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...For I have finally obtained the precious bounty that is Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater.

What I'm sure a lot of you are wondering(Yes, all three of you.): Why didn't I have the game before? It's been out since November, and it'll be close to a year soon. So, wanna know why?

Because I'm cheap. There are about...Three games that I've bought the moment they came out: Devil May Cry, Kingdom Hearts, and Zelda. The DMC that I got was used, so it was cheaper anyway (Aya was with me, ask her for the whole story.)

Hell, I'm so used to waiting for games, I played Sons of Liberty two years after it first game (Whereas everybody else and their mother had bought, played, and beaten the game.) The first time I ever played MGS1? At a friend's house in 1999, during the battle with Metal Gear Rex. It was the part in the battle wheer Grey Fox came in, kicked MG Rex's metal a**, and then was impaled and, subsequently, killed by Liquid... Fox....;_;

So, I got the game for $25 at my local game stop, and, the moment I went home, popped it in the PS2, and began my 'magical' adventure into Snake Eater.

Yeah, like, hell.

I started Normal and stopped playing after two hours. Wanna know where I got in two hours?

To the ruins of the small area where Sokolov was being held. Yeah, I hadn't even gotten inside. So, I erased that file and and restarted on Very Easy. The EZ gun is my new best friend.

Laugh and Die. I beat DMC3 and it's absurd difficulty into the ground multiple times, try topping that, a*****e.

So, what I did I do with my new found freedom?

I killed a helluva lot of animals, that's what. Specifically, large crocodilians and many, many Japanese flying squirrels. Did you know that Snake loves hornets nests? No? Well, neither did I.

I spent far too much time just outside the Bolshaya, killing as many crocs as I could.

For fun, of course. In MGS3, I thouroughly condone the killing of as many animals you can find. Including The End's Parrot.

Yes, you heard me right. You can capture The End's Parrot and eat it.

Speaking of which, did you know that Ocelot is absolutely adorable? Sure, batshit crazy old man Ocelot is cool, but young Ocelot is just...*dreamy gaze*

I was nearly squeeing like a little fangirl at his first appearance. So much, that I actually went back and created a new save file right before you first meet him.

Three amusing, if stupid, facts about Ocelot in MGS3:

-Ocelot, though easily killing the KGB soldiers, gets his a** handed to him by Snake, and later EVA.

-*SPOILER* and *SPOILER* are his parents, as well.

-Also, if you kill him after knocking him unconscious, a screen not unlike one that appears when Snake dies shows up saying that "Ocelot is dead." The letters then switch around to spell "Time Paradox.", with Continue on the bottom.

So, you can't kill Ocelot. Well, you can, but you'll have changed the Future. Kill him as many times as you want, though, because you'll still end up fighting him at the Bolshaya.

If you couldn't figure that out... you're an idiot.

I'll be back with more Metal Gear Stupidity after I stop shooting Ocelot's hat off in battle. If you do, he'll go chasing after it saying "You're not fighting fair!"

xd