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Neither This Nor That
I suspect this will mostly be rants about politics and culture.
Wednesday, October 12th, 2011
It needs saying now and then that I consider the out or not out question a personal one. every individual that makes that choice has to balance questions of survival, employment, and safety against the long term good of the community as a whole. I am lucky that I can afford to be out because now I have my Federal benefits, i don't have to worry about the religious right picketing my workplace as has happened to others like me around the country. I am lucky enopugh to have a supportive family. I have made the personal calculation that if I get the s**t beaten out of me by assholes I am no longer able bodied enough to fight off that they will look like colossal douches for beating up a cripple when it gets to court, and that most people don't dare harass me because I can still pull out the teacher voice and my war face when I need too. I also have the medical coverage to get real care if I get injured doing this. That's my personal choice and calculation. Some of you haven't the money and job security to do that. Some of you live in significantly less safe for queer folk areas than my lefty city on the I-5 corridor of the PNW. Some of you don't have a s**t kicker vibe you can pull out of your a** in emergencies. some younger folks risk losing a chance at college, family violence, and homelessness if they come out right now. Some of you just want to live quiet, drama free lives, which is perfectly ******** valid, or have a myriad of other perfectly valid reasons to make your own decision. You will notice that I do not bully, harass, or judge folks who end up calculating in favour of some degree of stealth. The world is a messy, dangerous place and as a result decisions can get complicated. I have real sympathy with that. Yes, in the long run out is better and less exhausting, but people have to live in a now where food, shelter, money to pay bills, and safety sometimes trump the individual sense of freedom and the long term good of being out. so let's not be jerks to folks who decide otherwise, okay?

The only time I consider outing okay is when it's an anti-gay public figure actively working against people's civil rights.

May I add, leave Anderson Cooper alone. He is out enough to bring his partner to formal public events, but he covers news items on the ground in the Middle east, so a public statement would vastly increase his danger in countries with the death penalty for being gay. Also, he does a lot of pro gay rights reporting. He's not a hypocrite like Ted Haggard and Larry Craig. He's not even pretending to be other than he is, but a public statement could jeopardize the good he's doing in the world. He's made his private calculation about how out to be. he's not hurting you, so please let him get on with it.

NecHocNecIllud
Community Member
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