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I don't know why, I'm just in such a s**t mood right now. I'm not immediately mad or sad, just some confusing combination of the two. For no reason. So I'll just mention what happened to my dog, because it really does suck.

He got trapped under a vehicle that's been rotting away in our back yard. We have no idea when it happened, because by the time we found out, the decomposition had already set in. He was such a sweet dog, my baby. I used to go see him, and I'd always tell him I love him, even though I didn't want to touch him. He was one of those pets that knew you all their life, both his mom and pop were ours. He didn't chase cats, and he didn't bark excessively. He even looked like our old OLD dog.

My poor BJ. That wasn't even his name, I just called him that. His actual name was Bruto, but I always thought that was a stupid name, and his mom's name was Bonnie, and he looked just like her, so I started calling him Bonnie Junior. Then I'd laugh when I called him that, because it could also mean blow job.

What hurts a lot is wondering how he must have suffered. Wondering when he took his last breath. And then his body had to sit under there and rot in the heat, until we could move the thing. Then I think about all our other pets that died, and it hurts to just imagine their body going through the process. I know it's something we all will go through, and that's what's so stupid. Why get worked up? I guess I can't help it. I might let a cat in now, though.