yum that sweet ache of pain
growing up my spine
swirling its way down to my belly
he is so loving so caring so understanding and accepting
i am empty 4laugh
i surround myself with people i can count on people that if i send a message to, i can expect one back in a minute they are always there for me
problem comes when they are all men problems also come when i don't give them the same treatment
i use and forget
i some times shut off my phone and disappear for several days i want to be nice and care for them but sometimes i just want to hide get a vacation from their kindness act like time is not passing while i sit alone anxious anticipation
i am oddly calm after breaking up with my boyfriend now i can stop hurting him by ignoring him he doesn't have to worry about every time i am upset he can just concentrate on his own stuff
he is upset that i don't have any good reasons he does not want to respect my decision to break up (i have reasons i just have no way to explain them) but he is accepting it, and plans to use this as ambitious force to improve himself good plans for him
i have no plans i just want to be single for a bit
hmmm i still have to figure out what i will do for my sister's wedding i cant take my newly ex i cant take my room mate i guess there would be no problem with me taking goatboy he is always good for such an occasion
in fact he is good for just about any occasion feeling down or lonely and i can just bother him he is always available me and him went to the fair today it was quite fun i think it made my room mate angry though which is odd because last night he had offered to take me to a fair the next week? when he refused to go with me today, and said he was going with someone else to the second fair before he confuses me he uses his free time to work, which is a lot more responsible than how i use mine
questionableness is my room mate i think he might be passive aggressive, with his only aggressiveness being a very cold shoulder
November 11th last year and now again August 13th (it was a Friday, weird, but i guess i finally got the note to him when it had already changed to Saturday the 14th)
i am chatting with my new ex online he has caught me red handed, i am still snuggling the teddy bear he made for me
maybe i am just addicted to pain and drama just wanting attention in any way that i can get it
ty works well to cure that by always being available joe makes it worse by making me feel more lonely when my drama games don't work on him
with all the drama i push out it is a wonder anyone can live with me
Fay Da Way · Mon Aug 16, 2010 @ 08:18am · 1 Comments |