So, it's 1:30 AM and I just finished a partner project with Azzy [or really what lack there was of me to do, she finished most of it right under my nose, dammit] and now I'm blaring Hitomi no Tsubasa like when I used to grind like an idiot in Maple Story [because you have to be an idiot to invest too much of your life in such a rigged game] but I figured, WHAT BETTER TIME FOR A JOURNAL ENTRY?
Things lately have been semi-busy. Not so busy without my job, which I lost because it sucked and I hated it and kinda wanted to go back to school, and I wasn't up to their ridiculously high standards anyway. Pfft. Supervisor said he had faith in my abilities and whatnot, but I didn't even ... want to try. He was a good man though, Trevor. Someday when I'm finished high school and onto college I'll send him a letter thanking him and TRG for making me understand how hard life could be outside of school.
So yeah, back in school and junk. It's pretty swell. I have a small group of lovely nerds I chat to on a daily basis, much to the chagrin of the local bitches who apparently cannot stand my constant chatting and general expressiveness, since it's obnoxious when it comes from an "uncool" person [what are you girls, ******** old?] and of course my dear best friend Azzylyn. Already one session has gone by, and lo and behold! I passed both of them. English astoundingly, math not so much but scraped by nonetheless. Now I'm doing science and health [gym] two formerly dreaded credits which hopefully will soon be in the bag for all of eternity.
Of course I still see my boyfriend a whole lot. My ever cherished Damian, the glowing, rampant flame of my life. I fear I get a little possessive with him sometimes, but he knows he's dear to me and I'm just attention-hungry, even if disputes arise every so often over nitpicks between us. They bond us closer, I think, as they should. The experiences paved by my former disastrous relationships have taught me to value something like this when it's in my hand, so there's no day that doesn't go by when I thank my stars [or more specifically. the moon] for it. It's easier for me to live naturally when I know I have his support by my side, express myself without fear of others judgment, though I might find myself quivering in anger when I meet the opposition of those who fancy themselves - pitiful fools! - above my spectrum. They don't have an ounce of the happiness and splendor for life that I have, the imagination that I possess. Reliant on disgusting mediums such as drugs or liquor to call any moment "precious", vomit-inducing. Yet all those who step up onto the podium are bound to be met with some scowls, so I try to forgive them after my seething has waned.
There is much more laughter shared between me and my classmates, and this is good! It is a new thing for me. I like it.
Now, I'm realizing it's getting on to be 2 o'clock so I should stumble to bed. There might not be much of worth in this entry as I leave it, but it's something. Some whispers from the heart.
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