became homestuck. Neither of you went outside. Food was either ordered, or brought by neighbours who wanted a favour, like they thought that you would be able to heal their pet or bring their lights back on.

One day, you just grew so fed up with it all. Six monthes of utter misery for you and your cousin. You both agreed, you had to try and live just a little bit, even if it was just for one day. You both had your tasks; your cousin would try and stock up on appliances and small comforts, while you would go and get the food.

It had taken so, so much courage to try and step out of the door. Eventually, you did, and the rain began to pelt you. Discouraged, you trodded forward, completely aware of the looks that she was getting. In her mind, the voices were telling her that she could smite them all, but her own voice was telling her that she deserved it.

What you didn't know, was that no one deserved this.

And there were so, so many amazing people who you would meet who would try their hardest to prove this to you.

Your name is [full name], and you might just learn how to love a little.