Interestingly enough, whoever compiled the list at LEAST gave Christopher Lee pride of place. Lee's Dracula was one of the best and definitely one of the most malevolent. Unfortunately, we all knew that sparkly Edward Cullen would also make the list at number four, displacing better vamps like Blade (who was actually dhampir) and David (Keiffer Sutherland in Lost Boys).
I'm sorry, but today's breed of "emo vamps" has totally RUINED the genre. I've gotten to the point where I'm pleading for someone just to stake them and be done. And teenage vamps--unless it's Simon from The Silver Kiss from Annette Kurtis Klause--I just can't stomach. Vampires in prep school? Mean-girl vamps?
So, in an effort to right the wrongs done to the true and authentic heirs of Vlad the Impaler and Bram Stoker's brilliant creation, here's the CORRECT list of the BEST vampires ever (coming from an elder goth doyenne so you can trust my judgment implicitly...):
In no particular order:
1. Vlad the Impaler: depending on where you go, he's either some bloodthirsty psychpath or a national hero. Be that as it may, he was also the figure behind the legend.
2. The Countess Bathory: stay young, bathe in the blood of 8oo virgins. Guess botox was a little pricey back then. Still, this diva of destruction was willing to pay a high price for beauty. Her punishment since she was nobility and couldn't be killed like the rest of her helpers...walled into her chamber and slowly starved to death as she watched herself age.
3. Count Dracula: Bram Stoker's elegant victorian aristocrat. The book still gives me chills, Bela Lugosi's role was the benchmark and Gary Oldman made Dracula a man so much in love that he was willing to damn himself for eternity to find his wife (screw Edward; now THAT'S what I call LOVE). I've always had a soft spot for Lucy, the flirtatious rich girl whom Dracula turns into a vamp. Of course, she represented the Victorian idea of female sexuality (and we all know how the Victorians felt about THAT). Dracula also represented the fear and uncertainty of change in Victorian manners and morals.
4. Carmilla: Sheridan le Fanu. Not as well-known as the Count, but should be. I think a part of that is due to sexism--the fear of a powerful and amoral woman seductress. It's actually a great novel and worth the read.
5. Count Von Count: C'mon, Sesame Street's rockin' the muppet who made counting cool. He's totally kid-friendly but still...
6. Grandpa Munster: I just love him along with Lily.
7. Nick Knight, Lucien LaCroix and Javier Vaschon: From the incredible seies Forever Knight. Nick Knight was a cop and a vampire trying to atone for his life by being the good guy and bringing criminals to justice. It's a true struggle, often hampered by his sometime nemesis LaCroix, who taunts his efforts as being weak. LaCroix, like him or not, was the epitome of what a vampire should always be. They're hunters and they're unapologetic about that fact. Of course, the drop-dead gorgeous Ben Bass played informant Vaschon, another who struggled with his undead state.
8. Julian Luna: I absolutely LOATHE anything that Aaron Spelling had his hands on, but Kindred the Embraced (based on the White Wolf RPG that I was into), ended up as an exception and had the nerve to be better than it should have been, considering. The late Mark Frankel played Julian Luna, the vampire prince of San Francisco. He's cool, ruthless when need be, but not without cause. Because of him, a fragile peace exists between the warring vampire clans in the city. Another vamp worthy of the name because though he desires peace, he's never human. One always knows there's more to him...
9. Lestat (of course): Anne Rice, the real queen of vampire fiction. Stoker's the king.
10. David (The Lost Boys): In spite of the campiness and the appearance of the two Coreys (Haim and Feldman), The Lost Boys is a really good film. The Lost Boys actually had that gypsy-goth look going for them and if anything, vampires should ALWAYS strive to dress better than mortals. David (played with fiendish glee by hottie Kieffer Sutherland) was captain bad-a** of vampires. He wasn't a very nice guy, and why should he be? He was young and would like forever and could do anything he wanted. This is the ultimate in vampire ethos.
11. Sonja Blue: Nancy Collins is one of the best vampire fiction writers out there (not as many would have it LKH) and her female vamp Sonya Blue is testament to that fact. Based in the same world as Kindred (White Wolf's World of Darkness), Sonja Blue is a woman on a mission--to find out who turned her into a vampire and to save the somewhat innocent from being preyed upon by even worse human monsters. Armed with a very lethal silver switchblade, Miss Blue slays 'em and leaves 'em.
12. Nosferatu (as played by Max Schreck and later by Willem Dafoe): Nosferatu are the Anti-Lestats. Theses vamps are SO not pretty and you would NOT want to meet one anywhere! The original 'Nosferatu' with Max Schreck scares me shitless. He's bald with big pointed ears and feral teeth. This guy isn't going to wine or dine anyone. Again, another vampire who lives up to the idea.
Okay, I'm done for now. I'm going to end this by wondering why most vamps are caucasian (and forget about Blacula). We live in a multicultural world now and it's SO not acceptable for this world to remain lily-white. Octavia Butler's Fledgling is an exception, since Shori is black. But come on, let's make the world of vampires cooler and more inclusive.
That's it. Peace!
Apocalyptica
Sexy men with stringed instruments...what's not to love???
Sexy men with stringed instruments...what's not to love???
