It doesn't make any sense, none of it. I feel like I'm incomplete, like something is missing, though it shouldn't feel like that. I mean, I have everything I need to survive, food, clothes, a roof over my head, friends and family that love me, but it just doesn't seem to be enough. I have one friend that thinks it might be an unaccomplished dream, and, given my age (20), it would make sense that I have a dream or two left to fulfill. I know I want to succeed in life, eventually marry, have a family, and to travel the world, or atleast a little bit of it. So, it doesn't surprise me that I feel like something's missing, but it just seems to be so much more then that, like I have a hole in me. I'm not as happy as I'd been, I don't get excited about when the holidays come around, and I feel like the spark I feel when I'm doing my favorite things isn't there.
Is there a name for this? Is it depression? Am I just not the way I once was because I am no longer the kid I was way back when? You know, it might all have to do with the fact that I haven't had the usual childhood. Being the elder sister, I learned to groe up fast, though it was decidedly fast since my parents were divorced. Oh, my parents tried their best to keep me in the dark but I've always been a nosey kid. *sigh* Maybe this is depression, which is stupid because, as stated, I have no real reason to feel this way. Perhaps there's nothing really going on, perhaps I'm reading into something really simple. I have always been insure, though my sister is the complete opposite. Sometimes I feel as if I'm empty, as if I'm just walking around acting like the person I should be, or as people might see me.
Goodness, after rereading this I realizied how depressing and utterly stupid this entry is. As it is, I sound like a total spoiled brat who isn't get what she wants from her parents, though I swear up and down that I am probably the least spoiled person ever. And hopefully that doesn't sound like I'm stuck up, cause I'm not that either.
Lord, what is wrong with me?
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moonchick's Journal
just stuff.....thoughts, ideas, complants about life...
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A person does things for the person they love, no matter how much it hurts them. Flirting is a dangerous art; loving is hard; confessing is harder.
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Now, this is coming from a complete stranger who doesn't know any more background then you've just presented here, but I think I have the answer as to why you have an empty feeling inside you. Now, by all accounts, it could be depression, but I'm more inclined to believe that that empty feeling is there because you haven't taken the step to fill it.
Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
And
Revelation 3:20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me
God is waiting for you. Waiting to fill that empty gap with himself. Since Jesus died on the cross for your sins, all you have to do is ask!
1 Peter 3:18 For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God.
Romans 10:9-10 That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.
Like I said, I don't know your background or what you're dealing with, but God doesn't just "work" for some people, he's for everybody. And he wants you.
Some additional resources to life's tough questions...
<3 Clearkid