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I act like a b***h sometimes eek
I know, not much of a shock.
But I noticed as my room mate left I wanted to give him a hug and a kiss good-bye before he went to work, and I was annoyed with him when he did not give me a good chance to do so. So I am sitting in the kitchen getting breakfast and being all pissed off at him. Funny thing is last night I missed a game development meeting because I felt my craving for subway was more important than being on time. Also bought some nice apples, but food is not an excuse for not coming home on time when I know people would be waiting. Also found out that they had ordered pizza so there was good food waiting here.
What was wrong with me during the last game meeting. Joe let me do the recording of the session which was nice because it helped me follow along and made me feel like a part of it though I did not have many good ideas to bring to the table. During the entire planning session I kept laying down and trying to get comfortable as sleep pulled at me. Which made me an even less productive member of the group. Was I actually tired, or was it that I found it to be a nervous situation so I tried to relax but by relaxing found myself wanting to drift off to sleep.
Also I failed to present my material on my planned style for the artwork for the game. I still need to elaborate on that and create some more material for it, writing this journal is giving me ambition to do that, but I have to leave to get to work on time.
Argh! Sometimes I wonder if situations like this my mind sends signals of having ambition because it knows that I will not be able to act on it. The signals are more of a false sense, a thrill, a fake belief in being up to the challenge without the fear of actually having to start the process.
had weird dream last night, cant remember most of it, was not a nightmare, i think we were playing dnd, but it was neir, zack, brian, joe, and I, and we were at my parent's place in the porch. but later in the dream in the same house joe and i were both old and being cared for by young female nurses, I was angry at him, very angry and impatient but I don't know why. also at some point in the dream joe was thumbing through a sketch book of mine, I liked a lot of the stuff I saw, and in the dream it was all drawn by me staircase city, several scenes top corner looking down, faces, characters but the longer time elapses between now and the dream, the more i forget what everything looked like, but wont be able to recreate any of it, so it does not matter anyway, ugh that is an annoying feeling, loosing something so nice that I know is in my head I just cant access it
other fun thing of the day last night joe and I watched a show called Highschool of the dead HOTD basically zombies and pantie shots there was a gall in it who had sound effects every time her boobs jiggled, and they werent like normal sounds, they were boinging and wabbling sounds it was hillarious very much enjoyed laughing at it with him
other other fun thing today it took me a long time to type the first few paragraphs of this journal, I have started a system where I type something, then if it is typed wrong I delete the word and type it again, and if my fingers do not do an even flow for typing the word with no mistakes I delete it again and type it. I stopped doing that after the first couple paragraphs because I am running low on time, and things seem to flow quicker and easier when I don't care about punctuation and spelling, and getting things done right, but I hope by changing this in my typing I will be able to force myself to type more correctly more often and quicker, because auto correct has spoiled me and I have several words that I should know by now for how often I miss spell them, but I don't fix it because I have auto correct which does it for me, so I have to train myself to be correct without having to go back and fix all the red underlined words
eek to work now
Fay Da Way · Mon Sep 19, 2011 @ 02:46pm · 0 Comments |
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